"What else? The sex golems. We've had to shut down everything. Again."
Another problem with the damn things. It had been a simple enough scheme to begin with - take a cheap, streamlined golem, insert it into a mold in the shape of a desirable woman, fill the mold with pink slime and leave it to congeal. Voila! Instant, obedient sex slave.
Sure, you weren't the first entrepreneur to think of using golems for sex but it had always been a niche market, the appeal of sticking your penis into a metal slit generally losing its appeal the first time it gets caught in a cog. You had been the first to attempt fusing the idea with a flesh-substitute in the form of slime. It should have moved thousands of units.
Except the project had become mired in problems, and had only just begun to leave the production line.
First there had been the problem of supply; paying huge numbers of adventurers to go out and hunt vast quantities of slimes. It wasn't cheap. Then it had taken months of experimenting with different blends to find the exact cocktail of slime breeds to produce the right colour and correct consistency. Too thick and the joints couldn't flex. Too thin and the flesh just dripped off. In the end it had required powdered cattle bones to get it to coagulate in the molds.
After that had been encountered the issue with the slime getting inside the golem and gumming up the intricate clockwork mechanisms. You'd had to use sealant on all the joints, applied by hand.
The most recent problem had been caused by the adventurers cutting corners on supply as the local pink slime population fell. They'd started sneaking in highly-acidic green slimes right under the noses of the colour-blind goblins; it had contaminated every single vat, forcing you to flush them out, sterilise everything and start over.
"What is it now?"
"One of the golems went insane and killed three of the production workers."
"Please tell me you're joking."
"I'm not. It hadn't even been activated yet. It just stepped off the production line and tore a guy's arm off, then proceeded to beat two others to death with it. They've barricaded the factory but its still in there. Until somebody goes in there and shuts it down, we can't resume anything."
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