Battle 101

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-17-13 @ 5:30pm
: 200 foreskins, each wrapped in individual pieces of pink tissue paper and all neatly packed in a penguin proof box. Those penguins need to be chased back to their proper In & Out, otherwise they'll take over the world.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-18-13 @ 2:34am
: No penguins. Ain't nobody here but us chickens. ... That was actually a witty remark at one time. Then the source of the remark was forgotten, but the remark continued on for a while longer. Then the remark vanished and was never used again. Until today.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-18-13 @ 5:48am
: Google Google Google. Had its origin in a racially charged story about a chicken thief in 1908 and gradually metamorphosed until it was released as a record (Record? What's a record?) by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five in 1946. Let's keep it alive.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-18-13 @ 1:56pm
: Chickens forever!

Battler: 'Ropa
Hours: 05-19-13 @ 2:52pm
: Why hasn't someone cooked these chickens yet? PREPARE THE FEAST!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-19-13 @ 6:38pm
: In a BBQ (not BBG - they're two different things) kettle with lemons stuffed up their fundamental orifices and hickory chips on the coals. Delicious. I'm back for seconds.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-20-13 @ 3:06am
: Save the lemons and we'll make chicken lemonade!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-21-13 @ 6:46pm
: CHICKEN LEMONADE? Ye gods, is the man crazed? Next thing we know, it'll be turkey coffee. Actually, Turkish coffee isn't bad, although you can't drink too much of the stuff at one sitting. It'll rot your teeth and keep you awake all night.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-21-13 @ 11:28pm
: Alala's spirit, ranging for revenge, With Ate by her side, come hot from hell, Shall in these confines, with a monarch's voice, Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-22-13 @ 12:36am
: Alala's drunk again. Are those chickens ready yet? We need to get some solid food into her.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-22-13 @ 4:42am
: Off with your heads, Steve Ellen! Ka! Cha! Cha Cha! Passe' Plie' Come on every body let's do the bossa nova. It was a grave yard smash...

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-22-13 @ 8:07am
: Glory be, it's all I can do to restrain the lord of chaos from re-entering the lists with challenges like these. But you're right, Steve, some solid food is what Alala needs. Oh, and it wasn't the bossa nova; "They did the mash, they did the monster mash"

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-22-13 @ 10:33am
: We can't feed her monster mash. That stuff is gruesome. I have a recipe for a pick me up. You toss a live squirrrel in a blender with three lemons, an egg, and 2&1/3 jiggers of gin.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-24-13 @ 1:15am
: I guess that cocktail got rid of Grum...He must be in the other worlds of wcd...

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-24-13 @ 7:54am
: He is in The World Of Tomorrow.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-24-13 @ 11:51pm
: I bet he's over at Pengy's for sure. Were all alone. Wanna mess around?

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-26-13 @ 2:19pm
: Uh... only if you can come up with a better verb than "mess" to describe it.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-26-13 @ 5:04pm
: I could replace mess with fool....

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-27-13 @ 1:37am
: messy fool...I'm not in the mood anymore...what's on tv?

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-27-13 @ 4:42am
: I am BUMBLEGRUM The Mighty. Quiver in fear oh ye of little faith. I am supreme ruler of the seven kingdoms, mighty overlord of the galaxy, defender of the faith, lord of a thousand concubines (phew!) and Olympic snoring champion three times running.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-27-13 @ 4:00pm
: Don't you ever just walk in the door and say "Hi!"?

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-28-13 @ 5:10pm
: spews merlot all over keyboard

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-28-13 @ 5:47pm
: Pulls it together, thinking of Ropa, Ka! Fire at their balls!

Battler: catty
Hours: 05-28-13 @ 9:16pm
: **Fires Balls** Is it a hit? Is it? Do I need to send the fiery basket of quills too?

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-29-13 @ 8:03am
: "Hi!"

