Writer's Fallout Shelter

I would say that a big thing of what he wants is a clue to what the main goal is for your character. Keeping it sort of a mystery is one thing but if your reader doesn't get an idea of what it is he's after, then there's not as much for them to look forward to. Analyze the fantasy books you've read to see how they do it. Also it's good to add in small goals along the way that he can accomplish, preferably with good conflicts to keep the character from reaching the goal too easily. It keeps the interest of the reader.

I wouldn't go back to the drawing board with it, since the agent does like it, but go back through and add in/edit things to get these things in there.

Yours fictionally,
FemmeAuteur

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