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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.  I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
  |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-written journal) = jour. (contests) = test. 6 สิงหาคม 2566  news. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-biggest-threat-to-america-isn-t-trump-or-m... exor. 300/200/200/400 = 1.000 79 drizzly degrees. เที่ยง. 79°F 26°C drizzle  PorP "There 🇺🇸 [84] A6 40w 'failure'"  bogs. Neva/Lyn/Joy blog. "August rains down upon us" ss&s. face. photo of lantern (bought in Luang Prabang) that Pan set up last night. walk. We went to see Barbie. foto. Barbie. tv25. We got back late. Pan has hiccups but doesn't want to go to 7/11... another day he'll spend in bed. Another day wasted for me. I did my exercise in the drizzle. I fetched filtered water. I will attack each task without joy, but in the knowledge that in the end it matters... to me... if no one else. Depression creeps in when I realize 'I matter to no one else". No one calls. No one sends messages. No one comments. I could scream and no one would notice. But that's hyperbole. Someone here would chew me out for screaming. And, yes, people do care... a little... and even send me a message! or comment on spoosebase! or speak if I speak first! or... well, that's about the extent of it. To huser:nordicnoir (Ned) "Wonderful poem. I see it in my mind.  I don't have these memories of my childhood. I couldn't see without my glasses and wasn't allowed to play with them. Someone throwing a ball at me was terrifying." To QotD: "My phone is a hotspot in Thailand. In Montana? Go to a cafe... if one is open. Activities off line: walk, swim (not alone), try talking to people! (not always successful). In Montana I could read or watch movies. In Thailand I can watch TV. Years ago... just visit friends and play cards or chat. Years ago... garden. I don't have a garden and I don't have friends anymore." ![Merit Badge in Fantasy Writing
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 5 สิงหาคม 2566  exor. 300/200/200/300 = 1.000 10:01-10:35 75-79 degrees.  Rain. news. wash. Done. Hung.  เที่ยง. 79°F 26°C blog. "Warped Health Shoon ... A Single-service Society." "Intersections, home or no home? " bogs. Lilli/Beholden/Petra ss&s. PorP. " Grenada 🇳🇮 [83] A5 40w 'beauty'" To Neil: "Yep. Yesterday had one horrendous moment. Today is much better. I am aware about the lack of quality in Thailand but for many things... like shirts... it's not an issue. However... shoes are a different matter. Overall, stuff is so cheap (when compared to US) that I don't worry much about that (I'm a worry-wort). I am irked about this being a throw-away society though. That's hard for me. I feel safe in Udon. Being gay or being in a relationship isn't an issue, especially in Udon. Being a foreigner isn't a problem as well. The people aren't born thieves (like in Costa Rica) or violently confrontational (like in the USA). However, I walk... Thai's don't and crossing a street needs three Hail-Mary's. Plus, I feel desperately isolated. I'm still breathing, although frequently short-of-breath. Thanks for responding." shop. veggies, pork, eggs. tv25. Enigma คน มนตร์ เวท. Spooky ending.  walk. two short forays... but no long walk like yestereve. Pan is jealous if I go out at night. pool. Ask Pan. pôod. a little. 4 สิงหาคม 2566  bogs. Robert/Neil/Joshua blog. in progress news.https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/why-so-many-americans-have-stopped-going-to-ch... face. foto of dates. อินทผลัม เที่ยง. 79 degrees. some sprinkles. exor. 250/100/100/250 = 700 79 degrees and sprinkling. cook. Dates, onions, bologna over rice that Pan cooked. Decent.Pan is sleeping in... I get worried but what can I do? If he is eating (I remind him) and taking his meds he should be okay, but I check on him to make sure he's still warm and breathing. ss&s. shop. 7/11. coke. PorP. "Loggia dei Lanzi (Firenze) 🇮🇹 [82] A4 40w 'pain'" walk. foto. chat. Short chat with Pear at Koala. She also owns Surada next to where I live. Coffee? ytBL. finished Home School ep. 16. (w.o. Eng sub) Almost at the end. Extremely disturbing. 79 dregrees at 00:11. Never got hot. Sprinkling. I made a big mistake today. I always make mistakes when I get frustrated. And then I may have made another. But... I decided to take a walk, a long lonely walk at night. That helped a bit.  3 สิงหาคม 2566  news. same-o same-o. face. bi-color waterlily. เที่ยง. 82 degrees  exor. 200/100/150/250 = 700. 82°F Damp, puddlelicious. 12:17-12:39 foto. วิดีโอ. swing. chat. David x 2 (re meds), Rick. bogs. Sonali/Phyllis/Tiggy and GreenWillow. blog. "Holding on, letting go, or never giving up. " walk. rose. shop. octopus, chicken, 2 potatoes. tv25. Home School. pôod. With Nan at new soup place. Pan 'woke up'. Unfortunately I feel like a wet noodle. He's chipper. I'm depressed. At least we both ate a little. He went... somewhere... called... seems happy. He cooked in the evening: chicken with malago, potato and egg.  2 สิงหาคม 2566  exor. 200/100/200/300 = 800. Fairly cool, damp, 79°F. Saw Tom. bogs. NormaJean/Annette/Lyn blog. "Green weepy day" เที่ยง. 81°F  PorP. "The path of sweets. 🇵🇹 [80] A2 'sweet' 40w" face. Incredibly quiet considering... posted pic. news. A five letter word used to bid in bridge was just indicted. walk. foto. my neighborhood. test. "Green ink" To Shadows&Light. "After oolong tea" To Intuey. shop. food. The important part was getting Pan out of bed and out to the market. Still not well. tv25. Home School. kinda. Thai. Close sounds... very good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxqXAev_ZZA Midnight. 80°F ![Merit Badge in Fantastic
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Congratulations on your 2nd place Win in [Link To Item #2002225] . Nice job *^*Delight*^* Hope to see you again! *^*Heart*^* Tracey](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Fantastic.gif) Fantastic To Angela W on fb re 'putting on clothes when leaving a locker room': "There may be a specific dress code. Some people think a thong and nipple covers = clothes. The tourists in Vang Vieng in Laos were scandalous. Totally disrespectful. Wanna go nude? There are beaches in your own country for that." Alfred Booth wrote on fb: "4:11 am Awakened by her light streaming through the window. She finally broke through the evening’s thick clouds" Something can be done with this image... just saying...  1 สิงหาคม 2566  ss&s. วิดีโอ. birdwing in flight. obsv. lots of walkers after sunset. season of falling spent leaves. foto. Nong Bua. walk. wat, Nong Bua, market. Felt weak coming back. shop. big blue jug for water. 199 baht; hold about 12 liters. exor. 300/200/200/300. Warm with sprinkles but after sunset. Doable. tv25. The Jungle. PorP. "Buda and Pest 🇭🇺 [79] A1 40w 'create'" Will use my travel blog.  pool. ytBL. Thai.Pan woke up okay but his first words irked me and then he got an attitude and was possibly depressed. I didn't have time for that today and he left and didn't come home. Finished last contest before midnight WdC time. Barely.  31 กรกฎาคม 2566 Odd dream in the sense it took me back in time to another place to a 'younger' me. Not a nightmare although foreboding and seductive. Cannot afford to get lost in dreams today. So much to do! Damp morning after overnight sprinkles.  bogs. Petra/Dave/Neva/Grace/Gale. I should comment less when I'm not 100% 'here'. news. เที่ยง. 86F 30C exor. 200/100/200/300 = 800. 86 degrees 12:06 ss&s. PorP. Finished with 40w. "Last day [74f.zm] 40w J19 'enthusiasm'" To Duchess Laughing Lemurs: "I need to finish writing for July contests...  I've decided I need to put on music until the thunderstorms roll in. I prefer the patter of rain... or silence; but, I can't totally control either (I share this place). To iguanamountain (Gale): "Belice?  I'm writing from Thailand. Hot and humid in July... what else is new! Hoping for rain.I think that like any new tool AI will have powerful uses and misuses. But, there's always the option of opting out. I started writing again in my hand-written journal and I pay with cash. I do use the internet but google has become so monetized as to be almost worthless. Hawthorne Mythos... I have written more Zmitri poems and I need to get back to my two vampire series. I find working on-line is different from paper. I can edit better on-line... if the chromebook and connection is working properly. I'm thinking of Debussy. Yeah, background music. Hopefully it calms me down without lulling me into a dreamy neverland called sleep." test. Fantasy: "Playing hide-and-seek" WDC: "Not your problem" Senior: "To fly [year162.ff] (296w)" Fogg: "Nightwings" shop. ramen. water jug. money.Met Pan on the way. I gave him my umbrella. It's now a downpour. Did he think of that? I doubt it! He believes in door-to-door service so I'll be surprised if he walks. His problem. I need to focus! 19:10... no Pan. It stopped but will it start again? In looking over contests I have to remember which I must enter and which I can let slide. tv25. The Jungle ... only part. Pan was ill. ![Merit Badge in Be Romantic
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(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-written journal) = jour. 30 กรกฎาคม 2566 jour. Page 5387-5388. exor. 300/200/210/300 = 1010. Pan hugged me too tight = bruised ribs. obsv. two birds with long tails (drongos?), yellow flash of a birdwing, b&w butterfly, sprinkles. PorP. "Alien in Aisle Eleven! [180.75] 8-lines " "Glacier [74e.zm] 39w J18 'emotion'" "Last day [74f.zm] 40w J19 'enthusiasm'" เที่ยง. Mostly cloudy 87°F 31°C. Sultry. ss&s. blog. "Fanged in the Summer Heat" ytBL. Home School ep. 16 first half. pool. I couldn't cross it 4 times...  tv25. Hidden Agenda... yet another silly BL. walk.I had to update chrome. So far... ts'okay. Pan is preparing supper and I'm chilling for a moment. He doesn't want me to go swimming because it's sprinkling... if it were thundering/lightning I'd understand; but, he's also not 100% and has offered to watch over me whilst I practice. I won't go in alone. In fact... other than walking I'd rather not do anything alone. Age has caught up with me and I just have to be flexible and kind to myself.  29 กรกฎาคม 2566Grey start to the day. 79 degrees and damp. The beginning of a week with rain. 89/77 forecast for the week; better than glaring sun and 90s. Doors are open except for the bedroom with the a/c on. I was able to adjust the a/c last week and this is much better but cool air blowing on me isn't good and my mouth dries out. The normal daily steam-bath is better for my skin and as long as I don't exert myself or stand out in the sun I'm okay. Life is a tad boring at the moment. I do my routines and I'm writing a tad more; but, my mind wanders, and that's not always good. Woke up to a familiar nightmare this morning. Soooo... not good. PorP. "Playing hide-and-seek" private, needs editing. "Morning glories [73d.zm] 39w J17 'grow'" bogs. Stik/Judith/Harlow exor. 400/200/200/400 = 1.200; 11:00-11:26 79 degrees. obsv. yellow leaves, few flitters, breeze, puddles, sprinkles, fairly quiet, slippery; white trumpets sag, their crenulated finery transparent after the rain, leaf fall, flower fall, after the rainfall, I slide across the slippery pavement. news. Nothing new. เที่ยง. 82 degrees I ate coconut curry, mushrooms, glass noodles over rice (very good) but had to lay down. I'm exhausted. ss&s. face. blog. "Dutch raspberries? " walk. shop. cocoa, sweet. pool. short; Pan not well. tv25. Enigma. ep. 3 Common ep.6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSgKDw8kjhY 28 กรกฎาคม 2566 exor. 300/200/200/300 = 1.000 About 84 degrees and this morning. Too hot when the sun's out. ss&s. face. photo of Birdy coffee, market cat. PorP. "Dragon and Rat. [73c.zm] 40w J16. 'face'" เที่ยง. 88 overcast degrees with a breeze. Thai. routines ep 1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab-7F54b0dQ&t=29s ...useful & delightful. bogs. Nikola/Annette/Whirls blog. "Navy blue day, Zmitri, not baby-blue, Bunny." Muse. 2125220 Prompt 1. They were traveling the peaceful seas, Zmitri but the fire in my stomach — and the ice in your craw, began to rumble as the waters began to churn. Those who survived our tantrum spoke of mythical creatures at the edge of a flat earth. But it was never flat, was it? And when the molten core meets the leaden skies the waters cannot calm Earth's inner torment, nor ours. I wanted you; you wanted... anyone else. I needed your ice to put out my flame. The seething seas were not amused. Was I to blame? Orion witnessed this wondrous event and invited us to join him Among the Plieides we found a new home, stirring up the cosmos, still ice and fire amusing each other in the chase. 2295490 Prompt 1. Urban fantasy. The jacaranda was swaying aloft. Nothing to note at this time of year. One flower fluttered to the pavement where Ping picked it up. He smiled until it turned bled purple and left a mark on his palm. Something to note. He went to the nearest washroom to his hands and glanced in the mirror. The pale image wavering back glowed an odd shade of indigo, turning a deeper purple, before he blacked out. news. In one word... T***P... again. In two words? Typhoon Doksuri lands in China. Thailand? H.M. King Maha Vajiralongkorn birthday. walk. on the other (east) side of the tracks. foto. shop. banana, malago, onion. pool. the pool is about 10m wide and I was able to cross it twice without problems. tv25. Be My Favorite. Script is complex, w.o. subtitles I get lost, but the acting is good. ytBL. Home School ep. 15. Extremely disturbing. No light in the darkness. It will get worse... 27 กรกฎาคม 2566"All is not lost" a prompt from Chicago for "The One-Line Lyric Challenge" by Anni Pon  exor. 200/100/100/300 = 700 very warm. Finished late. ss&s. Note: I have no energy, physically nor mentally. I'm sucking on fumes. bogs. Annette/AnniPon/Tracker blog. "Rethinking routines... too much, too little, distracting? " Mostly sunny, breezy 34°C 94°F at 14:00. PorP. "Distortion [73b.zm] 38w 'image' J15" ytBL. AiLongNhai https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u67yutflQU Thai. eat (review) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiR6ErzltdM walk. foto. วิดีโอ. Chinese Cultural Center. shop. ice cream, mushrooms rose. old rose news. face. photo of Pan. tv25. Home School. pool. Pan had a stomach ache.Overly warm day. May be why I didn't feel perky. Anywho... I took it easy. 26 กรกฎาคม 2566 exor. 200/100/150/250 = 700 (swing,sway,swirl,cycle); 81 degrees at 11:01. เที่ยง. 30°C 86°F; Precipitation: 4%; Humidity: 77%; Wind: 8 km/h. Afternoon should be sunny. bogs. Shar/Smee/DaveRyan blog. "p.o.v. of moles, birds, butterflies; girdles and book covers" ss&s. PorP. "Love bugs [73a.zm] 'love' 40w" Muse. shop. Eggs! Not quite a walk though. pool. tv25. Home School.The ants act excited, it's a cotton-puff day. It's their last, but they don't know it. I zig-zag the chalk that will shorten their lives; and, ask myself, what will lengthen mine? It's ninety degrees and I wilt as the taro fields look weary. But the ants seem excited. Am I jealous of their ignorance. Am I too spent to care? Pannya is having a 'rest day'. It's warm but breezy with the windows and doors open. I'm just practicing breathing. I've been short-of-breath and I don't know what will help with that. I've mentioned this to Pannya as it's important when I'm trying to swim. I could go farther if I could hold more breath. I also panic. But I am getting better in the water. Time to get a mask (and eye goggles) and ask everyone as someone might know a solution. When I have had enough I sit in the shallow kid's section and practice floating, breathing or just relaxing looking up at the stars. The pool is good for my skin, in spite of the chlorine. My feet are looking much better. A nice warm "bath"... does things for me that a hot shower can't. Pannya wants to swim at 7 p.m. That's a good hour... most days. I must say that my routines are helping me emotionally, physically and otherwise. I should tweak them but frankly? I'm a tweaker, so I needn't worry. My list gets longer or shorter depending on my mood and circumstances. Some days I'm just doggy-paddling. And that's okay. They damned me to hell, never asking me whether that's where I wanted to go. They said I could be saved by ritual and confessions of faith; but, rituals are mere motion if not backed by belief, and confessions would expose my secrets. My mother kept the secrets and I feared her reality more than mere man-made fiction.  