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-30-13 @ 7:56am
: "Hi, Grum!" *fresh-faced cast of Here's Grummy welcome their host*

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-31-13 @ 6:56am
: Do you know, I can think of few things I'd like less than being a game show or talk show host. I'd rather be smeared with honey and tied naked over an ants nest. Still, it would depend on which honey I was smeared with.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 05-31-13 @ 4:18pm
: Today, on Smeared With Honey! Returning contestant Grum Bumblebutt agrees to be tied naked over an ants' nest. "It's better than hosting a talk show!" says Grum, who had no chance of ever hosting one, but real people are often like that - delusional.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 05-31-13 @ 8:01pm
: (a loud buzz, morse code) This program is being interupted by the emergency broadcast system. The world will end in three hours. For further information tune into You Tube" This has been a message from your emergency broadcast system...(loud buzz)

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 06-01-13 @ 7:51pm
: Talk about yer delusionals. Three hours to the end of the world??? Everybody knows the world will end next 31st June according to the ancient Druidical calendar discovered buried in a golf course in Hell MI.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 06-03-13 @ 1:25am
: Get under your desk!!!!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 06-04-13 @ 6:52pm
: Yeah, I would, Alala, but I can't quite reach the keyboard from there, besides, it's all dark and dusty under there and - ooh, look, there's that copy of "Fifty Shades of Gay" I thought I'd lost.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 06-04-13 @ 7:53pm
: I'm reading "To The Lighthouse" by Virginia Woolf. I have had to start over a dozen times. Talk about the Queen's English. GET UNDER THE DESK!!!

Battler: Alala
Hours: 06-04-13 @ 7:55pm
: My fifth grade class practiced regularly because (don't you even know this?) the desk will save you from the atom bomb blast!

Battler: Alala
Hours: 06-06-13 @ 11:55pm
: Ok, so there's nobody here but me, so I think I will sing Tina Turner songs real loud, then I'll smoke a dobie and take a nap under this mushroom untill Ropa gets back and promotes me to General.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 06-07-13 @ 1:43am
: Ha! Ropa would prefer that everyone remain second lieutenants with HER as the only general! LOL!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 06-07-13 @ 8:40am
: Yeah, right, General Nuisance and his staff, Major Misunderstanding, Corporal Punishment and Private Partz.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 06-07-13 @ 3:48pm
: Exactly! Grum is Corporal Punishment, Alala is Major Misunderstanding, and Steve is Private Parts.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 06-07-13 @ 10:14pm
: I think that you are misunderstanding private parts.t I am Major Understanding. I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical from Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 06-08-13 @ 7:43pm
: That's better - G&S; my favourites. "I often think it's comical, (refrain) how nature always does contrive (refrain), that every boy and every girl that's born into the world alive is either a little democrat or else a little republican"

Battler: Alala
Hours: 06-21-13 @ 5:56am
: WHERE'S ROPA???

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 06-22-13 @ 9:16am
: Yeah, come back 'Ropa, all is forgiven. We promise to be good little boys and girls; if you can't be good, be good at it!

Battler: catty
Hours: 06-25-13 @ 1:02am
: don't listen Ropa! It's probably a huge trap.

Battler: catty
Hours: 06-29-13 @ 3:55pm
: In fact, there's a net hanging over the door and the escape hatch has a time-lock mechanism engaged.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 07-08-13 @ 9:56pm
: Don't do it, catty. If we can capture 'Ropa alive, we can demand a huge ransome from The New Zealand government, which is rumoured to exist.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 08-10-13 @ 7:05pm
: It's been a month since we've been here - time to insult someone, now who shall it be? catty, Alala, Steve, 'Ropa? Dad doesn't seem to be a denizen of this In & Out, but why let that factoid stop us? The possibilities are almost endless.

Battler: catty
Hours: 08-10-13 @ 7:25pm
: I volunteer as tribute!!

Battler: catty
Hours: 08-23-13 @ 2:53am
: Apparently I'm not tribute-worthy.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 08-23-13 @ 5:32am
: This in&Out is closed until further notice because of structural inadequacies.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 08-23-13 @ 11:29am
: Come, come, Mr Ellen, you must be more specific. What structural inadequacies? How are they made manifest? How long have they been in place? And, more to the point, what are you going to do about them?

