This choice: The lady, embaressed, apoligizes. • Go Back...
Chapter #4
Lisa Squared
by: Unknown
“Oohf!” Lisa wheezed, as the width of the woman forced her into a door frame.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” The woman gasped, catching Lisa before she slumped. She dragged her over to a chair in the lobby.
“It’s all right,” Lisa replied, trying to breathe normally. “I should have not tried to cut you off.”
“No, I’m really sorry,” the woman of girth said as she sat in the next chair. “I was trying to get away from you because I thought you were dangerous.”
Lisa’s eyes grew big with shock. “You thought I was dangerous?”
“Well, I’m not disrespecting for figure or anything, but are you in fact…skinny?”
Lisa looked down at her frame. She wasn’t athleticly thin, but she was lean by South Barkalow standards. Then she looked at the woman, whose body type was a juicy apple shape that contained what looked like double the amount of Lisa’s weight. “I’m thin, if that’s what you mean…”
“Oh no, not that kind of skinny. Two words: Skin Knee. It’s a criminal gang comprised of citizens from the town’s 2% underweight population. I thought you might have been one of them. They’ve been plaguing the city for quite some time now.”
“The criminals are skinny people?” Lisa asked with amazement.
“It makes sense, when you think about it. South Barkalow’s economy is dominated by food sales. The Skin Knees are most noted for their timed robberies of local restaurants when the registers are full. Unfortunately, the Skin Knees are faster and nimbler than many town residents.”
Lisa instinctively reached into her purse for a notepad. “Interesting…”
“Oh, so sorry, where are my manners?” The plump woman grasped Lisa’s hand in a quick handshake. “I’m Lisa, Lisa Lugolia.”
“Really? I’m Lisa Boytise.”
“Get out! I guess Lisa is a common name.”
Really common, Lisa thought. She glanced at Lisa Lugolia’s waist again. It figures that my South Barkalow counterpart would be twice my size. She glanced up, realizing that Miss Lugolia recognized what she was looking at. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to stare—”
“Don’t worry about it. Lot’s of newcomers and tourists usually stare.”
“Still, it’s not the right thing to do Lisa.”
“Call me Lugolia. Given our homophonic fist names it will make things easier.” Lugolia grunted again as she adjusted the hem of her skirt. “To tell you the truth, I’m not really used to it either. This is the most that I’ve ever weighed in my life.”
“Truly? May I ask how much—?”
“I just passed the 250 mark. Last year I was below average at 175 pounds. But when I got the promotion to work with the mayor I had to gain weight. The board sort of pressures you into meeting a certain weight requirement.”
“You work with the mayor?” Lisa asked.
Lugolia nodded. “Recently elected to the City Council. I also head the Finance & Economic Committee.”
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