25 กรกฎาคม 2566 exor. 500/250/250/500 = 1.500 Yes, I can do this but 1.200 is a better level for now. ss&s. face. photo of flower. news. privilege is not being charged for posting illicit photos, MTG... เที่ยง. 86F 30C degrees. bogs. Intuey/Elle/Robert blog. "Cars, ADS, BLs, Mercury and Me." PorP. "A Republic... if you can keep it. [72] J13 39w 'democracy'" wash. Pan does a big wash. Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITcORbfjYAU How to use "bàeb(แบบ) & yàang(อย่าง)" walk. pizza with David. chat. pool. tv25. "Jungle"  24 กรกฎาคม 2566 exor. 400-200-200-400. 09:39 75 degrees. obsv. Girl playing, squad of butterflies, hummer-moth, spent white trumpets (last night's rain) katydid, last orange flowers aloft, a breeze, sun peeking in-and-out. ss&s. เที่ยง. 87°F 31°C; Precipitation: 61% chance... hopefully it'll rain; Humidity: 71%; Wind: 5 mph. PorP. "Miss Martha Louise [71] J12 40w 'root'" walk. chat. bogs. Neil/Intuey/Sara news. face. ytBL. Home School ep. 14 "Revenge" pool. s.o.b. spent time in the wading pool. Not a good day. tv25. The Jungle. Dark, seems shallow. May be worth watching for the actors in new roles.Forty forty FORTY 07/24/2023-'root' Martha Root traveled the world, toting hat boxes and luggage to meet Queen Marie of Romania. She was rootless but not ruthless. She was a champion of a cause. 07/25/2023-'democracy' You voted? Nah... Why? Why bother? They're coming for your brother you know. Take him. And they have eyes on your sister. Let them. 07/26/2023-'love' I beckon your lips. I caress your hips. What do butterflies know of love beyond the sip of nectar, Zmitri? Do they share kisses or embrace in a hug? Are they merely bugs... 07/27/2023-'image' A breeze ripples the water, distorts the reflection of the lily. Your voice echoes in my mind and your image wavers with lost time. Zmitri, I miss you. 07/28/2023-'face' On the face of it, I've faded, Zmitri. The fire in my belly has become a dying ember. But I'm still a Dragon in love with a Rat. Fire in love with Water. 07/29/2023-'grow' Intertwined the vines grow together reaching new heights, ropes turning leaves to the distant sun, flowers nourishing bees. And what of these? Two lovers hugging Zmitri? It should be you and me. 07/30/2023-'emotion' Your cool depths betray no emotion. Your surface remains un-rippled. I would drop a pebble into your frozen puddle, Zmitri, to let you know that I've visited. 07/31/2023-'enthusiasm' Galaxies swirl in a dance, suns mere eddies on the stream of cosmic consciousness, the rock we sleep on provides respite from the never-ending enthusiasm engulfing us. Rest, Zmitri, tomorrow I leave. |
| (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. 23 กรกฎาคม 2566 exor. 400-200-200-400. 10:01-10:29 77-82 degrees. QotD. A list of 5 from least to worst: 5. Having a gun (real or fake... never knew) put to my head. I was cool and collected. 4. Being forced to drive to the border (I stopped at the precinct instead). I was mindful and focused. 3. Waking up to someone in my room standing by my closet. I was screaming and hysterical. 2. Being caught in a riptide, Cahuita, 1974 whilst I was walking alone. I was terrified and panicked! 1. A couple events from my childhood I cannot remember. I still am frightened of heights/edges and despise birthday parties. Trauma is never what happens. It's how the body reacts. Being homeless triggered traumas and was traumatizing in itself. I have a whole list for that and other events. My high-anxiety and deep-depression stem from those. I'm actually doing much better these days. เที่ยง. 82 degrees ss&s. Put extra lotion on my nose and ear. Skin issues. bogs. Jennifer/Mouse/Elizabeth/Teresa Thai. Review of bpai/maa (go/come) PorP. "Duality [70] 40w J11 'unit'" ytBL. Home School ep. 13. The drama was intense. face. foto of lily. news.Re deSantis' Florida: "Another Reddit poster chimed in, “First, they will drive out the trans families and gay-accepting families. Next, they will drive out liberals and democrats. Next, they will drive out any minorities who are able to move away. Finally, when everything is just white, they’ll drown due to the climate change they don’t believe in.”" shop. rice, soap, greens pool. met Pookie, Pienneung pôod. a little. วิดีโอ. posted. tv25. "Hidden Agenda" seems to be just another rom-com."...or when you die even the worms will reject you." 22 กรกฎาคม 2566 Crash, boom, splash. It rained overnight. exor. 400/200/200/400 = 1.200 84 degrees 09:13-09:38. spoke to Tom. ss&s. bogs. Stik/Tim/Steph/Hooves/Petra jour. page 5384-5385. PorP. two in my journal and "Improper? [69] 39w J10 "improper"" เที่ยง. Hot. 91 degrees at 13:10. foto. Hour long photo session with Pan. He needs to understand that as a photographer I think of color, texture, composition, his placement (as an object), lighting... his wants/needs are secondary while I'm shooting. Otherwise, he's just wasting my time. He mostly cooperated and we may have taken over 100 photos; so, I hope he finds one he likes. face. news. blog. "Integration... of working, playing, staying" tv25. Enigma. pool. walk. shop. Ground chicken and pork.To Mary Martin Arnold on fb: "OMG... that is spot on! I remember Brandon... very violent alcoholic. In getting to know him I realised that drugs and alcohol were his meds. His severe depression was one of his main problems." 21 กรกฎาคม 2566 Hotter day today. 88 degrees going on 2 p.m. exor. 400/200/200/400 = 1.200 It would be nice to do this everyday. 77-81 degrees at 09:38. obsv. Stationary butterfly = pic. "Dreams of Butterflies"? Green roots of the orchid. Saw a huge 25 cm+ yellow black butterfly but wasn't ready to take video. When I was ready it was high up in a tree. Underside was bright yellow as was its body. I thought it was a bird at first. face. Posted butterfly pic. "Lime butterfly". news. Thailand... ss&s. Late.s.o.b. ... c.o.p. = short-of-breath ... change-of-position. bogs. Sonali/Tracker/Robert. walk. shop. soap, nam jim. PorP. "Mother sang solo [66] J9 40w "music"" pool. I swam a bit but short-of-breath. Need to work on endurance and breathing. tv25. Be My Favorite.I'm really worn out... again and again. Kissinger visits China at age 100. I'll be amazed if I last until 80. I'd like to... and certain choices on my part are helping. But, I'm just worn out. Moving to SiSaKet would be another yearlong commitment... possibly 4 years. I should write about "A difference a July makes". Last year was brutal and Bry and Angie helped get me through it. This year Pan is helping in ways he's prolly not aware of. I'm doing better, just super worn out. 20 กรกฎาคม 2566 bogs. Maravilla/JimD/NevaTo Neva: "The notion of letting my imagination ... follow the migration of my wandering muse speaks strongly to me." เที่ยง. 81 cloudy degrees. exor. 300/200/200/400 = 1.000 Not as tired today. Muse. Grey pall and the pity of it all, preying for rain like a lonely lion wanting showers to wash away the ennui, a daily refrain in Paradise, now paved and packaged. ss&s. Cut my toenails. face. Posted pic of "Ducky and the Dragon fruit".To Erasmus on spacehook: "Of course, one can do this anywhere. I was grateful for the clouds when I worked out this noon. I will be grateful for the rain this week. I'm grateful for rice, baloney, and raisins? Pan cooked for me this morning and the daily hugs and kisses. And today I seem to have control over my bodily functions... that's a nice power to have." news. "2 killed in New Zealand" Should we be scared for the Women's World Cup? Not! "Russia to deem Ukraine-bound ships 'potential carriers of military cargo' from Wednesday eve." A much bigger concern with global food repercussions. And then there's this crap: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-12-oldest-schools-in-oklahoma-have-aged-we... I want to know whether the author has ever been to Oklahoma and whether they have ever heard of the Cherokee Nation which opened schools in 1851. White-washing? Hard for me to say because the author seems to be faceless and could just as easily be sitting in NYC or Paris writing. Or even AI... just saying. PorP. "EttaJames "Something's Got a Hold on Me" [65]40wJ8 'culture'" Thai. wai mai = you okay? can I help? https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ln_s8TsKPLY walk. shop. Red rose for Pan, lotus for merit, fish, carrot, limes. pool. Water felt cold! But it's never below 75 at night... I'm feeling more confident every time. tv25. Home School #8 ytBL. AiLongNhai #2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJl-Lnhybh8Plah chon (snakehead) tastes really good with malago (green papaya). We could smell it coming down the hall after swimming. 19 กรกฎาคม 2566 Muse or Mojo? My Muse has been nibbling. I have no Mojo. exor. 200/100/100/250 = 650. I may rethink how I work out. It was 82 degree when I began after 10 and still 82 when I finished at 10:33. obsv. Weak... black/white flutterby. Spider hiding under the stationary bicycle. Gnats. A bit of sun. A bit of a breeze. Yesterday I took a photo of a branch peeking out under the bench. Today it's gone; the Grim-Shearers have been doing their job. Muse: Kindness, cruelty, the urge to criminalize, nitpickers. Dualists and their dueling gods, Salvationists, Kintsugi and embracing imperfections, Nitpickers and Perfectionists, Gatekeepers. Cruely and Punishment. To Judith: "The gnats were troublesome but saw a spider (there hides hope).""You can write the perfect essay but you'll never be an Emily D or James Joyce." Yes, spelling and punctuation have their place... behind the Muse and not blocking their creative vision. ss&s. wash. I washed out my black long sleeve undershirt... Should do this every day. BPbp. 138/77 pulse 67 at 11:11. food. Pan boiled eggs, peeled them then fried them in oil and added pork and greens. Served over white rice. foto. bogs. Nikola/Viv/Judith face. I checked in. I should check in every day but limit it. news. The same. Check in once per day but limit it. เที่ยง. 86 cloudy degrees. ytBL. อัยย์หลงไน๋ AiLongNhai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNiWCfKR-4w walk. Saw Vigo. shop. Lotus... mouthwash and bouillon cubes. pool. I actually 'swam' a bit without panicking. I'm making progress. tv25. Home School #7 and part of Wedding Plan The Series แผนการ (รัก) ร้ายของนายเจ้าบ่าว Thai. verb particles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7kJttNs9aM PorP. "David's a cold embrace [64] 40w J7 'value'" ![Merit Badge in Shadows and Light
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Peace be with you always!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Ahimsa=46_Peace_Always=46-2208069.gif) Ahimsa. Peace Always. 40 words: 07/19/2023-'value' Of what worth the comma? Confusion avoided. And they're, their, and there? Mere grammar. Just correct it. The object can be perfected; but David in marble is a cold embrace. Seek the imperfect among the living and know your worth. 07/20/2023-'culture' The petri dish seemed bland and boring until you arrived... 07/21/2023-'music' My mother loved singing harmony but never truly blended into society or either family. 07/22/2023-'improper' That would be my middle name or me when I'm riled up with rage from your abuse. You chuckle as I make a spectacle of myself. 07/23/2023-'unit' Duality: One. One. One. Zeros and ones. My number is very common but it loses its color, its sound, its flavor when reduced to units of zeros and ones. Call me humanity's better-half twin... if you can count that high. 38 |
| (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. 16 july exor. 100/50/100/250 = 500. It was 88 and hot at noon. Busy morning. ss&s. cook. Rice with squid and pork. wash. Pan did a big wash. PorP. "Count me out [180.61] J4 40w" "Traveler, tourist, toad [180.60] " bogs. Mousethyme/Sara/Tracker pool. So thrilled. Light sprinkle. Important for Pan's health. walk. foto."Personally, I think each contest entry should be answered with a comment or a review. Any type of acknowledgement is encouraging. I renew here at WDC, now in my 18th year, because it was a virtual home when I had none. Writing is cathartic and I improved over time; although, with age and circumstance, I'm now fading.' I should always carry my notebook. I was in the pool when my Muse spoke about sparrows and sorrows. No memory now. Went to BK in search of the all cheese 'burger'. Maybe elsewhere... not here. 15 july bogs. NormaJean/MightyJen/Lyn exor. 300/100/200/400 = 1.000 = very good. 88 breezy degrees at 11:11. obsv. pesky flies, scarce butterflies and birds, semi-cloudy, breezy, 'not hot', twitter, but generally hushed. I change position, speed, direction on the 4 station exercise spot by Tower B. I do 'units' of 20, 40, or 50. Today went well. I would like to sustain this level every morning. ytBL. Homeschool ep. 12 ss&s. mess. progress. shop. chicken and squid, coffee, Milo. Plastic bowl. walk. chat. David. tv25. Enigma... very very very dark. PorP. "Lessons to learn [180.59] J3 38w" Thai. Bpai/ma https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQ6HbV0ZoRoPan is home. 7 hour or more bus ride. He ate a little... sleeps. it's 22:11 and we have the a/c on. I sketched a 'personal essay'. "Traveler, tourist, toad [180.60] " I'll need to edit by 11 a.m. ICT and post to Petra's contest. It is what it is. It was worth an hour of musing. It's 23:24 and the rumble of thunder surrounds me as Pan gently snores. 80°F 27°C and sprinkles at midnight. 