Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

Dear Tincelocks,

I’m sorry about that name misspelling. Me and Bubba, we try so hard to be sensitive to all these little nit-picking stuff and all that political correctness, but sometimes I jest can’t keep up with all that foolishness. Bubba wants to git sarcastic and stuff like that, but I have to calm ‘im down and tell him that folks are just gonna be persnickety about that stuff and he just have to humor ‘em.

So, I am sorry about that name spelt wrong, but we got it in our records in the correct spelling and even put it in our spell cheker so when you hit that spell checkin button, hit’s gonna come out right.

Now, you say your cheese and whine need to be replaced. Ain’t that wonderful. Eat and drunk it quick, did you. Well, always glad to have customers who like our products. We will get your order ready to ship and jest a soon as we git your check or money order and we do also take cash, but I recommend you send a check or money order. Bubba can’t count cash money very good, but he kin read the numbers on the check and match it with the order.

You ax if yor boyfriends’ present gone arrive by Christmas? How many boyfriends do you have? Well, when did you order them presents? You had to order by October 1 for Christmas shipment. That is unless you paid with a check, which means you, oughta ordered by July 4. However, we can get it to you by Easter or the 4th of July at the latest.

You mentioned sending some chrome with your Cheese and whine. We no longer carry that chrome. I assume you are meaning them little chrome figures. They turned out to be plastic covered with plastic chrome. We thought a buck twenty-five wus a little too much for that junk, so I’m sorry that we can’t send the chrome. However, we do have a few MacDonald’s figures that Bubba picked up in Jackson a couple of years ago. We be happy to include one o’ them for an extra dollar. Make the extra dollar check to Bubba, cause they his.

Thank you for your newsy letter. Always good to hear from satisfied customers. Ya’ll come to see us, ya hear?

Whinningly Yours.
Jim Whinnery, Cheaf Whiner