Hello!, My name is Mark and I am the landlord of Riverside Apartments.
I'm usually home unless I'm away, I like to keep things simple that way. If you have any troubles, get me right away if it's an emergency, otherwise slip a trouble sheet under my door and I'll get to it as soon as I can.
I spend most of my nights watching black & white reruns on my 55" color tv. I keep the volume down, so as not to disturb the other tenants and visitors walking past my door on their way to the stairway or elevator, which, by the way, has a mind of it's own. I'll leave you with that, so be forewarned should you prefer to risk your life in that ... that ... steel contraption of a box rather than taking the stairs, which, by the way, is better for your health, unless of course you have a heart condition.
The Riverside Apartment building is located on the bus route; I've posted the schedule on the bulletin board. If you'd like a copy of your own, slip a dollar in my mail box with your apt number paper-clipped to it and I'll put a schedule in yours. If you give me two dollars, I'll include a copy of the menu to the Chinese restaurant down the street.
I'd much prefer if you'd iron out your complaints amongst yourselves. I'm not good with drama and I hate to have to pick sides. Besides, Riverside Apartments has a reputation to uphold.
At the time of this writing, all the units on the second floor are available. When those fill up, head on up to the third floor. Just remember, 201 is right above my apartment.
And finally, as your landlord of Riverside Apartments, have the right to:
* Search your apartment.
* Make any repairs if necessary.
* Evict you.
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