Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

I feel empowered when my mental health at its best. Outdoors activities such as camping, birdwatching, stomping in puddles of water, hugging and kissing my children, grandchildren, and the great-grandson. When I hold down a job and work outside on my property, I feel that life is worthwhile. When I watch my kids play in sports, succeed in school, and talk to me about their ups and downs, I feel that my mental health is stable and can provide support and understanding to those in my life who need me.

My mental health at its worst when my anxiety is at its worst…I can’t hold a job or get out of my house. I can’t finish anything that I start. And I have trouble maintaining communication with my loved ones.

As I look back, many of my ups and downs are situational such as a move to new neighborhood, arguments, and disagreements with loved ones, when I am unable to finish what I start. Also, I have a tendency toward seasonal affective disorder and this winter seems like a long one which I have allowed to interfere with my desires to get in the outdoors.

Hard to identify trends since most of my lows and highs are situational. Being seasonally affected seems to be the only trend that I can see.

My history of highs and lows helps with current episodes. I have learned that many of my past methods of coping were not usually productive. I have a history of cutting and suicidal ideation and attempts. Now, that I am older, I use other coping methods when my anxiety and depression are in a serious state such as talking with my therapist, taking my medications, writing, taking care of my pets, visiting thrift stores for old movies, and watching the news channels.