A comedic scene

In a park, on a bench, next to a water fountain, sits a homeless man, who has on a tinfoil-hat, leather boots, while drinking beer.

>”Ladyboys took everything I owned, they even took my good eye. Heck, I only have my boots left.”
*HM turns his view downwards and discovers that his boots are missing*
*HM feels a bit upset that his boots are missing*
>”What’s the odds of that happening twice in one day... damnit.(said under breath)”
*HM initiates conversation to people sitting on bench. HM proceeds as if nothing has happened*
>“A real man would have drunk these bad boys by now. “
*HM picks up two beers and pops off the bottle caps, quickly drinks them, and starts vomiting onto the woman sitting next to him*