Keijo Ramasuki wasn't your run of the mill shinobi. In fact, to call him a ninja would be technically incorrect. He did work for the Leaf Village government, but unfortunately, he failed the Chunin exam twice because of his notoriously poor chakra molding abilities. It was at that point when the head of his cell realized Keijo would be better suited for alternative work.
And that's how he arrived here, with a small office as a psychological consultant for the Leaf Village. His objective- find out what made the enemies of Leaf operate, and suggest how field ninjas could exploit those opportunities.
Foreign affairs weren't the only thing that Ramasuki dealt with however. He also consulted ninja on domestic affairs, both personal and professional, such as his 12:15 appointment.
"Mr Naruto Umazaki is here to see you sir."
"Ah yes, send him in."
Through the door walked a somewhat tall blonde haired ninja in a black and orange jumpsuit. With what appeared to be a stack of letters in one hand, he grinned.
"Nice place ya got here."
Keiji batted an eyebrow. The famous Leaf genin, albeit famous for all the wrong reasons, wanted to see him. Nevertheless, a client was a client.
"Ah yes, Mr. Umazaki. Please, have a seat."
Choosing instead to lie down on a group of chairs, Naruto looked on, never removing his grin. "So, you're the shrink Kakashi told me to meet?"
"Yes, Mr. Kakashi was given my card by a close friend. But we're not here to talk about your cell leader, right?"
Nodding, the blond-haired ninja handed Keiji the stack of letters in his hand, his grin finally dissapearing. "I think someone has a crush on me."
Keiji read the letters over with interest. All of them seemed to have the same thing, drawings of various women eating Naruto whole or in part, with cryptic wording such as "I want us to become whole," or "I want the taste of your ramen on my lips" accompanying the pictures. The last few photos didn't show Naruto at all, just the girl with a bloated stomach, the kind expected if she had swallowed a teenage male whole.
"Well?"
"It appears Mr. Umazaki, that you have a stalker."
Naruto didn't appear impressed by Keiji's deduction. "No shit. What I wanna know is who it is and why does it look like she wants to eat me?"
Looking on at the letters, Keiji made several noises of acknowledgment before finally asking, "Is there anyone who wants to kill you or harbors a personal grudge against you?"
"Where do I start?" Naruto asked with a laugh. "The black haired emo-kid, the snake-sennin, or the elite assassin squad?"
Keiji stared wide-eyed. He knew the kid was hated, but this...
"Well, that's a dead end. Besides, I don't think the person wants to kill you in the conventional sense."
"Hmm?"
"Normally, when the stalker doesn't receive the total acknowledgment from the object that she, I'd assume it's a she anyway from the fact that every single drawing has a female present, anyway, that she needs, the stalker needs to kill the object of her obsession in order to rid herself of the urges. However, in this case, it seems that total acknowledgment for the female in question would involve eating you whole, to literally become one with you in a completely different way. Only by completely having your being inside her can she truly be satisfied."
The blond haired genin just stared, only appearing to have understood half of what he was told. "So she still wants to kill me?"
Keiji nodded. "Unless she knows something about eating people that I don't, then yes, she does appear to want to kill you. Now Mr. Umazaki, is there anyone you know that would...feel this way towards you?"
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