Writer's Fallout Shelter

Alright, to anyone who has read my previous query, and even those who haven't: is this better? Is it decent? I obviously need something that will get people to actually READ my novel. It's getting frustrating having something that I obviously think is of quality, but that no one will even give the time of day.

To whom it may concern,

The tale I propose to you now recounts the days of Thomas Stuart, code name: SALEM. Thomas is seldom called by the government. He’s a mercenary. He’s only ever called in on internationally “sensitive” jobs, for if he’s caught, the US can’t be held responsible. Thomas, however, has never been caught. Neither the government nor any of his adversaries even know what he looks like.

At the time of the novel the United States enjoys an era of relative contentment. There is some tension in Europe, however, concerning the political influence of immigrant Muslims vs. native Europeans. One man, power hungry and twisted, sees this fissure and uses it to secretly rile the population into an organized rage. The man’s name is Samael.

After years cultivating his organization, the Societé des Kafres, Samael decides that it is time to strike. He poses the plan to the division leaders of the organization.

Part Indiana Jones, part James bond and Part Star Wars doesn’t really do Thomas Stuart justice. He is his own man. He’s tough but human. He’s contemplative and considerate.

I believe that this 100,000 word manuscript will be well received by a wide audience. Those wanting the thrill of an adventure epic will not be disappointed. I have written here a tragic history of the future using one man, Thomas Stuart, as our guide. Furthermore, there is substance behind the fiction. I draw the reader toward consideration by taking ideas to extremes and giving characters absolute and well-considered points of view. In this respect, I regard my work to be one of literary fiction.

I thank you very much for taking the time to read this letter and I look forward to sending you my manuscript upon your request.


Sincerely,
Christopher Patrick Kohls