14 juillet  bogs. Nikola/Phyllis/Carloyn/Robert exor. 250/100/100/250 = 700 It was 88 degrees or so at 10:20. Saw Tom and fledgling mynas. cook. Rice with carrot, papaya, greens, garlic, eggs and flavor cubes. Took all day but I ate it all. walk. foto. chat. Rick ss&s. Even though Pan isn't here. PorP. posted "From the window [66]" to contest. ytBL. Homeschool #11.To Nikola on Newsfeed: Nice assortment of animals. Not everyone can get to a zoo or refuge so it's great that there are outreach programs. Children need to connect with the diverse world around them. Books and videos can help connect, but actual presence matters, jmho. Glad you work in a place that allows/encourages this. To cappucine in her blog: Chicken: "Squawk". Poop. I have tried to eat less; but, Pan is concerned if I don't eat with him. I suspect it's a cultural insult, so I eat a little of something cheap and simple. He's out-of-town today so I made rice with carrot, papaya, greens, garlic and seasoning. We have pork but I wasn't in the mood. His work trip is buying second hand clothes and re-selling on social media. Lots of cheap clothes in Thailand. Lots of second hand clothes in Montana too. I'm not reading books these days. I've focused on learning language and culture. My writing has suffered but I'm not as depressed as I was 2 years ago." Is this Q? https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2023/07/sound-of-freedom-caviezel-ballard-tr... Pan mis-messaged me and I thught he was home. I video messaged back to confirm.. He says he comes home tomorrow. Yes, I miss him. 13 july exor. 200/100/100/200 = 600. 09:00 (not hot yet) Weighed myself. 80.0 kg. ss&s. walk. Added baht to my phone. Treated myself to an onion pastry. foto. tv25. Home School. bogs. Joy/Whirls PorP.Pan went to Ubon today. Got up early! Arrived around 3 p.m. He's shopping. This may be good. Splotch and Shelly. "Splotch hadn't eaten in three days. He nibbled on a toe, avoiding the nail polish. Shelly had always smelled good. She tasted good too. ... Found after wandering for two months, Splotch was skin and bones ... Ted and Letitia hugged him. He wagged his tail until he caught a glance of the half-empty nail polish bottle. It glared at him." 07/13/2023-'tiny' "So small, like glitter flittering between the flowers. Jojo sat in awe at how tiny flickers of light had gathered by the hundreds. The truck pushed them out of the way. But they gathered again. Safety in numbers. Hoards. He got up to join his friends. Edited in "Safety in numbers [180.57] 40w J1 "tiny"" I hope to get back into the daily routines. 12 days in Laos was a nice but expensive break. 07/14/2023-'high' High. Low. Hello? No. Hi? Lo! As in...? "Lo, the nightingale singeth upon the tree..." Oh... that Lo is... Not Lois, not a person named Lo. Oh, Lo is a bird? Nope. "Lo, the Nightingale of Paradise singeth upon the twigs of the Tree of Eternity, with holy and sweet melodies, proclaiming to the sincere ones the glad..." 07/15/2023-'lesson' What can I learn from you? You're sweet. You're kind. You're steam-rolled every day like a rug. I'm harsh. I'm self-centered. I'm a bulldozer. Yes. Need a hug? 07/16/2023-'count' Vampires only count the centuries. Single digits means you're still young. Are you a teenager yet? Look into my eyes and see my vast past... and the short path of your future. 07/17/2023-'myth' Myth Judith wuvs me; this I know. Her witchy friends on me bestow... the ground below my feet that grow, tendrils reaching towards the core, the raven croaking, nevermore. Midnight: 81°F 27°C; Precipitation: 6%; Humidity: 83%; Wind: 4 mph = a sultry tropical night. 12 july walk. exor. 200/50/50/200. Evening. trip. approx. 10:00 - 16:00 foto. post. Card sent to Gary from Luang Prabang.Not enough sleep last night. Drowsy. 2 hour train trip Luang Prabang >> Vientiane was brilliant and comfortable. We caught the bus directly to the border (20.000 kip). No problem at the border. My new visa expires August 10. I'm worn out. Pan cooked but I have no appetite. Rained. Very gusty and refreshing. Did a short workout. Not much else. Word: psithurism... wind in the trees. 11 july WDC: "So many choices; but, let's start with bread. The smell of fresh baked bread reminds me of my grandmother and I'm 7 again. It brings me happiness. I like a crisp crust, a doughy inside, a sweet rye (think Swedish limpa), the thin flatness of lavash, the thicker pita. Add some raisins and cinnamon. What does bread feel like? Soft. If it's hard as a rock it's good for dipping; if it's croutons ... soup; crumbs ... stuffing. Add corn, rice, oats, rye... why not. What does it sound like? A crunch, a child begging, a scream when the ants have found it, a thud when it falls on the floor. How does it move? It has the wings of a raven or the legs of a hungry mutt. And it floats until the ducks or goldfish eye it." I should've added: sweet, sour, spicy, cardboard... It's a sky blue day as Pannya and I are wearing semi-matching light-blue shirts. We went to an old wat. This made Pan happy. Took fotos and video. 20k entry/each. walk. foto. วิดีโอ.Paid for an extra night in Luang Prabang. We both like it. An Austrian mentioned that it reminds him of Graz. I've been to Graz... I see what he means: river, old town, hill. Graz is European but so is Luang Prabang. A mix of Lao and French culture with more recent Vietnamese. European and Chinese tourists. Walkable. Beautiful. Vibrant. 10 july Went to the waterfalls. Long winding trip by mini-van. 250k total for two. Met Wong TianYu from Giulin, China. I went in the water. Very nice but cold and the slippery rocks created problems for me while the fish nibbled. Met a woman from Gent, Belgium, a couple Australians from Sydney, a 21 year old man from Wien who has worked as a volunteer in Viet Nam and Guatemala (I was impressed). Pannya loved the waterfalls and the pools. Keeping him happy is a priority of mine. We are having problems communicating. Long walk in the evening through the wonderful night market. walk. foto. ytBL. chat. pool. trip. วิดีโอ. |
| (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to travelers/strangers in European) = chat. 9 juillet 2023 Morning. At least I slept well. At 08:12: 81°F 27°C; Precipitation: 14% chance; Humidity: 89%; Wind: 0 mph. So: calm, humid, warm, some sun. At 20:24: 82°F 28°C; Precipitation: 4% chance; Humidity: 82%; Wind: 0 mph. walk. I couldn't go up the hill. 300+ steps? foto. Pan took some for me. wash. Cost 120.000 kip. More expensive than Udon or Missoula. Didn't get much done because I was tired and Pan napped for hours. Saw Germans we met at Vang Vieng. 8 juillet 2023 Heavy rain overnight but cleared by the time we took the train. Lovely views when we weren't in a tunnel. There shortly after noon. Shuttle to town was 35k kip. Went to wrong Jasmine, but it was close, 5 minutes. Unfortunately, water issue. Canceled and reserved at Noknoy instead, which was 2 minutes away on foot. Wonderful part of town with charming alleys, markets, view of Mekong. Still sick but getting better. Very difficult evening. trip. To Luang Prabang. Uneventful. shop. Bought "lantern". walk. night markets.7 juillet 2023 7/7 is fine as long as I don't think about 1977 or 2003. foto. trip. Went to Angel Cave with Pannya. He's happy. About 745 baht.Electricity went out in the morning. We relax in the a/c after our cave walk. Sunny, hot day. Paid for 5 nights and train tickets to Luang Prabang. Bus is slow and treacherous; slow train is fast. 6 juillet 2023 Hot day. 88 at 16:00. Funeral today. Did stop by. There were hundreds wearing white. I'm still sick. walk. foto. Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6qn5JvH8uQ bogs. Grace/Neil/SonaliTo huser:innerlight (Grace) in "Entry July 5 2023" :The a/c is on and we're barely moving. I've been ill for 3 days. Details? Not a good way to lose weight. I'm blessed to be able to breathe the moist air. I prefer Rainy Season to Smoke Season (I'm in Laos). To huser:neilfury (Neil) in "Replacing Internal Chaos with Peace" : "Slow. My travel is slow this week. Day 6 in Laos. Sick for 3 days. Pannya wants to do things but Laos is more expensive than Thailand and right now I can't join him. We did get to a funeral today. Two among hundreds. The heat didn't help. I keep my place in Montana... just in case. My rent in Udon Thani is paid through November. So much for me to consider but today I'm not up for much of anything. Slow is okay for anyone. At my age there are days I'm perky... other days "slow" is as good as it gets." To huser:eager2write (Elizabeth): "I'm disconnected from my "former" life. Nostalgia just saddens me. I tended to be withdrawn and not 'present' so these memories are foggy and a bit disturbing. I need to focus on the present but I'm ill today and Pannya is bored and disappointed. Hard to make new memories at the moment." To huser:mesonali (Sonali) in "July 5th Ugly" Yep. In Thailand it's skin-whitener. Pannya knows I don't care. I can only hope that that helps his self esteem. However; in this short-short, I think 'advanced' or 'becoming better' or 'becoming more civilized' may be stronger than 'civilized'. To Charlotte Holley on FB: My posts are photos I took. I usually add place, date and what-it-is. Not to prove anything to others... but to help me remember. Birds? Very hard for me to capture. Flowers? Easy, but the fake photos annoy me to the max. Food... don't get me started." 5 juillet 2023  27°C 81°F; Precipitation: 100%; Humidity: 95%; Wind: 3 mph. at 08:20.I'm still not well. Pan sleeps. I'll need to ask him about meds, whether he would like to stay here another day (we can), and whether we will venture out today. walk. chat. foto. วิดีโอ. Much later... still suffering so I decided I need to eat bread. Easier said than done. But owner gave me a loaf and I found some coconut cakes. Pan is always hungry but I was fine letting him go out alone after I told him what was wrong. I got wet but not soaked on my search for bread. It didn't rain as much as forecast. Pan checked prices of hot air ballooning and trip to lagoons... very expensive. To huser:soledad_moon (Stik) in "The Physicality of the Freeze Frame" "Nice. Your description brings the place and Dana alive. Of course... how old is Dana? Is she as old as my vampires? Some are a bit stiff. Dana seems limber. And, is she really just a photographer? Yes, I want to know more."To huser:eagertowrite (Elizabeth) in "My Fun Fourth of July" "I remember my uncle's birthday. He was born July 4, 1918. We'd go to the shanty which was surrounded by pines and had a pond (I know I was there when it was made). Fat burgers! My mother normally made skinny well-done burgers, but that side of the family preferred juicy, dripping, pink in the middle...July 4th wasn't always warm; but, we'd light a fire and we'd sleep on cots wrapped in blankets. Vague memories from long ago." To huser:elle (Elle) in "First week and a half of ADHD meds" : "It takes time... and even then meds oft-times need adjusting. Keeping track isn't silly though. The no-change list will probably get shorter. With work... can you tweak the hours? That would've worked wonders for me. My daily to-do list isn't being followed on this trip but I'm still more aware than before." 4 juillet 2023 walk. To Lilli: ควายพูดภาษาลาวไม่ค่อยเข้าใจ แต่ฉันมองเข้าไปในดวงตาคู่สวยคู่นั้นและไม่ก chat. I've been deprived. Today: Germans (4); Dutch (2): French (2) brother/sister from Marseille; L, age 23, from Scotland. foto. Pan, food, procession. วิดีโอ. 27°C 81°F at 14:32; Humidity: 95%; Wind: 6 km/hIt rained most of the day. Saw a procession; crossed a bridge and saw two hot air balloons; coughed when I got a whiff of chili. I have mixed emotions about Vang Vieng. It was a party city and that legacy is still evident in who comes here, what activities and foods are offered. It's a lovely setting but too touristy for me. I had diarrhea... no need for details, but it made the day difficult. ![Merit Badge in Encore! Encore!
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Congratulations on taking Second Place in Round 3 of [Link To Item #2293351] . Your opening line was amazing and haunting quite literally! Fantastic writing! *^*Heart*^* *^*Pencil*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Encore=33_Encore=33.gif) To huser:dunkelhetstern (Jessica) on fb: "Missing: instant coffee in a jar (Montana) or individual sachet (Thailand). What it says: 1. I'm cheap. 2. I'm practical. The Truth? I love Ethiopian freshly ground... but that isn't a daily reality." To huser:annette (Annette) in "WorldForge: Magic - Week 1" : "When I wrote Blood of the Garlic ages ago it was well grounded in the reality of a place (rural outside of Kansas City). The characters, mostly LDVs (V as in vampire), were also normal in most ways (except for their quirks, including longevity). I did this because I wanted a real world with real people, just a different version of reality. Because Twilight was the rage, I avoided any sparkling and werewolves were not mentioned. I also didn't write a horror story! Fantasy? Perhaps. Magic? Nope. If I were to go that direction in a future story I'd have to work on defining what magic means to me. In looking up the traditional meaning I'd really have to alter my personal belief system to make it work." To huser:joycag (Joy) in "Missings" : "I've missed a lot. Anxiety and depression will do that. A floating fear of making mistakes prevented me from taking risks. I still have no clue half the time what I'm missing.However, one's choices and mistakes do lead to growth... as you point out."  27 degrees at midnight. 3 juilliet 2023 "They strolled into the 7-11 in stunning purple spikes. And there you were, a frumpy 6, stuck behind the 8 ball, green with envy." Up and down to breakfast by 7 in the morning. Pan didn't eat much. I did, because I know he'll be hungry before 11 and the mini-van won't get into Vang Vieng until 2-ish. I plan. Pan just goes with the flow until his stomach grumbles... every other hour. Met Mr Noy from Luang Prabang this morning. He works in a restaurant, Khaiphaen, that trains "marginalized youth" and lives outside the city. It rained heavily overnight. Some thunder and lightning but mostly a downpour. I got up to bring hanging clothes in. A cloudy 26°C in Vientiane at 09:00. Hopefully the weather holds whilst we travel. But... rain forecast in Vang Vieng. To huser:cappucine (Carolyn) in "Benny Lava " : Well... I don't know whether this is fact or fiction! Regardless, it would be a great way to start a story. Whether this would turn into a romance, gothic horror (psychological mystery?) or Children's story about a cat-like cube would be up to you. To huser:stoland1999 in "Invalid Entry" : "I'm listening to the downpour in Vang Vieng while Pan snores beside me. We are on an adventure away from home. Home is Udon Thani. I write that to convince myself that that's the truth. Rain and snores. Ants in the coffee cup. Supper at Oh La La... yep. I'm a creative writer but this is more truth than anything I could ever make up. Part of me is still in Montana... and in Kansas... and in Costa Rica... and where I grew up. The emotional, physical, mental tolls? I'm a lot stronger than I ever thought I was." To huser:nfdarbe (Neva) in "On The First Sunday in July 2023" : "An evening downpour and Pan's soft snores. The noises of this tropical night in a river town guarded by limestone gumdrops. I'll skip the fireworks. I'm overly sensitive to loud noises, sharp noises, and unexpected booms. Ah... the trauma-gift... I do like the pretty colors though. I'm in Laos, and hoping my sojourn will be quiet. Trip. Went well and arrived on time. pôod. walk. With Pan. foto. ss&s. 7526 |
Seen:
Bard:
Hook:
I could see right straight through her, if I took my glasses off and squinted. Fogg:
Kitz:
One1:
Soul:
Maxs:
AbFb.
