This choice: Look at some of the other books • Go Back...Chapter #4Look at some of the other books by: syke   Deciding to put off food for the time being, you stifle a burp and look at some of the other titles. One in particular jumps out at you.
"The adventures of Ian?" You take the book off the shelf and see an illustration of yourself on the cover. "The hell?"
You open it and look at the title page. The picture under the title is again one of you, but this time it shows you in your more bloated state. It even has a little speech bubble containing a *burp*. You then burp, as if in response.
You look at the first chapter and it reads exactly like everything that's happened so far. You see that the book is set up like one of those 'choose your own adventure' novels, with options at the bottom of each section and directions to other pages. Never being the type of guy that read these you flip to a random page somewhere in the middle. You see a picture of yourself, only that it looks like your stomach has swollen to the size of a beach ball. It looks like you're struggling against some vines or something. You're grasping onto one with both your hands as it looks like it's forcing its way into your mouth. Another seems to have manged to worm its way into your pants via your exposed butt crack. On further inspection you see that the picture of you also has... pitched a rather strong tent.
"What the *f-uuuurrrrp* is this?" You look at text and you spy the word loveweed. You pick up the Omnibus again and find its entry.
"A curious specimen that derives its name from the behaviour it displays during its reproductive cycle. The plant lures an animal to its main bed with enticing smells. Curiously, it chooses to mimic the smell of roasting meat, thereby attracting omniverous and carniverous animals, rather than the typical herbiverous and pollen feeding species one would expect. Once the animal is in close proximity to the main body of the plant, the loveweed releases a pheromone to subdue its target. Human subjects often report an extreme sense of arousal upon exposure, with some more sensitive to it reporting multiple orgasms during the whole experience."
Well now you know where the love in loveweed comes from.
"The weed then penetrates the animal through which ever orifices are available, generally preferring the anus and mouth. After each vine-like appendage meet inside the animal, the plant then pumps a creamy liquid through each of its two vines, the amount of which varies due to the difference in time between each captive. After the plant has finished, it severs the two appendages involved, which proceed to enter the animal. These two pieces are not alive in themselves, but merely contract up to meet each other and sit in the liquid it deposited earlier. The roots quickly dissolve in this medium, and provide nourishment for the various developing seeds found within."
"It knocks you *phhhhht* up?" You say to yourself as you fart again.
"The seeds do not germinate in the host however, and eventually work their way through its digestive system. This provides an excellent mechanism for seed dispersal. Of particular note is that a plant may impregnate an animal more than once, and that multiple plants may involve themselves with one animal."
"Now that's a ticket onto Jerry Springer if i ever heard one." You say to yourself.
"Seeing as how the loveweed has a fairly non-descript appearance, it is easily confused with several other plants in its Family. Classification is further hindered by the fact that loveweed tends to grow in areas that said family members have colonised themselves. Also, each plant behaves in the same way in attracting and sometimes forcefully capturing an animal, though none use this as a means of germination. The other related plants include:
Airweed: more placid than the loveweed, it waits until an animal stimulates its vines, then proceeds to pump air. People commonly use the plant as an aid in diving, but quickly find that its continual pumping makes it difficult to stay under water.
Gasweed: as aggressive as the loveweed, it deposits many small, soft pods in the animal and only stops when it senses that the animal has reached its limit. As the pods ripen, their liquid begins to bubble and upon bursting, instantly vapourise. This causes most victims to experience various amounts of bloating and severe gas attacks. As the pods are at different ages when deposited, the effect tends to continue for quite some time and at sporadic phases. As the gasweed is capable of depositing hundreds of these pods, victims can become quite inflated.
Waterweed: placid like the airweed, it pumps a water-like substance into the animal. In the event that another liquid source is nearby, it may transport that via its root system to the captive.
Vanillaweed: with a temperament like the waterweed and airweed, it pumps a calorie rich, thick, vanilla-like substance to the victim. Unlike other weeds, it only enters via the mouth. The vanilla milk was often used by locals to help the under nourished, as the body is capable of quickly absorbing the nutrients and converting it to fat.
Foamweed: more slender than the otherweeds, this variety does not pump anything into its victims, but rather, severs it appendages once it has invaded or after a given time period once it has been stimulated. The thin weed then decomposes after while and produces a foam-like substance. In animals, this foam migrates out of the stomach through to the rest of the body, giving an impression of all over body growth or inflation. The foam will only decompose into gas with certain agents (see entry Foamweed). This property, along with the fact that appendages will decompose outside of a host make it an excellent material for padding protection or even floatation devices.
Spongeweed: another weed that does not deposit anything into its victims besides parts of itself. A thin yet incredibly dense (it cannot be chewed or cut through and once it invades, it will continue to do so until the vine finishes), on its own, spongeweed does nothing. It is in fact quite beneficial to most healthy animals, quite often fighting off the effects of other toxins and agents. That it is the most aggressive member of the family may appear odd to some, until it's behaviour with other species is noted. Spongeweed absorbs any liquids from other weeds (and is capable of recognising liquids passed from waterweed) and quickly swells in size. The capacity to which it does so has yet to be recorded and some say there is no limit. It then manufactures a light gas, whose high activity makes it far more volumous than any other gas produced by the island inhabitants. The buoyancy of this gas even affects the host on land, with the subject appearing to bounce quite a bit when moving. This lack of coordination can prove haphazard, as other weeds are sure to be present nearby. This is particularly troublesome with the gasweed, as spongeweed invades the pods and produces twice as much gas as would normally occur. The process continues sporadically, although spongeweed's production of the gas tends to relate to how disturbed it is while in the gut. Victims report an increased sensitisation of skin, a pleasant sensation that results in further agitation and thus inflation.
A curious feature of these plants is that none of them seem to be in direct competition with one another, and as with the loveweed, are all more that willing to use the same victim more that once and also after different species. It has also been noted that some will penetrate at the same time, usually by one of the more aggressive species piggy backing on another."
Looking back at "The Adventures of Ian" you wonder about your future.
"It's a choose your own adventure book, so it might not happen."
Flicking through a few more pages you see yourself in different situations. On one page you're eating a mushroom, on another you're really obese. You flick by one that has a picture of Mr Rush handing you a trophy- wait what was that one? You try to find it again, but no luck.
So you really will win this competition! Maybe you should use this book. You flick through to another page and see a picture of you and Adam being attacked by the vines, the two of you looking fairly bloated.
Maybe you should just stick to following your (now bloated) gut. On the other hand, you can always skip a few pages ahead then choose a different path.
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