"A Problem Page For All!"

 (This message was edited by alexa-anne on 04-19-04 @ 8:05 pm EDT)

I am so here! I've been clicking onto this page every time I'm on the computer, looking at the clock, rubbing my aching head, sighing, and closing the browser before I post anything.

I have been busy. I have been unhappy. I have been unwell.

I don't have a lot of time to spend on my computer, because I've committed to spending most of my time keeping Cherie company at present. I'm supposed to get time off chores in exchange, but nobody seems to remember that part of it and I hate to bring up the subject, like I resent spending time with my mother. I don't. I can do a lot of what I normally like to do -- watch movies, write letters, read, knit -- while hanging out with her. I cannot 1. Surf the internet; 2. Use the computer to write my novel; 3. Listen to my kind of music; 4. Whine. That's okay. I just feel kind of stretched thin.

I had my dance show on Saturday. It made me feel like I was full of magic. I was super-stressed out beforehand; I burst into hysteric tears the night before the tech. rehearsal; I hated the dress rehearsal; but the performance was Bliss. So many people came up to me and said that my dancing had touched them or that they loved it or that I had done a good job. One old woman said it brought out the child in her to see me dancing! A man asked how long I'd been dancing and when I said 14 or 15 years, mostly modern, he laughed and smiled and said, "Well, that's obvious! You're definitely a modern dancer." Oh, and get this: Rebecca (my choreographer/instructor) says she's going to put my name up to be a member of the Dance Collective's touring company!! That would be...strange, weird, bizarre, absurd, fun. I am Itching To Dance Some More. Oooooh, it's in my blood again and I cannot let it go. Rachel and I have a tentative name for our dance duo -- Second Oasis. (Do you like it?) We're going to choreograph pieces together and for each other and see if we can perform one of them in the Collective's annual June show.

In other areas of my life. Let's see. I'm almost through with chapter two of Faery Flight, the Bouma-Holtrops are going to the Rethinking Education conference in Texas in May, I'm not going to NBTSC this year, Caitlin should go to Quo Vadis (run by graduated NBTSC-goers) (see http://www.quovadis-gathering.org ), money's tight, the weather turned really hot, my hair grew six inches since last I wore shorts and now it brushes the bottoms of the backs of my knees, I found out that I am a mezzo soprano, and the pear tree is in full bloom.

Isn't life bittersweet?

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