Prompt:
They strolled into the 7-11 in stunning purple spikes. And there you were, a frumpy 6, stuck behind the 8 ball, green with envy. July 3 The King tried to castle, but the Queen took him out at the knees before he could jump. July 14 Speck's tiny stomachs growled. He ran away from the demon and wove a web under the picnic table hoping to grab some crumbs. July 20 What brought us together in Mexico City's subway will keep us together forever. Super Glue is a curse. July 27 |
| (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. 2 juli 2023 I was up too late, now up too early. Back to nap. ytBL. Home School Ep.8 foto. เที่ยง. 30°C. Sticky. May rain tonight for 3 days. Thai. Jai https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfJCsPR3llM walk. pôod. wash. Pan washed clothes by hand. Food here is expensive. 58.000 kip = 116 baht for a simple meal. Might not be so cranky but no breakfast because we got there after 08:30. Only toast, egg, cucumbers. Stressful day... my fault. Did meet an English couple from Manchester, Cheryl and Kevin. Trip to Vang Vieng straightened out. Bus at 11:30. 300 baht. Staying at Maylay for 3 nights as I figure adding a night will be fairly easy. Clue: buy a mocha at Amazon with baht. Get change in kip. Went to the night market and Pan made me eat (pork-rice balls? very good). Met a couple from Kapstad, Suid Afrika, Karen and Johan?. 1 juli 2023 exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500. 82 degrees at 09:10. ss&s. ytBL. trip. Took about 3 hours to get to our hotel. Much nicer room than last time. bogs. Mighty/Chy/Robert walk. foto.I will eat. I will finish packing. I will... put on clothes. Goal is out of here around noon. Getting to hotel in Vientiane by 2 or 3 will be fine. My routines will basically be broken for this trip. To huser:missbusta07 (Mighty) in "it's friday, i'm in love" :I usually wear the color-of-the-day. It really helps me know what day it is. However, today is a purple day and I'm wearing dull orange and tan. I love cashmere. I'm happy with good clothes if I can get them second hand. I actually did a short workout this morning before going to Laos. My routines will be disrupted for 10 days or so. I weigh 81 kg. My goal is 75. But... I shouldn't care too much; losing weight slowly would be best. To huser:amalthea (Chy) in "Never get put back together" : "Reached a couple June goals, canceled a couple others. Finishing on time has been a life-long struggle. Knowing when and where to cut (my loses)... priceless. To {huser:cathartes02 (Robert) in "Moonshine" "The Moon is made of cheese... specifically government issued orange processed cheese. The cheese was sent there to keep it frozen until needed by the aliens who invented it. They then left for one of the dark moons of Jupiter but haven't made it back yet. They will be back though... just you wait and see. In actuality they orbit around a common point... me!" 30 juni 2023 "Tourist, Traveler, and the Toad" Thinking of "Writing 4 Kids" Mole: I see what I see if it's right in front of me. If it's daylight. You don't need to leave the light on. I can sniff my own way in the dark. To huser:wiesblaize (Petra) in entry:1051800 "I have to exercise and walk every day. Easy in the 6 condo towers. We have a small 4 station workout place outdoors, an indoor exercise room (that I don't use). We also have 3 pools. I put swimming on my to-do list. I have been afraid of water since I was a child; so, this is good for me. I remember seeing the ocean for the first time when I was 21. I remember the blackness, the stars, the Southern Cross and the terrifying immensity of it all." To huser:intuey in entry:1051822 "My life has changed drastically in the past year. I had this crazy idea of traveling around Thailand... but I ended up in a condo and a relationship. Both totally unlike me. I even work out each day and go swimming. I've been allergic to any notion of taking care of myself in the past. I live in small places. I'm a depressed clutterer who can't get rid of anything. A small places puts limits on my insanity. Entering contests is one way to restart the writing-engine." To huser:annipon re "Turning blue in June" "I vote for the Pomegranate. Ancient symbol for many things.I absolutely don't do resorts. If I did I don't know whether I'd join in with people or hide. The neuro-science gathering seems promising. NaNoWriMo can wait for a different month... maybe October? Choose one that will allow you to focus without too many interruptions... one with 35 days is best. Montana Smoke Season is brutal (especially if there are 'controlled' fires in Idaho). Smoke in Isan started in February and lasted through April in Thailand (due to a government mistake and lack of ASEAN regional cooperation). I love Rain Season. I do not like SADD (both summer and winter for me)." "I like the beginning of Spring and Autumn. Growing up, summer was too hot for me; winter too dreary. In the tropics (Thailand 16 degrees N; Costa Rica 9 degrees N) the end of Cold Season is Hot! Hot and dry and smoky and may be great at a beach but not for me. The rains are a godsend; but by the end... the grey skies and deluge is a tad too much. In both places that would be March-April and September-October... kinda... sorta... I'd rather be in Montana during those months; but, reality has fangs and bites.  I can get a arctic-summer-high. However, that's not good for my balance either. I had to be careful visiting Norway in summer and winter." exor. 200/70/100/230 = 600. 84 degrees at 09:20. ss&s. wash. Hopefully most is dry by tomorrow morning. bogs. Anni/Petra/Intuey. TODAY'S FOCUS MUST BE ON TRIP. เที่ยง. 91°F 33°C; Humidity: 67%; Wind: 5 km/h foto. วิดีโอ. Chiang Rai Exibition. tv25. Be MY Favorite trip. Hotel reserved. Partially packed. Have money (dollars, baht, card). ytBL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHV3DdOMFnkFinished with Bard's blog contest. 27°C at 11 p.m. Very stressful day. Partially packed as Pan folded my clothes. He didn't have a meltdown even though I did. His meds must be working! Reserved 2 nights in Vientiane. Same hotel but better room. About 1,110 baht ($30). We made this run in March so it's easier the second time. 29 juni 2023 Not well this morning. I slept okay but I'm still sleepy at 10 a.m. My anxiety is 'killing me' which is usual but never welcomed. exor. 200/50/100/300 = 650. ss&s. pôod. Saw Tom. My confidence builds even if my vocabulary lags. 86 degrees bogs. Sharon(fb)/Elycia/Harlow Thai. formal/informal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pdKXDVEhnc walk. foto. Exhibition. pool. Water was warmer and less chlorinated.  tv25. Home School. 82 degrees at midnight isn't good... just saying...To huser:cloud9 (Sharon West) on fb: "You are totally mould-less or is that moldless ... apparently neither word exists but you certainly do! What it isn't is zippity-do-da Doris Day (loved her by-the-way) but maybe it's a croon... a very dark moaning croon? I dunno. I don't understand genres in general (too restrictive imho) and molds don't suit me well. Choice of black/white works well." To huser:brontosaurus (Elycia) entry:1051693: "It seems like a peaceful flow... do you manage this? I'm more of a rabbit... running from task to task, but like a turtle... slow, slow... slower. I make lists in my "garbage can a.k.a. dumpster" blog to keep track and remind me. It works most days. I do tend to start with a brief workout, mostly because it's too hot after 10! I wear sweat pants and a long shirt (Thai flies are pesky and mosquitoes are mean). Speaking/listening/learning Thai is another daily check-off. Walking is crucial but swimming has been more sporadic as I won't go in alone (don't like water). Reading? I try to read 3 blogs/day. Writing? Depends... I have to make a visa-run and considered Malaysia. Flight or train to Hat Yai... cross to Padang Besar... easy peasy; but, I'm too stressed to do it at the last minute. Train is 33 hours from Udon! Perhaps in August. huser:wolfgang (David) entry:1051774 "Are you saying I can see-or-skip "Asteroid City"? May I assume one lives inside the asteroid? Imagine a hundred asteroid cities with inter-asteroid connections. Sounds interesting to me. "Islands in the Sky?" Or is that applicable to cloud-ships sailing the mists of Venus? The Goddess needs to have a one-on-one chat with Charles and Cindy. I sometimes challenge comments, but try not to belittle the commenter. Hopefully the God of Sodom-and-Gomorrah isn't filling-in for Her that day." Pan looked good today and we may have resolved my travel issues. 28 juni 2023 Anxiety soars. Decisions have not been made. I MUST leave by July 1st. There are no 'stay' options. Laos, Cambodia and Malaysia are my choices at this point. Also... 1. I leave for 10 days, come back, renew around August 9th (must be a week-day) and leave as planned on September 8th (checked date, plane leaves at 01:00 so I'll need to be in Krungthep on 7th). Dates are specific and must be rechecked as a tourist visa is for exactly 30 days so August 9 = 1, August 31 = 23, September 1 = 24, September 8 = 31. But... I'll officially leave on 7th. Still, very tight. 2. I leave for a total of 10+ days but in two segments. A. come back around 8th, let's say; spend one month, leave around Aug. 5th, come back August 10th. Option A includes 1.900 baht renewal fee (easy-peasy) Option B must include 2 trips, visas, etc... Malaysia: plane/train; far but no visa fee; hotels cheap. Cambodia: bus or train; not as far; $30+ visa fee; hotels? Laos: bus; very close; $40 visa fee; hotels cheap but not as cheap as Thailand. Other thoughts: 1. Visit Elycia in Malaysia? Timing would be key. She's far busier than I am. 2. Holy Day in Battambang, Cambodia on July 9th. Holy Day 16-17 October may be better (two cheerful days, better weather). 3. Laos has embassy in Vientiane. I could try to get O-visa. I won't be in Phnom Penh or KL or if I am it won't be sufficient time. Laos would be best option for visa. I could visit Vang Vieng or go further north or south to Suvanaket. Important dates to remember in Thailand: Jul 28; Aug 1,2; Aug 12 (Mother's Day); Aug 14; Sep 24; Oct 13; Oct 23. These are important as government offices may not be open. A short border run now means a longer one later; a sufficiently long one means a short border run later or a renewal. This is trumping my writing and routines this morning. Very important to NEVER have visa or money issues when traveling. exor. 300/50/150/300 = 800. Would like to do this every day. 81 degrees at 09:15. obsv. puddle; sun and shade; cirrus, cumulus, con-trails, puffs; flutter of butterflies, large, medium, tiny; wet leaves glistening (yesterday's rain), 3 men with a loaded trolly; bird carrying a prize for its nest. ss&s. เที่ยง. 32°F 89°C; Humidity: 67%; Wind: 3 km/h. Thai. Body parts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3FxhwPWVm8 edit. "The Shallot" "While you were snoring" (and posted) walk. foto. Pan and wat. bogs. Sorji/Muzzy/Joy 29 degrees at 18:01. It wants to rain. Sprinkles earlier. pool. Water felt cold and chlorinated. Didn't stay in long. tv25. Homeshool Ep. 1 27°C 80°F and humid at midnight.Anxiety soaring. 303 Creative v. Elenis: A case of "White Woman's Tears". To huser:forgiveness (Sara) in entry:1051682 "Family. You have a life... and a family. Never underestimate those blessings. Games and books = a movie? For some reason I thought of the ancient movie "Tron". We keep rice and coffee in our place at all times... and eggs. So much one can do with rice. We walk to the nearby markets (street vendors, stalls, etc.). At my age I'm very very careful No lifting for me! I do a mini-workout every day when I'm home and walking is on my checklist. Use it or lose it! I don't know whether I've lost any more weight, but I don't seem to have gained any back... so that's good. " To huser:muzzy43: "Read a bunch of your short entries in your blog "That is perfectly normal... Maybe." . I like the randomness and flow. That said, I think that "Glen Beck is a UFO." poses a serious question and the idea of humans becoming pets isn't too far off base or too far off time-wise. But pets can and do control their 'masters'. Ask any cat willing to tell the truth."To huser:joycag (Joy) in entry:1051675 "Patchouli... the original Time Machine! We use rose a lot here; The smell of durian will make you run! But in Montana I love sandalwood and lavender and cook with herbs de Provence. I'm moody ... so perhaps I'm more affected than most folks. I don't have the allergies that many complain about. Wonder whether there's some sort of connection?" 27 juni 2023 exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500. 81 degrees at 09:54. Saw Tum. pôod.On the Newsfeed: Phyllis: I spend too much time in my mind. It's why walking and working out are daily goals. I used to garden... I'm considered 'intellectual' by some. They don't always mean that in a positive way. But in a world of boxes that bind, inhabited by bozos in blinders, I 'forget' that I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut. So... what could you note? 1. alliteration! 2. this is a response to a comment made in my blog entry of blog comments that I have responded to and further mused about [in] "Over-responding? Nah... *tries to hide*" . 3. It's short! I can be 'chatty'. 4. It's a bit introspective (I don't make enough time to contemplate my navel). 5. It's written and shared. That last point is key. Too many people have thoughts that they don't write down, refuse to edit (I edited to get that desired alliteration), don't think are good enough to post and then THEN put on private because they are frightened to share (sometimes with good reasons, but...). It's important to share your life. I've said this soooooo many times. "Your boring mundane 'unimportant' life is fuel for my poetry and prose." YOU INSPIRE ME! Consider finding an old diary from your great-great-gran... would you focus on correcting its grammar, be bored, shocked by the details, mock it before you threw it in the trash? Or would you treasure it? Imbibe and inhale it? Let it inspire you? Your silly thoughts and observations, your style of writing, your tears, anger, joy... are the treasures you share with all of us and the gold that future generations will mine. Specifically thinking of Sonali, Linda, Rachel, Jodi, and especially Bryan who practices this by sharing. I'd love to know the thoughts of a teacher, Carolyn, Steven. เที่ยง. 82 degrees and 'heavy'. To huser:LeJendpoet (Jen) re "So Much to Do" : "Advice can be used for bird-cage and litter-box lining... and can be as crappy as dog-diarrhea. So... I proceed with caution.1. You are aware that there's an issue. That's half the battle. 2. Your boss/friend/dog's-human-dad can help by insisting on work boundaries. 20 hours max? Over 2 days, 4 days, no more than 5 days (unless working 3 hours/every-day works for you like the routines of getting up and making breakfast...)? 