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 08-23-13 @ 2:43pm
: This In&Out suffers from dizzy spells and blackouts. It can remember nothing it did from July 9th to August 9th.

Battler: catty
Hours: 08-23-13 @ 4:05pm
: But that was during the time warp sequence of events. It will never give up that information willingly. If it did, the world as we know it will cease to exist.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 08-23-13 @ 5:50pm
: Oh yes - it would cause a rupture in the space/time continuum and open a wormhole into a parallel universe, thus creating a portal that would allow the Borg to gain access to our universe. What I want to see is a movie of the Borg vs the Daleks.

Battler: catty
Hours: 08-26-13 @ 9:56pm
: Um, I don't want to be assimilated or anhialated.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 08-27-13 @ 6:49am
: catty, you're just being difficult. Doesn't want this, doesn't want that. A little assimilation is good for the digestion; helps breakfast go down more quickly. And annihilation is recommended for digestive problems; cures constipation immediately.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 09-23-13 @ 4:46am
: Another damn time warp. This is getting irritating; I shall have to have a word with the Time Lords, or alternatively the sainted James T. Perhaps Yoda knows.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 10-01-13 @ 5:49am
: Once a place starts warping there isn't much you can do about it, just stand by, watching, helpless to stop the process.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 10-01-13 @ 6:50am
: Sounds like my back. Warping and not much I can do about it, just standing, watching, helpless to stop the process, although my physical therapist is doing his best to straighten me out.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 10-01-13 @ 5:40pm
: Same here. I'm so stiff it requires my full concentration to walk in anything resembling a human posture. I don't want to get mistaken for a great ape and shot.

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-22-14 @ 7:36pm
: Definately not an ape. They're very intelligent you know.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 02-08-14 @ 7:06am
: Well, that puts Steve out of the running straight away!

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 02-08-14 @ 12:38pm
: Don't be sneaking into In&Outs 3 months after they die and start taking pot shots at The Steve!

Battler: 'Ropa
Hours: 04-19-14 @ 9:05pm
: "Long time, no see!" 'Ropa said as she stomped up to the others and started throwing her various pieces of Valerium steel on the grass. "Back to save the world again, huh?"

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 04-20-14 @ 6:05am
: Steve picked up one of the pieces of Valerium steel. "Oooo! Shiny!"

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 04-21-14 @ 2:17am
: Grum was made of sterner stuff. Throwing on his cardboard armour (with a "u"), he confronted 'Ropa. "So, wench," he declaimed, "you seriously believe you can save the world with your pathetic Valerium weapons? Just because Steve thinks they're shiny!"

Battler: 'Ropa
Hours: 04-29-14 @ 11:33pm
: "Not because Steve thinks they're shiny, no. But for other reasons, yeah!"

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 04-30-14 @ 6:41am
: "I can see my face in your breast!" Steve said, holding up a piece of Ropa's shiny Valerium armor. "Uh, breastplate, I mean."

Battler: Alala
Hours: 04-30-14 @ 6:38pm
: THERE SHE IS! Hither and thither and yon I have shouted WHERE'S ROPA. (did you hear me Ropa?)

Battler: catty
Hours: 07-10-14 @ 11:17pm
: Only if her volume was turned up. Or if her speakers were actually on. And if she has a voice modulator. But of course she has all those things. She's Ropa!

Battler: Alala
Hours: 07-11-14 @ 12:10am
: Didn't we have some good fights here once upon a time? Who can we piss off. Got any ideas?

Battler: catty
Hours: 07-11-14 @ 12:28am
: Takes lots to piss people off these days. Not many battle suits that have good fighters ready to take them out. Been years. Guess we all shriveled up and rode off into the sunset.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 07-11-14 @ 6:20am
: I think we all need a few beers, then go out and insult the Green Bay Packers - or, in my Case, the Adelaide Crows. Bound to start a fight or two, here and there, then we can tell the men from the boys (and the women from the gurls - whooopee)

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 07-11-14 @ 7:42am
: Sounds like Grum is volunteering for the job of telling the women from the girls. Make a mistake and he'll have a fight on his hands.

