“Oh dear?” Leonard reiterated. “This girl worshipped the ground you walked on, and then you threw her out of the apartment!”
“You’re right, Leonard. She’ll see this as a chance to get back on my good side, and jump at the chance to help me!”
“So long as she doesn’t do any jumping any time soon,” Howard muttered, casting his eyes up and down (but mainly up) the monumental sneakers standing in the doorway.
“Yeah, at the moment she’s so fat she’s makes Howard’s momma look like a petite dumpling,” Raj added.
Howard rounded on him. “Yo momma jokes? Really? At a time like this?”
“I thought that a little levity might lighten the mood, dude.”
“It might’ve done, if that had been at all funny. Leave the jokes to the professionals, okay?”
“Fine, but if you ask me, I was giving yo momma a compliment.”
“She is standing rather still,” Leonard said.
“Of course; if Howard’s mom moves too fast, she might fall, and no one wants to see that.”
“Not Howard’s mom, Ramona! Why’s she just standing there?”
“Probably wondering where I am, so she can apologise to me,” Sheldon beamed. “I think it’s only polite for me to put her out of her misery.”
With a swagger to his step, Sheldon stepped toward Ramona’s right foot, seemingly unconcerned that with his arms fully extended above his head he would only just have been able to reach over the toe of her shoe. His friends lacked that self-confidence.
“Should we, maybe, try to restrain him?” Leonard said. “None of us want to see Sheldon squashed like a bug, right?”
“Rather him than me,” Howard offered. At Leonard’s look, he quickly spoke again. “Fine, fine; if it’ll put you at ease, I’ll chase after the little lug and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself.” He gulped. “Although I do warn you, at the first sign of trouble I am running straight away.”
“Yes, you know well to fear the large women, don’t you?”
“Still not funny, Raj.”
“Fine. But while he’s off with Sheldon, what should we do?”
“I don’t know. Maybe we should hide by the couch until we get an idea of how this thing’s gonna turn out…”
Leonard and Raj scurried across the floor hastily, while high above Ramona began to speak, her voice thundering down at the apartment floor.
“Doctor Cooper? I know that we didn’t part on good terms, and you probably don’t want to see me again, but my conscience wouldn’t keep me away. You see, when you threw me out, I took something of yours as a little keepsake, to remember the good times we had together. But it’s not right, and I’ll just… I’ll just leave it on the floor here, and you can come pick it up when I’m gone.”
She began to stoop, her form descending rapidly upon tiny Sheldon below.
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