3. There will always be too much to do. Let it go... let others... Your puppies (no matter the age) will thank you. "To Jen on the Newsfeed: "My anxiety is rising. I'd rather just stay home for the next two months. But... my butt needs to leave Thailand (for a new visa) for a day or two or maybe even ten. I don't want to. It may be a lesser known footnote of the Rule of Entropy (movement = life) versus Frictional Facts (this place feels like velcro)."To Margi (on pookfaze): "It's an issue in Thailand where 'working hard' doesn't matter. Who your daddy is = success regardless, because nothing else matters. There are other issues like colorism (whitening is a big issue here as it is in most of Asia, but in Thailand those with European or Chinese blood have naturally lighter skin and therefore... ) . I grew up in this type of environment totally unaware that there was a ceiling. Thais are aware and most don't bother banging their heads." To Elle in "Invalid Entry" : "It takes time for medications to even out. Glad you are happy to be on them in the meantime.Pan has severe medications and a diagnosis that would be greatly concerning if I wasn't already familiar with it in other friends. That said, he had a major breakthrough a couple days ago after a scary moment. He ADMITTED that he has severe issues, has to take his meds, that the side-affects are lada lada lada. His body needs to adjust. In his case he wants/needs to sleep... like 16 hours/day. So... he struggles and I struggle with his struggles. My own struggles? At my age I work around them; although, I'm not sleeping well and my anger-issues flare up at inopportune moments." bogs. Jen/Elle/Margi(fb). foto. ขนมจีน (noodles) Thai. Homophones (funny, useful): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmZCyT5qPs8 ss&s. late... better than never... walk. stalls up around 3 p.m. chicken with cheese. foto. cat, noodles. วิดีโอ. rain at 5 pm. ytBL. Move to Heaven 'สู่สุขติ' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cltQ4U-G_BE PorP. "The view from the swing had always been lonely, except on Tuesday afternoons when the ghosts gathered to join his vigil. "Hook of the Book" and I think I've finished this ovi that I began on the 15th: "Ovi for Pan [180.56]" Midnight: 78°F 26°C; Humidity: 95% Wind: 3 km/h. 26 juni 2023 exor. 200/50/50/300 = 600. 71 degrees at 09:24 in sprinkles To huser:mousethyme (Mouse) re "Invalid Entry" : "A Room of Your Own. Yes, you are right to be grateful as you know the alternatives. I was thrilled when my disability went through and I could rent a place with a roommate, and then when I moved into my own place. Now I share... but that is my choice. So much is about options. The rest? Details. But I don't find the mundane blah-blah-blah boring. Writing? Yeah, scratch those notes down. Make a pile of them separate from the other piles (trust me on this). " re "Invalid Entry" "Not all "laziness" is just being lazy. I'm low energy. I get easily over-whelmed. Other people's expectations seldom make me do anything. If I'm not motivated it's hard. I have made writing goals and objectives before; but at the moment, I'm focused on Thai language and culture and "working out". And next week I travel. Yes, I scratch down notes. Yes, I write. But the "big" items will have to wait. To huser:pwheeler (Phyllis) re "Earthships - America's Off-Grid Desert Community" : "I don't believe in separate self-sufficient units. Yes, I think it's a good idea but off-the-grid a waste of resources imho... as are HOAs, gated communities, same-age, same sexuality, no-children, same religion, same ethnicity... The idea of recycling is great. But... there are plenty of homes in Michigan, Indiana and elsewhere that could be recycled and already have the infra-structure like roads and utilities. If these units were connected, grouped, close to markets, etc. I'd be more inclined to support them. They will remain the play-things of the wealthy, the paranoid (afraid of people), xenophobes, or the lovers-of-tech geeks. As a unit they may be sustainable and the experiment is laudable; but, it's not an open inclusive community." To huser:soledad_moon (Stik) re "Autist Behind the Wheel" : Many transit issues are cultural. In this condo people use the elevator and not the stairs. Sometimes they choose to wait for the next trip. Oft times they turn their back, and rarely exchange a word. In Japan people walk crowded streets and ride crowded trains, never intentionally touching. Privacy is coped with in different ways. Over-stimulation? It's a societal norm to not make noise on public transport. Americans tend to be more gregarious and self-centered. Americans have this image of dirty dangerous subway systems perpetuated by the media and sensational stories they consume. Sorry, Americans... Taipei and Bangkok have reliable, quick, and clean MRTs. Mexico City subways may not be new or clean but they go most everywhere. None of these systems are expensive either. The poor can and do use them; but then, poverty isn't considered a disease everywhere in the world. The Asians I've met (in Taiwan, Thailand, Japan, with a sprinkling of visitors from elsewhere) may want money, may want to be rich, (may even look down on the poor), but they don't treat the poor as poorly as Americans do. Their cities are livable and transportation is available. Is this 100% true? Of course not! I don't live in the Land of Absolutes. In Udon Thani, people don't walk. Some Europeans do (Americans don't either). But... there are 7/11s at every corner (or so it seems) and food stalls everywhere and multiple options of transport. But... people don't use public transport either. Tuk-tuks (skylab here), taxis (car and moto), private (Grab is our Uber). It's literally dangerous to walk and there's NO accommodation of mobility disable people. Apparently this is true to a greater or lesser extent throughout Thailand. Taiwan and Japan are much more advanced. Me and a car? I didn't drive until I had to learn in Kansas. I was 23. I prefer stick shift. I can zone out so I have to be careful. But I hate traffic! I love the open road, especially if I'm the only one on it. Nowadays? I prefer to stay and live in places within walking distance of my needs. I don't want to be in a cabin light-years away from humanity. I can survive in urban environments like this huge 14 story, 6 tower condominium complex. It's called a door. As to the thrust of your arguments... autism is a factor as are other personal physical and mental barriers and need to be considered. However, most people have legs and most can use them. Car-first have left many behind and further impoverished poor people. Segregation and disruption of neighborhoods and lack of investment in small businesses have gutted cities. The American dream of having three freezers (like Armageddon-Preppers), a three car garage, gated and fenced HOAs... leads to inequities ignored by the Keeping-up-with-the Jones's crowd. I put people first over personal preferences. Needs over wants. I reject the marketing notion (fallacy?) that there isn't enough for everyone. And this affects my attitude to urban design including transportation. In spite of a culture of looking out for family and friends, making merit by giving monks and beggars food or coins, general kindness (or at least the avoidance of conflict), here in Thailand there's a real issue concerning who is human. Cars are driven by humans. Animals walk. Cars have priority over animals. 'Nuff said. เที่ยง. 81 degrees at 12:14. wash. All hung up. bogs. Stik/Phyllis/Mouse Thai. this&that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruhK1IGlncATo Steven on the Newsfeed "Note: Look, the USA seems to have some fine people in it...": "It's a cultural-political game. Americans have centuries of erasing people (Australia is a relative newcomer). The White Christo-Fascist movement is ascendant and teachers have every right to be concerned. Tradition, preserving our culture, pedophilia, pornographic... all code words meant to cast aspersion and demean others not like them. Destroying a tolerant multi-cultural society is the ultimate goal. It's an inquisition. No one is safe from finger-pointing. Truth doesn't matter because they Know The Truth (theirs). The proponents are focused and powerful. Opponents aren't sure how to stop it. The courts have supported the notion of allowing a theocracy under the guise of the so-called democracy. Human Rights are being attacked. Can we all get along? We can but obviously choose not to. First the Insurrection, then the Inquisition, ultimately ... Amerikkka Uber Alles. And yes, that is offensive to many. But I'm tired of apathy (it can't happen here like in ____ fill in the blank with a country you hate but have never visited), hair-splitters (but this isn't like _____ fill in the blank with an historical event focusing on how the details, like hair-styles, are different), or outright supporters (believers in us-versus-them, winners-versus-losers, saved-versus-sinners) on social media (Tock-Tick,Twatter and Bookface are brutal), in the churches, running government, spouting off lies, what-ifs and what-abouts, even here. Most people really don't understand the danger of rip-tides until they're drowning. And this is not just one event. And yes, only about 25% of Americans support this but that's more than enough to create havoc and criminalize people." ss&s. shop. Durian! ทุเรียน tv25. Kinda... ytBL. Need to find a new/old one ... that's available. pool. walk. Lovely rainy day but slippery. Slow day. |
| Visa info: https://www.austchamthailand.com/6-ways-to-stay-in-thailand-for-the-long-term-an... To Rosemary on fb regarding her question, "Where did last week go?": "It went to the Old Weeks Home. They guard the memories. That's their job." (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง.  25/06/66 exor. 200-75-75-300 = 650. 1,000 would be a goal. 800 an objective along the way. 79 under the clouds at 09:56. obsv. pelos-de-gato = cat hairs = fine sprinkles like mist. herons hooting (is it mating season?). freshness of the air. Last night the pool was choppy after the storm; today it's glass. puddles. my pressure points. Silly putty, outrage, grunts and groans... social media? Cat-hairs. As if the herons give a hoot. They do. The morning air feels fresh after the storm. bogs. Neil/Viv/JeffTo Neil "A Sad Day to Rejoice" Yes, a fighter. Almost 90. Not bad post scarlet fever. That said, every day comes to an end. Apparently she had many happy ones and bestowed blessings on everyone she met. "Floating on a Sea of Guilt Ridden Relief" Family is an important part of a hospital stay in Thailand. They assume everyone has family and that family will visit, feed and look after needs. Families tend to be strong here; but, not everyone has one. When my mother died last year at age 99 I felt a certain-lightening. Fortunately, my sister was there and it was her time-to-go. The rage isn't good. It's understandable though. Had a good discussion about rage last night. The air-between-us seems clearer now. After the storm... the calm. Stuff. You will find new homes for some of it, choose to keep some of it, realize that with every touch you are touching something your mother once held. If you ever feel overwhelmed... let it out. Life is a series of wounds and healing. vpbanjo Viv re "Dream Voyage: Revisited" : comment in her notebook: "I don't review because I'm not qualified; plus, dreams are quirky. A blow-by-blow account of the storm (dropping into it or severely clipping the intro - the epilogue may need a word or two added, the gravelly shore was warm, grass green, trees unbent, rocks solid beneath me something short, sweet and concrete) would provide the focus for a flash fiction. 500 words? Less? More? Questions... what kind of boat? It doesn't matter in a dream, but details make a better story. What colors, sizes, shapes can be added? What sounds, smells, touch, tastes (eating anything when the storm hit? did you keep it down?). Add a back-up boiler and make it steampunk! Whatever works. This can be worked with. Personally, I'm frightened of water. I bob, don't swim. A barrel would be comforting in some ways." To Jeff "Christian Q&A + Faith" : "I'm not a Christian (no problems with Jesus). But I'll try to answer this as a Baha'i.I would repeat the three Onenesses: God is One, God's Messengers come from the same Source, Mankind is One. It has guided my life and how I act. We do not have rituals; but, I could work on prayer and being more mindful in my interactions with others. In Montana there's a mix of religious beliefs but many are Christians. In Thailand Theravada Buddhism is official but there's freedom of affiliation. In both places I need to be aware of the importance of ritual to others. My life has not been blessed by the criteria often cited by Americans; but, I've been blessed in other ways. I don't consider any burden to be placed by God. However, many of God's "followers" have been brutal in their narrow application of my-way-or-the-highway. I bear no cross; I seek no salvation. That's the burden borne by others." เที่ยง. Cloudy and 82 degrees at 12:37. Thai. Daily  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1RQKqZu8HU pood. walk. Spoke to Ann at market. วิดีโอ. at wet-market. foto. tv25. Zero {Earth/Mix} 24/06/66   It's been a shitty 30 hours... posted elsewhere... if I'm moved to share. exor. 200/50/50/300 = 600. Not into it but managed. 88 degrees at 09:57. ss&s. Twice... see above comment.To Jeremy (soul-writer) "Repeat Until Death" : "For some 1+1 = 3. My parents were like that in some ways. But me?I remember Kevin. I still call out his name. A part of me died when he cut me off after 24 years of friendship. It was bad timing and became a part of a downward spiral for 4 years. But time moved on even if I didn't. After 20 years would I like to hear from him? You betcha." To (cmstarrett) Charity "A New Beginning" : "When I travel I take things that I cannot easily replace... like my chromebook and charger... never forget the charger! And my extra pair of glasses (and prescription) because I've been known to misplace them. Clothes can be bought and so can toothpaste. You have wheels so no need for 50 triple-rolls of TP. Living on less though can be challenging. Following a minimalist approach might be best on-the-road. In hostels people bring books to read and then purposely leave them and pick up a new one. (Little libraries may become your friend. If you stop on libraries along the way, a donated book of yours may be appropriate. ) Same with shampoo or anything difficult to travel with. They leave it! Someone else may just need it that day. It's acknowledging that needs will always be provided. Wants? Make that a short list. Like that bracelet. Want it? Focus on what is necessary to achieve it. I use my place in Montana as a livable live-in quasi storage unit. I have less here. That said, it's time to unclutter here and there. Next stage of your interesting life... enjoy it." To NormaJean "Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!" : "Not gluing back the pieces? Kintsugi came to mind, but that's with gold. Worth it if it were a special heirloom or one-of-a-kind. Jumpy? I mean... you could write about a nervous shelf that just couldn't hold on any longer! I knew about chicks in the mail, but that's a very old memory, possible from Kansas/Nebraska, 70s. We have local roosters. The night herons hoot; the mynas chatter, the finches twitter, the swallows silently swoop." เที่ยง. 12:35: 34°C 93°F; Humidity: 57%; Wind: 13 km/h77°F Humidity: 90% Wind: 18 mph after the storm. It was wonderful! Thunder, lightning, whoosh! Doors slamming, things being blown about. I love storms. It's now 17:10 and I need to go for a walk. "A thousand words" Awful movie they say, but "A thousand leaves" would make a good short story or poem. you die as the last leave falls. Chris Carpenter re homelessness: Or both. Anyone with an extra bedroom can take in someone or even a family. Many would love to have a room of their own. Me? I've walked the walk. I took in refugees without a questionnaire and no monetary support. Why? Because there was a need and I had an empty bedroom. Chris Carpenter I was homeless for 2 years. I did not use drugs and I wasn't a criminal. Yes, there are those who do and are; but, when you've met one homeless person, you've met ONE homeless person. I do agree about developers, but common people, churches, local governments and laws (number of people per unit) are as much to blame. My conclusion? It's mean-spirited people who are the main problem. Kindness has been demonized. Helping has been criminalized. And homelessness has been monetized! Re mental illness... it' has taken over 6 months for Pan to explain his illness. I'm sure there are more details but it's progress. walk. spoke with John (Liverpool) and Nok. Also Memi. foto. shop. fish, linchee, ice cream... pood. Thai. criticism/disapproval https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWl6BkBghTg tv25. Zero... but I've seen it before so I didn't pay close attention. 