Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

Dear Mr. Mutt,

I am most disturbed by your accusations. You see, Miss Cherry, she is indeed a saint if there ever wus one. She go to church ever’day and stay there all day, except on Tuesday when she hep out here at thu Whine & Cheese Company, Inc.

Now, you mention about yore intoxication. I think we gittin’ down to the brass tacks on that one. Do you sometimes watch television when you been nipping at the jug or maybe I should say when you been draining the still. Cause I thank what done happened, you got tu hittin that jug heavy and maybe messin wid some them prescription medications and you lay down to watch some television and in that alcohol induced fog you wus a watching the Flintstones and little Mr. Bam Bam wus a bamming around this is all a dream, and when you see Miss Cherry, well you and imagine what done happened.

Now, I know Miss Cherry is 63 but honestly, she don’t look a day over 55 or 56. She be the darling of the senior social functions and she make a wonderful casserole. All the old men really like her.

Now, if I wus you, I’d stay away from Miss Cherry’s house. Them four boys of hers, well, you remember that old song what say, he had a “mind that weak and a back that’s strong?” That describes them four boys. Ever one of ‘em is dummer than a brick, but big and strong.

I am curious where this alleged incident took place. Miss Cherry don’t travel much, I mean it’s hard toting that wheelchair around and what with her wood leg, she can’t walk much.

You say you lost your wallet, huh? Oh that is a shame. A dying shame. Whured ja lose it? You know, I lost mine one time. But then I found it. Dropped outa my pocket when I got up from the toilet. Maybe that’s whur you lost yours. Or hit cud’ve dropped behind yore car seat. Any money in it? Me and Harley be happy to look around, if you cud say whur you lost it.

And to show what a big heart we at The Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. have, I'm a gonna send you a free Christmas Gift Pack. Hit’ll make ya feel better and will sweeten yor attitude quite a bit. You don’t have tu thank me or give me anything in return, cause we just want to be neighborly.

Whinningly yours,
Jim Whinnery, Head Chief Whiner