Lewd Poems Contest

Step on up, folks. Make yourselves at home.
Feel free to strain until your rectum is blown.
At the "Bodily Fluids Buffet", that happens more times than you would think.
So, think none of it when you walk in and your nostrils fill up with a rancid stink.
We have a different buffet for every day of the week,
It all depends on your sense of smell to determine what you seek.

WELL, LET ME TELL YA BOUT IT FOLKS. LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!
*cue upbeat swing band music*

WE'VE GOT....

"Soil Yourself Sundays" where no one is allowed to leave,
That is, until you shit yourself and sit in it. You must inhale your own feces until you heave.

There's "Moldy Ass Cheese Mondays" but don't forget that you need proof that you haven't bathed for weeks and weeks.
From there you must bend over, pull your butt apart as we scrape off all the creamy buildup until we have enough to fill your cheeks.

"Wet yourself Wednesdays" are so much fun because its always a surprise.
We tie you up and you wont know whether you'll be force fed a strangers urine, or whether we pour loose and bloody fecal matter directly in your eyes.

If that don't tickle your fancy, you still can get your money's worth.
Check out "Trimester Thursdays" where your food is topped with hysterectomy scrapings and buckets filled with after-birth.

On "Fist full of Fridays" you'll drink freshly squeezed tampon blood and eat turds filled with the finest corn in the south.
Don't you dare throw up or a specialist arrives to your table, to put your vomit back in you by way of fist until it spews back out of your mouth!!!!

NOW DON'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN FOLKS? WELL, IF NOT MIGHT I SUGGEST THE ASS CREME DE LA CREME:

"Shit and Semen Saturdays" is our busiest night of the week and you'll see why. As soon as you walk in we cover you with bloody stool mixed with cum and we don't stop pouring until you cry.

SO COME ON DOWN AND FILL YOUR BELLIES WITH THINGS SO AWFUL THAT I CAN'T EVEN SAY.
WE GUARANTEE YOU LEAVE WITH A BRAND NEW DISEASE EACH TIME YOU COME ON DOWN TO THE "BODILY FLUIDS BUFFET"

*health department employees not welcomed*