23/06/66To Sonali re "06/22/2023-'hollow'" : "I really like this. This message is 'solid'. I'd tweak it to make sure the rhythm is perfect though because it demands a smooth flow (like a flute). The rhymes work (wallow/follow not many options with hollow.) Consider: I'm saying (you/I/we) need not dwell or wallow. Some things NEED to be hollow." To Elycia re "Pocket Letters Pending " : "Cute but it would need to be sent as a package? I truly need to make some small booklets that fit into a regular size envelope (that varies by country; in the US a sheet of paper folded twice works; in Thailand?). If I'm smart I could hand-write, draw and print (adding color with pencils to personalize). I've printed out booklets in the past. I keep forgetting that you're part of the Snail Mail group. "To Rhychus re "Safe from the fire below" "I do like this! Love the line Myself, the bain of all ants. but I read it as 'brain' did you mean 'bane'? I like 'brain' better because it jars the... brain. I'd work with rhythm a bit to smooth the flow. Add a syllable, take one out. Maybe use 'can't' or 'don't' instead of 'doesn't' in line 5. And 'surely shows' instead of 'does show' in line 10 and 'volition' or 'permission' instead of 'the will' in line 11. It comes close to traditional forms (ballad comes to mind) so maybe this or one of your other poems would fit the Trad Poems contest once Brenda starts it up again." "We're all just farts in the wind." "Fireproof" by Vanishing Vapor  exor. 150/50/50/150 = 400. Very hot. 97 degees at 15:15. ss&s. BBBP. 2 entries "After the solstice " "Trolling for the thoughts of fish" walk. UD Town. Memi มีมี่ runs tours. ytBL. Home School. I'm beginning to understand it and it's value. Thai. Many. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xIMKnbGb5g tv25. Be My Favorite. pôod. A little. foto.  22/06/66 exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500. 86 degrees at 08:50. But shade! ss&s. To Stik: "I'd be hysterical. Losing control is one of my major issues. I go into fight and flight (both modes) and would prolly bite you! Gay/straight liaisons ... the "straight" man is often the submissive ... perhaps to try it out? Anyhoo... there are lots of straight men who might say yes but ask gay men as well. The camera doesn't know the difference. As for handcuffs... no and no." To Lyn: "Up and walking. Yep. To either prevent clots or pneumonia, or both. The ice machine is a nice touch. My left hip has given me issues, but sporadically. I'm careful when I exercise but need to be more careful when I walk. I put 'walking' on my daily to-do list because I sit too much. We don't have hummingbirds here in Thailand. Finches galore though. We have birds that hoot. I believe they are night herons. Lots of myna birds and doves. Our grounds are kept immaculate but flowers = bugs and bugs = birds. We're a happy bunch. The unkempt lots and areas along the railroad tracks also help."To Storm: "I have little problem beginning things. My issue is finishing them. Blood of the Garlic comes to mind. It started as stories, and maybe that's what they intend to be. Same with Space Cadet, although that has more of a narrative. I haven't looked into printing out copies on paper, but I should. That may help me with the editing and sorting process. I've reread old works that I've forgotten, amazed that I wrote them. If only I could move on from traumas that easily.  That said, it can be easier to find flaws when a piece has mouldered for a while." bogs. Stik/Lyn/Sesheta ytBL. Home School is 'dark' and may be difficult for me in spite of the intrigue. Thai. Eating. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiR6ErzltdM เที่ยง. 34°C 93°F; Humidity: 53%; Wind: 11 km/h; mostly sunny 21/06/66 Wed, Jun 21, 2023 9:57 PM Bangkok อายัน (solstice)The storm last night cleared things out! Beautiful dawn (somehow I was up and caught pink sky in the north-west). Blue skies when I did my exercises. exor. 200/50/75/200 = 525. 81 degrees at 10:15. Late. ss&s.Pan cooked up rice to eat with potato, sliced green papaya (malaga = มะละกอ), and shrimp. Very good. I can eat things better when they are thoroughly cooked. That said... Pan is fading in and out of Neverland. เที่ยง. Mostly sunny; 34°C 93°F; Humidity: 53%; Wind: 13 km/h bogs. Nikola/Jim/NeilTo Jim: "Enjoy Wyoming. It's been wet in Eastern Montana, cold (and frosty) in Western Montana and it's never predictable in Denver... so good luck. Good to know that you have your bag. My luggage is getting old. Pull tab issues? Yeah. I do have one small advantage though ... I only do carry-on." To Neil: "A hopeless romantic trapped in the mind of a scared little boy and the body of a middle-aged man? I don't like the sound of that at all. I was middle-aged once... once upon a time. My boyfriend is on some serious drugs. One side effect is near-impotence. I'm certain it bothers him more than he acknowledges. He's a snuggler but not a kisser. I miss kisses. Pecks count but... I could easily find someone else to satisfy sexual needs. Very easy here in Thailand. And age isn't an issue in Thailand. Neither is gender or most anything else. If it fits... it fits. But... (you can fill in the blank with everything you've said). " อาข = power วิษุวัต = equinox อายัน = solstice ytBL. To 36:11. Started “Home School นักเรียนต้องขัง” Gonna be dark and spooky? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQl8Qh_8iXU Thai. Formal/informal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3353ucQGOTo read. Finished "Invalid Item" To Stephen: "Fast forward 2000 ... or was it 2001? Maybe not so alright. Zoe is now 13-14. Maybe the crisis lies elsewhere? Back in the USA? Fast forward again. 2020 ... yet another crisis where the enemy/villain is invisible and hidden. In essence mother and father save their child. But Christian... Stephanie will be haunted by that and unanswered questions. 2000? She'd be around 24. Did her family move to America? By 2020 Zoe would be 33. What would she remember about Adelaide and her childhood. Her father? Would anything repeat? The gov... all govs would be distracted by other impending emergencies. I do think a couple more books could be written. Characters would change. But then... in 20-30 years many things change. As have you! This piece is rooted in a place and time that you knew very very well. No need to update. It's authenticity is grounded. But... 2020... you could write another piece rooted in Adelaide and the reality you were surrounded with at that time. Not the happiest of years? Use the painful memories to write. The more difficult work would be 2000-2001 if you chose to do it. Especially if you moved it to America. Lots of research. This was pre-facebook and twitter both of which would reference and ground 2020. 2000-2001... Y2K, September 11th... people still used land-phones and phone booths! Russia had opened up and China was opening. In the USA there was fear, but not the trauma that followed. Australia? My life was fraught with pain 2000-2003 so... I try to forget that time and place; but pain can lead to stories... some of them gory. You may ask whether I liked it. Hard to say. I don't "enjoy" horror. That said, it was a good read and an aficionado of horror could give a better critique." walk. foto. shop. Pork, snakehead; clothespins. Pan bought 60 bottles of water earlier. pool. Talked Pan into swimming. Very important for both of us (for different reasons). pôod. nidnoi. tvBL. none tonight. 20/06/66 exor. 200/100/100/400 = 79 degrees at 08:11.I was up and out earlier. Ran into David and a couple from Poland who recommended the mountains and 'blue' lagoon of Vang Vieng. To Angie: "I'm old enough to have felt recycled a few times. I wrote about living in inner city neighborhoods "Juneteenth" but I'm not satisfied with the results. Too rambling. Too unfocused. Thailand will 'heal me or break me' or so they say. It's just wearing me out. Just another place that tourists claim to be Paradise. It isn't. The daily mundane blah of it all grinds me down. There has been some recent progress; but, it's not enough. Anyhoo... thanks for the badge. "![Merit Badge in Juneteenth
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I'm glad you're here, Kåre.
Things will get better and they'll get worse.
At least we know they'll keep changing.
Best,
Angie/buddhangela](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Juneteenth-2240950.gif) To Jim: "So... you have adult kids by now... 35 plus... 4? 6? So if this were 1988 I have no memories of that year (car accident). Petra reminded me of her contest and I should enter 'just because'. So many ways I could approach this. You chose 'memories'. I have too many. Even my entry on "Juneteenth" was hard to write (because I wasn't focused and I was avoiding certain images that kept coming to mind). It rambles and I'm not happy with it. Your response was easy to read and to-the-point. I should emulate your style." To Harlow: "I don't believe in the literal Heaven/Hell dichotomy so popular among certain sects of Abrahamic religions and I'm opposed to using it as a cudgel of control and obedience. I grew up among German-Americans who were brutal in this respect. No respect for diversity. Big on judgement. Adverse to tolerance. The Baha'i Faith teacher that our Soul comes from God and returns to God (kinda like a library loan). The body returns to dust. Here in Thailand Theravada Buddhism has rituals but death isn't to be feared. It's the fear that is used to control imho. However... Anxiety-Depression is my hyphenated middle name. I use Liam here in Thailand. Eternity? Not in this body! Consciousness? That would be interesting. But we have books and songs for that. The handed-down (written or oral) thoughts of the Ancients still surround us like water." To TJ: "This literally happens! Especially in the SouthWest US where rains can be sudden and brutal and flood downriver where it's sunny and dry on high banks and mud on the flats." To Whirls: "Every time I cook it's an original dish. I don't follow recipes and even if I did the results would be unique. I prefer variety. Even though the ingredients may be found everywhere the combination is inspired by that moment. Want the same-o same-o? Go directly to McDonald's... do not stop at a bank along the way. So... no... your word salad is gathered and tossed. It's the combination that is a part of you, vomited on the page." Bogs. Whirls/Jim/TJ/HarlowUnfortunately, I understand this. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-i-was-too-busy-to-sort-through-the... ss&s. เที่ยง. 86 degrees at 12:22 mostly cloudy. Thai. "Ia, uea, ua" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkgU5IZKLzQ walk. Just Nong Bua. foto. In park. ytBL. Last Twilight ภาพนายไม่เคยลืม just the trailer. Sea/Jimmy couple. Sea is blind. 8 pm. Blustery, lightning. tv25. But I wasn't into it... again. Not a very productive day for me. Pan got his shirts mailed to folks who bought them. That was positive.  19/06/66  To Norma Jean: "A very green Montana from all I'm reading and seeing in the photos. Scott posted a photo of where he is... I responded... is it always that green? Here it's green. The rains came and poured a bit. Yesterday we had some rain it's pregnant-cloudy again today. The long range forecast isn't good though. El ninho leads to drought in this region. My constant anxiety is causing some issues. At the moment it's peaceful." "People disappear for so many reasons. I'm sure folks wondered after I ran away... I kept everyone at a distance. After this much time... I'm sitting here snacking on a sticky mix of puffed rice, sesame seeds, and peanuts while Pan hugs me. Last night I had rice with squid and pork. I met someone from Sweden yesterday, will finish reading Stephen-in-Adelaide's novel today, and I will study and speak Thai. I doubt any of this would have happened if I hadn't run away." "No Ekalaka? I've met two people from there... but does anyone ever go there? Same with Broadus I suspect. A Burger Trail is a cute concept and makes people aware of the small town diners. Once McDonalds moves in they're gone. I want to do a photo shoot with Pan but Stand here, do this. Wait - don't eat that yet, but pretend to take a bite. Smile - act like this is the most wonderful day of your life! is a foreign concept to him unless he's allowed to look like he stepped out of GQ. No desk, no service is the trend nowadays in many parts of the world. Cheaper for the owners. Great for human-phobes. I am not impressed and try to avoid them. In May I arrived after midnight in Bangkok. Apple was there to check me in. As she was the time before in January." To Patricia: "I really love this. My mother lived to be 99, but yes, the mother-wound. I think this could be made into a flash fiction and entered in one of the myriad contests here (unless you have already). Someone needs to read it. "Found on the internet: 'From Anthropocene to “Symbiocene” – Symbioscene When thinking about a good name for our initiative, we stumbled across the term Symbiocene. It has been coined in 2011 by Glen Albrecht. He uses this term to argue that human history should enter a new era that is characterized by harmonious interactions between humans and all other living beings.' I don't think I've heard the term used before, so thank you for making me aware of it." To Neil: ""Seventh Seal" and the chess game between Death and Max von Sydow comes to mind. Of course Death wins! Death always does. But... it's the game that's important and what one does with however much time one has to live. Live!" bogs. Norma/Pat/Neil exor. 250/50/100/250 = 650. Hand movements for pesky flies! Saw David. เที่ยง. 84 degrees at noon and cloudy. ss&s. A bit late, but better than never. Ate with Pan afterwards. Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRYjsM1HQO8 read. Chp. 33 & 34. Almost finished. "Invalid Item" ytBL. Just a preview but something... หัวใจในสายลม Dangerous Romance walk. Bought 2 dumplings. Spoke to Jari. obsv. Big cloud, hands waving, bee sipping yellow tubes, jet, flies... will I miss them, decrescendo of the doves, muted music from an open door A2, someone in the window C2 705, I waved. tv25. โคตรเหงา เรา 2 คน Loneliness Society. Hard for me to get into. To Adherennium "Days are what they are. Yesterday was squid and pork and rice noodles. Today... Cloudy with fitful outbreaks of sun. Thanks for the badge." ![Merit Badge in Congratulations
