House of Reviews

This is well-written, and I like the contrast drawn between the narrator's situation and what happened to his dad--and the possible similarity to what happened to his mom. I like the description of his mother's physical deterioration as she lay in her coma.

Two things--I'd think there would be more sting in that memory of saying that he wished she'd die. After all, he doesn't know (if she did hear him) whether she'd feel the same way he does--or if she'd be hurt by what he said. Maybe he's wondered about this before.

Also, Edith is not as developed as one might wish--he of course will not be startled by her entrance, but the reader wants to feel a jolt of recognition. In addition, she is probably going to feel some relief when the life support is turned off--we want to sense that inner conflict. I think sharpening the focus on her might be what completes this piece.

Thanks for posting, and I apologize for taking so long to look at this.