Under Construction - MHWA Retreat

Many people with mental illness struggle with personal control. From anger management to impulse control issues to a general lack of motivation, let's talk about our own control issues.

Questions to think about:
*Bullet* What are some self-control issues you've struggled with? Anger? Impulsive behaviours? Focus? Motivation?
*Bullet* Are there any warning signs or triggers that you're going to have a lapse in self control?
*Bullet* What actions have you taken to regulate your emotions or regain control of yourself? What has worked and what hasn't?

Issues I've struggled with: All of them at some point.

Anger was a biggie for a good part of my life, especially during my teens and twenties. I'm talking red hot rages and smashing, throwing or destroying stuff. The warning signs were a sort of ball of fire in my stomach. I seem to have my anger pretty well under control now unless I'm manic. Even then I'm not destroying stuff. I think when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder it settled me a bit because I realized I wasn't bat shit crazy and that there was medication to help it. My dad was always telling me I was crazy and as he was the adult I believed him. So it was a relief to know my behaviour was due to a chemical imbalance.

Impulsive behaviours My biggest problem is Impulse Buying. I buy stuff I don't need and isn't in my budget. There isn't any warning and if there are triggers I haven't identified them. I see something in a store, in a catalogue or online. I see it, I want it, I buy it. Reality sets in when I see my bank account dwindling and I'm afraid I'm not going to the end of the month. Actions I've taken to regain control: I've cut up all my credit cards so I have to use actual money. Sometimes I can talk myself out of buying something by reminding myself I'm on a tight budget. I try to avoid going to the mall.

Focus My focus is pretty good, but I have to be alone for things like writing, crocheting, etc. If there is someone in the room my focus is gone.

Motivation: Yeah, I have none.

Another thing is hurt. I only get hurt by people I love. Warning sign, stinging eyes. and feeling very emotional. The only way I can stay in control is to retreat to the bathroom and take some deep breaths. It doesn't always help.