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Happy Anniversary. Hope that you have a simply wonderful day.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Congratulations-2500.gif) And... Honourable Mention in "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" for "HERE LIES A QUEER " .And... Juneteenth 7496 |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. 18/06/66It's a rainy morning on a Red Day. 79 degrees at 08:26. Will I be smart enough to go out in it? Another note: my feet are bothering me a tad. I haven't been in the pool in over a week... does that help? Possibly. Just like lotion helps my face and walking helps me psychologically and exercising helps me put my pants on (my right thigh seems to be stronger and I stand better). Small things. Motion is life. Even the aggravation of living with someone teaches me lessons. To Mike: "I'm definitely left-handed which can be an advantage but apparently I also have two left feet. I can move for a moment and then I lose it. Maybe Musa Motha has an advantage by not having a left foot at all. He's definitely an alouette. One of the most amazing dance performances ever. You really need to watch this. " "To Stik: Warning: opinions and advice... I try to take photos of Pannya, but he's not artistic in a creative way. He always wants to look like a model. Bleh... Thailand has standards of beauty: light skin, tall (for men), with a perfect complexion. Pan is 26... and that's old. And he won't smile unless he puts on a fake smile. Because? He just can't be himself. He thinks he's ugly. Frustrating. Plus... black/white photos are for dead folks not the living. Forget art photos! Thailand is demographically young and the BL film industry (geared for selling products to teenagers) has been criticized about "the look" (like 1950s Hollywood). Now it's trying to portray roles outside of the boring (oh... very very boring... think 1980s white-folk-sitcoms). But... I watched a "show" last night of some of the best in the industry and cringed. It's sing/dance/pose... Fortunately in Thai BL series they have great writers, camera crews, cinematography, music, directors, coaches, and actors who rise to the occasion (most of the time... it's still too commercial). So, subject. IMO, find men who are willing to embrace a range of emotions, willing to take directions, and will let YOU do the picture-taking! I would suggest video and use a frame... or a camera with a fast shutter speed as movement is an issue for me (maybe you don't have that problem?). Good luck finding someone who isn't vain. Maybe just take thousands of photos of everyday people? Me just blithering, but I am truly frustrated." bogs. Mike/Stik/Sorji exor. 200/50(mild back pain)/100/250 = 600. 77 degrees 10:30 - 11:00. obsv. damp 'cool' cloudy, pesky flies, oblivious ants, no uncles see, white flowers strewn, hoots near and far, something hovering like a hummer (no hummingbirds in Thailand) gone in a flash, swallows swooping. เที่ยง 77 degrees Grey but brightening. ss&s. Late. Thai. Mood particles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLHv-h2LxdA walk. Ate at Koala. Met Sam (Lars) from Goteborg at Sports Bar. shop. Sea bass, vanilla ice cream. foto. ytBL. tv25. Out with Pan and friend. read. 17/06/66 exor. 200/75/100/300 = 675; 79 degrees at 08:30. obsv. PorP.Observed, worked-out, wrote, spoke to Rick. He confirms the wisdom of my approach. It's possible to treat this as a do-nothing vacation. That would not be wise. I originally intended to travel around Isan... so much for plans. But I have adjusted to a variety of objectives that provide an overall routine. It was disrupted by our SiSaKet/KhunHan trip, especially my workout, but I'm back to the routines. bogs. Nikola/Mouse/RhychusTo N: "A new member of your family! Enjoy. I have to remind myself to be grateful that I seldom get headaches, never get migraines. Mind you I'm a pain-in-the-other-end. Friends will confirm that." ss&s. foto. food, lotus82 degrees at 10 am. Pan is still in bed. I'll try to get as much done before he stirs. It's wash day. And Saturday... but days of the week don't mean as much here. People tend to work every day. This isn't a 6/1, 5/2 or 3/1/2/1 culture. FU and the Unicorn you rode in on... need to address hyper-vigil and paranoic GenZ (mostly women) Boomers (mostly men) and others. I was the smiling child who wanted to connect with strangers because I couldn't around family. And now I'm supposed to respect you by reading your mind and not speaking to you? FU! About this: https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/news/pittsburgh-synagogue-shooter-is-found-guilt... It took 5 years and it's not over. What a waste! I do not believe in the death penalty but it's much cheaper and less stressful for everyone when the cops murder (shoot with intent to kill) the suspect instead of capture them. Unfortunately, the US is racist and more p.o.c. are murdered in this way over traffic stops then white folks put in jail for murder caught on video. 11:00 and Sleeping Beauty has arisen from his slumber. 86 degrees. ![Merit Badge in Celebration
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Congratulations on your WDC anniversary and thank you for your friendship! *^*Bighug*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Celebration.gif) ![Merit Badge in Awesome Writing Site
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18 years! *^*Shock2*^* Damn but you're old! *^*Laugh*^* Congratulations!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Awesome_Writing_Site-1630911_14.gif) เที่ยง 88 degrees read. Chapter 32... 6 more to go. "Invalid Item" Thai. Animals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4f4A44u7IU ytBL. Our Skyy Vice Versa | EP.2 https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/takeaways-from-the-scathing-report-on-minne... It's 16:46 and I'm happy to report that today went better. It would be nice to have no-drama days when I felt loved and accepted. I should be grateful for these few moments. Thought for the "poetry of isolation": its voice hushed by the turmoil of daily life / it sits inside me begging to be birthed / the weight of it a feather eager to fly / what belies its belief in eternity / what awaits its final demise // as it joins the other forgotten utterances / shared with the imploding void. / the scent of it floats through fluttering leaves / alights like a butterfly lost in dreams // here in the closet of forget-all-this / it whimpers to be released / allowed to become alive. walk. wash. I hung up the wash that Pan did earlier. tv25. I watched some BGT. Not amused by the gmmtv show tonight.  16/06/66 exor. 200/50/75/200 82 degrees at 8:30 ss&s. Meanwhile... Pan got a haircut. bogs. Phyllis/Mike/Angr Thai. Family https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YZeDDJEOns เที่ยง 90 degrees shop. seasoning, bread. Sprinkles at 14:00 and 18:00. pink rose, lotus, donuts. ytBL. Our Skyy Vice Versa | EP.1 Really cute. foto. caught the sunset. tv25. But saw only half and I'm just not into it at the moment. read. Chapter 28&29.To Lilli: "Thank you. I almost feel like an adult now. But... what's really sad is how few have been here at WdC longer than me. When my mother (99) died I also found out that my aunt (93) had died. They were the last of their generation. So... anniversaries are also sad. So many years writing... so many missed opportunities. At least today was a good day in-real-life. To Tina: "Thank you... I just wish folks were more willing to engage me when I'm contrary. I stay here out of habit. WdC and I fell out-of-love long ago. I feel okay here when I'm part of a large multi-cultural community. I'm not a groupie nor a cheery cheerleader tossing a long blonde pony-tail with a pasted-on smile (real or fake) for "our" team. I never have been. So... I'm lucky to have any friendly associates here at all, or at least folks who will tolerate me. I don't feel the love I used to feel. But then... I don't feel embraced in Montana or Thailand either. If I dive off our balcony it won't be because I was pushed; it will be because I want to fly." ![Merit Badge in Follow Your Dreams
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Happy anniversary!🌺🤗hope you have a fantasti, special day. Thank you for all you do to help make this community so wonderful. You shine like a bright star here. Thank you for the inspiration you inspire. 🐉🐾💙](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Follow_Your_Dreams.gif) ![Merit Badge in Milk and Cookies
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Dear [Link To User enga] *^*Bigsmile*^*
On your *^*Suitheart*^* WDC Anniversary
Here is something while you go blog-hopping!
Thank you *^*Delight*^* for all the kind blog comments - and for getting me in to blogging *^*Smile*^* in the first place!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Milk_and_Cookies-2290135.gif)  15/06/66Not a restful night for me. Pan was fast asleep and I felt alone. Got up reasonably early (before 8). exor. 200/50/50/200 82 degrees at 09:15. obsv. 2 hooting birds, jet, train, breeze, dying flowers (lasted about 2 weeks?) ytBL. Past-Senger Ep. 11 and 12. Finished! "Yep. Here in Thailand (I'm in conservative Isan) no one seems to care about the age difference between me and my boyfriend. For Bamee this is a forgotten lapse of time, for Kiew it's a moment he has waited for all his life. But yes... bittersweet is a good choice of words. And that... could've used 2 more episodes to resolve. Or a trilogy. Part 1 ends when he returns. Part 2 is resolving issues with his mom and friend while being patient while Bamee grew up. Part 3. the reunion... having to get to know each other again... the realization... the rekindling... and whatever obstacles put in their way. At that point whether they get together or not is less important to the story (although possibly heart-breaking to the viewer if bittersweet)." "I thought the ending was a bit abrupt. A couple more episodes would've been nice for Bamee to remember what he'd forgotten and for Kiew to rekindle what must be a very fond but hazy memory (like an old photograph). Also I realize that BL is written for a teenage female audience (that the rest of us get to enjoy) and that most of those who comment here and elsewhere are probably GenZ. BUT... This is Thailand. Age and sexuality do not present the same barriers found in the USA, UK or EU, or even elsewhere in Asia (Taiwan, Korea, Japan are very different as is their BL). Mind you... Thailand isn't a LGBTQ+ paradise; but, here in Isan, a conservative Buddhist region, I've been shocked by the acceptance me and my boyfriend receive in spite of our obvious age difference." read. Up to Chapter 27 "Invalid Item" "Chapter 27. Very intrigued. Now I understand what's going on... kinda... wouldn't be shocked if you had a surprise or two left.  That said... still a bit lost now and then. If this were a TV series like the Thai BL I watch then it would be easy. 4 segments each episode with a recap at the beginning and an enigmatic teaser at the end. We'd know what time/place we were in by other techniques... dress... haircut... lighting... Maybe not perfectly as this is tricky but there are Thai directors, screen-play writers and cinematographers, not to forget actors and actresses that could handle this! "6 main and supporting characters" is done all the time. The darkness has shown up in "Not Me" and is being explored as Thai TV expands past traditional soap-operas or single-genre main-stream offerings. This should probably be read all-at-once. It's not long, so one day would suffice for a quick reader. I will finish this soon as I don't want it to be drawn out longer than it was meant to be." walk. Got to talk with Rick on the way back. foto. Thai. Polite questions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZmXYmvxT4Q&t=13s pôod. tv25. Special Show. Making me a bit sad. Feeling so inadequate. Still not a fan of this silliness. Ovi? Not yet... "xx I bask in x moonbeams / while eating strawberry ice cream, / sprinkled with malted ovaltine, / leave none for you. // x I scrape the xx bowl clean, / it's not that I mean to be mean. / You lie there self-absorbed by dreams / and sleep unaware." bogs. Gonzo/Sonali/Robert 14/06/66Not all daze are Equal. Disclaimer: I stay away from artificial sweeteners. Got to station by 06:55. I was open and there were only a few scattered seats available. We didn't sit together. I was in #22 and Pan behind me in #26. The bus was nice, comfortable. They gave us water. Left 08:30 and arrived before 16:00. Very quick. No bad weather, no accidents or blockage. Easy-peasy. I didn't sleep well because I wasn't sure about Pan's alarm. I heard it... fortunately because getting Pan out of bed isn't easy. Had rice and pork for breakfast - the usual. Having fish (sea bass) and rice for supper. read. Up to chapter 23. Read on the bus. ss&s. exor. 100/50/50/200. Easing back in. Back has given me problems. 91 degrees at 17:55. Some shadows. foto. From bus mostly. walk. But too much sitting on the bus. shop. Jar for Milo. Vegetables. ytBL. Past-Senger Ep. 10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5kDHTApUeQ tv25. Special show.I'm very tired, worn out, depressed. I just want Pan to hold me. He's in bed already but I'm trying to hold out until 21:30 before I collapse.  13/06/6628°C 82°F at 08:40 in SiSaKet. No bus to catch today. Pan sleeps in. I was up around 07:30 and I'm on my second coffee. bogs. Jennifer/Jim/Steph ytBL. Past-Senger Ep. 9 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iWZF2IHIoQWe went out to eat. I tried a shrimp but it must've had a chili on it. I had to spit it out (but washed it off later and ate it). I had a sneezing fit. Not good, but it really confirms whatever is going on with me and chili. read. Through chapter 14. "Invalid Entry" Noon. 32°C 90°F Walked to Huai Nam Kwam... a lake, a park, an aquarium (closed). Took lots of photos. Very long hot walk. foto. 16:00 walk. 16:0032°C 87°F 16:24  12/06/6681 degrees and blue skies. It wept yesterday evening after a downpour in the late afternoon. Room is too cold for me. A/c isn't always wonderful. Today our plans: we go to the doctor and back to SiSaKet. read. Chapter 7, 8. ss&s. Shaved. ytBL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hlyEJzfMlo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F9zQ1LG0uo 88°F 31°C at 11:00. Oh... don't even get me started about sitting at the clinic for 5 hours. Imo, Pan considers sleeping and drinking water and eating more important than actually getting any place in a timely matter. 79°F 26°C in SiSaKet at 21:30 after light sprinkles. trip. Bus from Khun Han to SiSaKet. foto. sunset, rice fields. bogs. Charity/Tracker/Johnnypôod. a little walk. A day of sitting at the clinic, sitting on the bus for 1:45 = no walking.Two nights in T4 Hotel = 1.300 baht (last night was 350 baht). Yes, it's relative. One night in a hostel can be 300-400 baht/person. So this is reasonable. To Johnny: "I agree with ideals and goals in spite of what others pursue or block; but, goals without measurable objectives are abstract and 'squishy'. One example from my experience... I had a bbq in my garden for 15 years on August 28th for MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech. I invited a wide range of people. Usually 30-80 came. I may never know the impact but it was an act I could measure." To Charity: "There are different stages of life each with its own struggles and joys. I 'sacrifice' to travel. Not so hard for me now but I may have to make new sacrifices when I stop. I live in about 300 sq. ft. both in Montana and in Thailand. It's what I'm used to. However, that too will change." Pan was in bed by 9 pm. It's 22:39 and I'm exhausted. 7457 |