Battler: Alala
Hours: 07-11-14 @ 12:46pm
: Ok Catty, don't go straying too far from here, and sharpen up them claws.

Battler: catty
Hours: 07-11-14 @ 10:28pm
: Oh, they're always sharpened. And ready. Razor-sharp and wait! Found one with a dull edge. I'll be back in a bit-just have to get this one up to code!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 07-12-14 @ 2:57am
: Mmm yeah, where do I sign up for that delightful job. I never make mistakes over that issue. Now all I have to do is keep away from catty and her scimitars.

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-05-16 @ 1:46am
: Impossible.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 01-05-16 @ 6:14am
: Ha, catty has spent the last year sharpening and polishing her scimitars. Now, if I provide some stewed fish guts and a goodly helping of chicken gizzards, that might keep catty quiet - for another year!

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 01-05-16 @ 6:50am
: It would keep anybody quiet for fear you might be assigned to be their permanent chef.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 01-05-16 @ 7:42am
: Quite. Kangaroo tail soup for starters, then a nice fillet of crocodile, some camel stew and a portion of braised emu. Should keep anyone quiet, I imagine, even you, Steev, and keeping you quiet is a major undertaking.

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-10-16 @ 12:27am
: I prefer squirrels.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 01-11-16 @ 4:14am
: I hear they make good lovers but unreliable husbands.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 01-12-16 @ 5:24am
: So they may be (unreliable husbands). However, what do you hear about their qualities as wives? Eh? Answer me that, Mr Friction Wizurd. I'm sure lady squirrels are charming and obedient - do you know any currently unattached ones?

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 01-12-16 @ 1:27pm
: They do love to grab nuts, so if you are into that... marry a squirrel, but personally I find their chattering and irritability a little off putting. It would take more than having a big fluffy tail for me to get past that.

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-17-16 @ 1:52am
: *shutting mouth now* Someone get a weed-whacker!!!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 01-17-16 @ 8:42am
: Ah, a big fluffy tail. What wonderous possibilities that conjours up. Not so much the fluffy bit, but I'm a sucker for big tails!

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-20-16 @ 12:37am
: Pfftt! Ever seen an anteater?

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 01-20-16 @ 5:37am
: I'd rather see than be one.

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-21-16 @ 10:00pm
: But what about the tail?!

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-24-16 @ 5:32pm
: You know, because it's sooo bushy!

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 01-25-16 @ 8:48am
: Well, it all depends. There are anteaters and there are anteaters. One Australian version, the echidna is one of only two known monotremes (the duck billed platypus is the other) and looks something like a small porcupine, and has a long sticky tongue.

Battler: Steev the Friction Wizurd
Hours: 01-25-16 @ 5:11pm
: Oooo, long sticky tongue! You can have the tail.

Battler: catty
Hours: 01-26-16 @ 12:14am
: Not a good mental image I must say.

Battler: catty
Hours: 02-03-16 @ 11:45pm
: I have a lovely tail already. And my tongue is perfect too.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 02-03-16 @ 11:53pm
: Yes, but your tongue is quite rough, catty. Perfect for grooming your coat, I guess, but a bit rough around my delicate skin!

Battler: catty
Hours: 02-11-16 @ 10:10pm
: Never! Besides, your skin isn't that delicate, I can show you with my claws if you'd like.

Battler: catty
Hours: 02-15-16 @ 10:01pm
: Being in high demand for sharp claws is very serious work.

Battler: catty
Hours: 02-18-16 @ 7:13pm
: *still sharpening* The curve of the claw must be seductive in its roundness but terrifying in it's ability to flay skin one layer at a time.

Battler: ☮ The Grum Of Grums
Hours: 05-05-16 @ 8:01am
: You ain't telling no lies, catty. I've got the scars on my hands to show where one of your cousins decided he preferred to bite rather than purr. But he does get a bit excited and a bit territorial; he believes that he owns our bed!

Battler: catty
Hours: 07-05-16 @ 11:17pm
: All beds belong to the cat. Even in cat-less households. They were invented by cats, for cats. We love our beds. All beds are ours. Leave the bed. Now. No, really. Leave, I want the warm spot.

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