Marcia's Teddy Bear Love Forum

This might sound cruel.... but let it go. Your desire to keep him close all the time sounds unhealthy. Kids grow up and move out and away. That is just the natural order of things. Do you think just because he is moving out of state he will no longer be your son? He will forget all about you instantly? If you really think that-- your an idiot.

I was gone for a while when I was in the military. Both for my training and when I was deployed overseas. Was it difficult for my mother? Probably. But that didn't suddenly mean we were strangers. We kept in contact by letter and phone, so that probably eased her mind a little. And that experience probably helped her when my brother later joined the military and was deployed overseas as well.

He currently lives in Texas with his family, and I've seen him once in eight years. I've seen a picture of my newborn nephew when he was born six years ago... but not yet met him in person. Should I feel sad he doesn't live right down the street from me (figuratively speaking)? Angry because He rarely calls me up on a regular basis?

He is living his life... just like he is supposed to. I'd never think of having him hold back on doing that for mine or my mothers sake. Partings can be difficult, but they are needed for both sides to grow as an individual. Wanting to protect and/or keep the things you care about close at all times is unhealthy. You may think it only natural to want to do so BECAUSE you care, but that kind of mentality is damaging. Because you can't protect from everything, it just isn't possible. Then you will spiral into feelings of regret and guilt, maybe even self-hatred. All because you couldn't take a step back and let it go. Couldn't simply be happy and not turn yourself into a wreck over the natural progression of life.

You're lucky to be able to feel anything at all when you deal with people face to face. To be able to smile when you finally get to see him again, to feel pride at his accomplishments and be able to express that to him directly. To not feel like a stranger among your own family. I can feel all those things to an extent writing about my brother... but the one time he visited? I felt dead inside. When i see my nephew for the first time, if I ever do, I'll probably feel the same way.

As I said, it might sound cruel, but I think you are working yourself up over nothing.