(exercise) Exor. (observations) obsv. (shit,shave,shower) ss&s. (read something) read. (comment blogs) bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) tv25. (write poetry or prose) PorP. (take a daily walk) walk. (buy something) shop. (take a photo) foto. (video) วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) pool. (clothes) wash. (cook something) cook. (tidy up) mess. (travel) trip.  11/06/66Update: "Weekly Goals" Up 9-ish. 85 at 11:36. We leave at noon. Hour and 40 minutes to get to Khun Han. So... yeah... making it a day trip would've been exhausting. I took pictures and video along the way. Coffee in KH where Pan greeted friends. Cloudburst just before 17:00. pôod. gaining confidence. Spoke to man from Khun Han in SiSaKet. walk. around SiSaKet. foto. วิดีโอ. from bus trip. to Khun Han. ss&s. bogs. Harlow/Mighty/Stik Thai. "and" lae/gab/gab(with)/laew-gaw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBAohEfJ0g ytBL. Past-Senger Ep.6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBAohEfJ0gDJT (Newsweek) "As well as attacking the case as a "witch hunt" against him, Trump also said that if he were to win the 2024 election, he would sign an executive order as president to remove federal funding from schools that teach critical race theory and "transgender insanity" and other "inappropriate racially, political, and sexual content" to children." In my opinion this equals 'erasure'.  10/06/66 ytBL. Past-Senger ep.5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi-1umow0EI&t=129s pôod. Trying to speak more. foto. วิดีโอ. from bus trip. read. Chapter 5. Thai. Learn Thai - Use of อีก(èeg) (more, again, another)Today was problematic. Trip to SiSaKet after very little sleep (up at 6 am). 7 hour bus ride. It rained by ราษีไศล Rasi Salai but it was dry when we arrived. So my to-do list is shot. Plus, I'm having computer problems. Did read another one of Steven's chapters. I'll get there. Pan is zoned out. Not good... but we see his doctor Monday.  09/06/66 82 at 9:26 Up late as I barely slept. Pan came home in a daze at 01:15. One of his periodic episodes. He was burning up and sweating all night, not moving, shallow breaths. Not good. I had a nice chat with David L. at the A2 gazebo. Pan has a doctor's appt. on Monday. Good timing? เที่ยง 87 degrees Bogs. 12:20 Jennifer/Lyn/Phyllis ytBL. 13:30 Past-Senger Ep.4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XibNhAoNM0 read. 14:00 Horror story. Chapter 4. Thai. 15:25 To be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOyq37i_A3g&t=813s Exor. 16:00 150/50/50/150 = 400 91 degrees with some clouds. ss&s. 16:30 84 degrees 19:30 walk. 18:30 shop. 18:30 mouthwash 88 baht, 4 bao 20/ea, milkTo Steven: "Chapter 4: Silence of the Lambs? Someone needed/wanted a new skin? I just want a new body or at least the parts back that I've lost (they can keep the appendix). By now I've gotten into the rhythm of your verbosity. The pacing... that last line... a very good hook. Do all of your chapters have hooks? If so it works a bit like a nineteenth century penny-dreadful. Strong technique."{/} To Tracker: "My mother became a mother when she had me. I was #2 as she had a miscarriage. I named him Jeremy... because he had no name and no one to mourn him. I was the only son, the golden child, the misfit, the...  08/06/66 80-ish degrees at 7-ish. Exor. 08:40 200/75/50/225 = 550 obsv. 09:00 black cat on a blue roof; jets, planes, train; smell of grass, piles of grass, weed-cutter and lawn-mower. ss&s. 09:30 wash. 09:45 Pan washes clothes.   Exterminator 10-12. read. 10:30 Return "Invalid Entry" blog. 11:25 Apondia/Beholden/Rhychus เที่ยง 88 degrees ytBL. 13:45 Past-Senger Ep.3 Thai. 17:00 Negatives: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw_cz0Pxj_I PorP. 17:30 "Monochrome in indigo [180.55] ((8))" 84 degrees at 7-ish walk. 19:00 shop. 19:00 white rose, white lotus, durian tv25. 21:30 Our Skyy pool. mess.Foto only a couple. pôod. very little  21:50 82 degrees all color removed except for blue this nighttime gift of shame you left me towers I cannot climb supplications declined emotions I can never fathom here in the city surrounded by millions I sob all alone [55] Edited and posted "Monochrome in indigo [180.55] ((8))" To Judith: "Thank you. Lovely pastoral vignette. By-the-way... I find these interludes important and sometimes lacking in fiction where they can provide setting and ambiance. This would be a nice first chapter to a horror story (contrast can work wonders). In-real-life, too many people rush when it isn't necessary. Winter's a good case study. Roads not plowed = going nowhere. What gets done gets done. When everything's done one bakes or reads. Spring however, has always been my favorite season for doing something after being cooped up all winter. Springs came late along the Great Lakes and then hurried in a gush of leaf-green and pollen. I loved the smell of freshly mown grass. Usually in May. Today they whacked and mowed the lawns at the condo here at Lumpini in Udon Thani. Big piles of green, the myna birds searching the short grass. To live in the North, a place of 4 seasons, one must find the beauty at each time of year. I've settled into the boring routines of the two-season tropics. It's the 1st part of the rainy season when I welcome the downpours that sweep away the trash and cleanse the air. I'm sitting in a covered area watching butterflies and birds. There's musack playing and workers sweeping, but at 10:46 I have the seating area to myself. Basically... I see someone now and the birds... no frogs or toads at the moment. Where are they when needed to get rid of the pesky flies?" To Beholden: "Algorithms will dumb us down. I do search for odd things sometimes. Popular vs Peculiar = I was more peculiar. That helps me at times. As does the 'interested in everything'. Even with the news... I check out the 'enemy' occasionally. Recently, I found out about the dam by Kherson on a weather/climate channel. Nothing on MSN, so I went to Al Jezeera. Now? It's a concern but only in the sense of devastation and possible war escalation. Americans love to watch violence of various ilks. On youtube I watch The Voice, Thai BL series, Thai language instructions, random music but specifically Dimash."  07/06/66In response to a meme posted by Patricia: "Don't argue with creative types ... Why? It would do no good and if they did listen the world would be a darker shade of dismal." 80 degrees at 8-ish. Was up 7-ish. ss&s. 09:00 17:15 22:00 Exor. 09:30 300/50/50/300 = 700 PorP. 10:30 "Impatiens [180.54] ((8))" obsv. 09:30 17:00 blue-green and yellow feathered bird perched on the flowering ginger, looking for... nectar, bugs? Splash of puddles, running water in the ditches, fragrant jasmine, growing tips of orchid roots. blog. 11:40 Marvilla/TJ/Sorji Thai. 12:05 Barriers* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3ucO0fNVw4 เที่ยง 31°C 87°F Not sure about temp.  ytBL. 13:30 Past-Senger Ep. 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRw79M08MOA foto. 14:00 Heavy rain, took video. วิดีโอ ถ่ายวิดีโอ walk. 17:00 shop. 17:00 น้ำจิ่ม (no chili) กาแฟ 16:45 ไก่ หมู ลิ้นจี่ แครอท ผัก pôod. นิดนอย80°F 27°C read. 19:20 "Invalid Entry" Yes, I liked it. tv25. 21:30 Our Skyy 2 BadBuddiesxATOTS Ep.3 pool. mess.To TJ: Yep. The electric bill near killed me. It was very hot in May and mostly dry but the rains have come with grey pregnant skies. I wear an orange cap and carry an umbrella. I'm not too stupid. I'm a smart old fella. I also cover up. Bugs and flies and skeeters... They bloomed every summer, an oval of soft pink against a backdrop of sage-green cedar. They mirrored my struggle to be patient. I waited. You never responded. Should I have planted firecrackers, a rainbow explosion of color. Edited: "Impatiens [180.54] ((8))" To Dan: Spring came late to Montana. My friends say it's still wet and cool there. Green Season arrived in Isan with the rains. The birds and the bugs love it. And I don't mind 80f/27c overcast degrees. Better'n 95/35 and boiling in my own juices while choking on the smoke! Well... I woke up with a tummy-ache and loose bowels. I've eaten a little: rice, potato and pumpkin. And fired fish-skins that remind me of chicharrones but easier to eat. To Marvilla: "I am in the process of making personal adjustments to get my life back on track and more manageable. This. I need to do this periodically. If I don't I'm faced with too many changes all at once and that overwhelms me. So... Boundaries. Not as simple as one word for those who need to establish them. And we-both do. At the moment I still struggle with boundaries but I have made a list of objectives I can check off daily. I'm focused on learning a new language and culture but routines (exorcise/exercise and personal hygiene) are on the list so I don't neglect them. Focusing on accomplishments helps me to say no when I have to say NO (to myself or anyone else). As for that new cape... what color will it be if I may ask? " To Sara: "At a safe distance... I'm not sure that 20 years and 12 time zones are enough but I no longer feel stressed out by the past on a daily basis. Trauma is an unwanted "giver". So... a smile, a hug, and the proper distance (especially time-wise) is a good idea." "Birds need to have feathers; people need to have friends." Kiew takes away the phone and makes Bamee look (as in notice). I'm liking Past-Senger in spite of paywalls that won't allow me to watch all of it. Tita Josie seems to be good at cutting (only 60% is allowed on youtube) but I watch for cultural reasons not just to see a love story. I broke the computer screen. It's a touch screen so... I've had it about 1 year. I sent this poem from last June to the Senior Forum: "Serenade to Odin's Day" To Petra (edited): in a rush in a gush words tumble as we blush shhh—hush Sometimes we lose it along the way.  06/06/66 75 degrees at 8-ish. Exor. 200/50/50/100 = 600 09:10 Chatted with Tom pôod. 09:30 obsv. swallows and swallowtails. ants in the bathroom. 09:30 ss&s. 09:40 Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMItJRPfqHA 10:20 blog. Jim/Sonali/Angr 11:00 เที่ยง 29°C 85°F Partly cloudy and will rain later. read. Chapter 1 "Invalid Item" 14:20 walk. 16:45 tvBL. Past Senger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhQF-BV27ps 18:10 87°F 31°C foto. pool. I could have because Pan would've gone with me. PorPNice chat with Tom this morning. She's the pink jogger. Her daughter lives at Lumpini; she lives closer to Nong Prajak. She's from Udon and 64. I can understand her English. She has a Canadian friend and that may be why. To Angr: "I really liked this. The use of 7/7/7/7 divided 3/4 or 4/3 reminds me of the hymn "Rock of Ages" and adds a musical component to these two verses. There could be more... a third verse going back in time... maybe two verses... and then a last verse back to the present/future/ancient-past. I have a variety of traumas and triggers. Not all memories are unpleasant but bad ones once triggered take me back. Photos work well for me, occasionally music (but more for emotion), and fragrance. Use of the 5 senses to describe a before time might be interesting. Now I'm back at my grandparents... circa 1960: a red cardinal, smell of rotten tomatoes, lilacs (May 1963), cold floor of the basement (we slept there on hot nights in August), flash of the fireflies, the slant of the hillside, the red sidewalk and white tires of nasturtiums, taste of split pea soup, and fresh baking bread (twice/week). Sound of? Maybe the porch swing... ah... the whistle of the steam engine (Pennsylvania RR main line). Thank you for taking me down the dirt/gravel path through the hollow." To Phyllis: "Thank you. It's not always easy and I get frustrated. I have a major problem with Christians... I realize that it's not fair to lump them together. I fail to understand why, when it comes to sexuality, they can't mind their own business (in Thailand the Buddhists struggle but do much better). I have come to the conclusion that some truly feel that they personally are called upon to save the world from all 'sins' and that they must witness and save family and friends. But once again... why can't they mind their own business? I need to write a blog about this. There are Christians here who could shed some light on this social-political issue. It's pertinent because of what deSantis and his ilk are preaching. I'm not always able to consider a different p.o.v. when I feel personally threatened." To Steven: "I read the first chapter and put it on my daily to-do list. I don't agree with your concerns though. 1. It's Australia... I don't expect to understand everything. Growing up I had never been to Yorkshire or England, but that didn't stop me from reading "Wuthering Heights". 2. It's not my style of writing (except for ... indicating a pause, a breath ... a ...) but it definitely works for a first chapter in the sense that I want to know the details that you so cleverly left out. 3. Yes, it's the 1980s and dated and that's part of the charm. You were around in that time period so it doesn't come off as 'historical'. A GenZ author couldn't authentically write this without extensive research. 4. You are far too hard on yourself. Yes, writers get beaten down but there's no need to apologize. 5. Since this is the second time this event occurred what about the third? I suspect that the 2020s are due for a repeat of horrors." To Sarah (zwisis) on FB: "06/06/66 It's the 6th of June in the year 2566 in Thailand. Lots of 6s. No particular meaning attached to that number 6 that I know of. It's a pink day with cotton-puffs that will turn angry later. How am I doing? I miss the sense of community we had in Blogville over a decade ago. I'm one of the few who still blogs (almost daily) and comments on other people's blogs; but, very little interaction. Y'all know how chatty I am. WdC is more like the Land of the Silent Tight-Lipped Lambs these days. No duckies, no dogs, horses or pot-bellied pigs. I feel isolated and depressed on-line and in-real-life. The view from the outhouse I feel I've been relegated to is awesome though..." We walked to UD Town. I weigh 81.4k; Pan has gained weight and now weighs 77k. Yellow watermelon, roti, fish skin. I liked the fish skin. 50 baht for a bag. 84 degrees at 21:30 and I'm out-of-sorts.  05/06/66 22 degrees at 07:30. blog. Joy/Sonali/Rhychus/Charity 10:00 Exor. 200/100/100/200 = 600 10:50 obsv. wet railing, wet window ledges, wet... puddles, birds on a line, frog-croak overnight (up at 03:36), two boys, 8 yrs playing games, wet reflections, cool, breezy, did I mention wet... 10:50 Thai. (อยู่)+Prepositions of Place https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYTDRiBxLP8 12:05 เที่ยง 80°F 27°C Overcast. ss&s. 12:30 pôod. 13:30 tvBL. Eclipse Skyy2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmKWWHQKPU 15:30 Walk. 17:15 84°F 29°C Overcast. foto. clouds, orange flower. 18:15 shop. 19:00 pool PorPMess. I didn't but Pan cleaned. I'm depressed and there's no one to talk with. To Joy: "The word vigilante is key here. There's a certain intolerance that's taken hold of the American population again (a latter-day shunning if not criminalization of minor offenses). Although it's evident in writing circles I'm more concerned about politics and social issues. That said, I've seen people correct my spelling here not realizing that there are regional and dialectical differences or that I may be using a word from a different language (sometimes I'm aware of this, but not always). Ignorance is one thing, billigerence is another. I tend to use spoken speech and prefer concrete words to academic abstractions. That's frowned upon by some. I like to play with language which is also not always understood or appreciated. I travel the world so I'm amazed at people's grasp of English while I'm fumbling around in the local language. To mangle a phrase, "the enemy of good-enough is perfection". Pan has undergone treatments because he thought he was ugly. He showed me old pictures from before. I could cry. I would have loved him regardless. He tries to compensate with 'toys'. It breaks my heart.  |
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