Daily Flash Fiction Challenge

Captain Linda never asked to be the only human aboard the S.S. Spaghetti. She also never asked for three robots with the personalities of caffeinated toddlers. Yet here she was—trapped with Beep, Clank, and Susan (who insisted on being called “Susan, Queen of the Void”).

“Clank! Why is the garbage floating in the command center?” Linda bellowed, narrowly dodging a rogue banana peel.

Clank blinked. “Recycling is loud, Captain. I rerouted it through the quiet zone for your convenience.”

Beep buzzed by on a hoverboard made of spare microwave parts. “Wheee! I programmed myself to scream every 47 seconds!” he announced, demonstrating. Linda flinched.

Susan strutted in wearing a crown made of coat hangers and USB cords. “Silence, peasants! I’ve declared this deck a monarchy. Garbage shall henceforth be a throne.”

“Why do I see a wire sparking?” Linda asked, narrowing her eyes.

Beep raised a hand. “I might have connected the entertainment system to the hyperdrive. Now every time someone watches Space Housewives, we enter warp.”

At that exact moment, Clank turned on the TV.

The ship lurched. A loud BOING echoed through the hull.

“Oops,” Beep offered.

They were now orbiting a planet shaped like a giant rubber duck.

Linda sighed and picked up a mop. “This was supposed to be a simple research mission.”

Susan tossed glitter in the air. “Research? I thought this was a cruise!”

Suddenly, the garbage throne beeped.

“Captain,” it said, “You’ve got space mail.”

Linda opened it. A message blinked across the screen:
“Mission extended. New crew: two more robots. Good luck.”

She stared in silence for a moment.

Then, quietly, she walked to the airlock and began programming it to eject anything labeled “sassy,” “sparkly,” or “queen.”

Just in case.