iKïyå§ama - thanks so much for running this activity, for this comment and for the lovely MB!
I'm glad I saw your reminder (I'd missed the first newsfeed post somehow!) and participated.
My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE POEM
This is an acrostic poem with a festivals theme.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the accompanying video. It helped to frame the poem for me so I had more context and understanding.
STRUCTURE
This is an acrostic poem that used "MADNESS OF MARCH." From Websters: a composition usually in verse in which sets of letters (such as the initial or final letters of the lines) taken in order form a word or phrase or a regular sequence of letters of the alphabet
The poem caught the excitement and fun of the video.
MECHANICS
I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to highlight the beginning letters.
DESCRIPTIONS
I liked: "Magical, Mundane, Mysterious, Magnificent," All descriptions in and of themselves, but what visual descriptions and they evoke a lot of emotion from interesting, daring, exhilarating and even a yawn.
Such a sweet little short story; I'm sure the judge had a really difficult time choosing the winner for that edition of "The Writer's Cramp - Poetry Week" . Choosing to live alone is one thing, but also having to endure all the memories and recurring events by yourself is tough.
I'm offering these comments on Stay True to Yourself, a fabulous little verse in both senses of the word, which you posted on I Write.
It was a joy for me to savour these words of wisdom, delivered in the indisputably authentic voice of the feathered sage of fable him (or her) self. The rhymes and rhythms are direct and simple, befitting the message they convey and I particularly appreciated your signature touch - 'whooo' - which told me this could only be the work of one poet.
Much enjoyed, as ever, and I wish you success in the contest!
Gita hugged her former pupil Shaila, now herself a teacher.
"It's such a lovely surprise to meet you like this," Shaila gasped. "I owe you so much."
They chose a table together and a waiter offered them canapes.
"Ma'am is vegetarian," Shaila stated. "I remember that from my own school days, our class picnics!"
The memories flowed. "i remember - I can never forget - you always -" came gushing out of Shaila in a glad torrent.
Gita took a sip of her drink. She was looking thoughtful.
" ... and it's standing me in good stead now, Ma'am," Shaila was saying. "You always called us Darling or Dear or My Girl - something to show us you loved us. I do that with my students now."
Gita's eyes twinkled. "Sweetie," she piped up. "I had to say Dear or Darling or whatever. You see ... I forgot your name.”
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 11:58pm on Apr 23, 2025 via server WEBX1.