Chapter #5Changing Tactics by: Unknown The next week, you're busy at work, giving the succubus giantess Lee a manicure. However, you knew you were expecting bad company so you figured you'd paint a little message on the fingernails. The succubus night singer looks down in confusion. "What are you doing human?" she asks. "I didn't request that paint job." "Oh this," you say as you finish painting a P on Lee's thumbnail. "It's, uh, the latest thing." Lee takes a closer look and reads the message, since the succubus used to be a human, she recognized the letters slightly. "Mxyzp... oh, I remember that guy. Not by much though. I never was much of a comic fan. Don't paint that on my pinkies though, I want them red for a little contrast." "Yes ma'am," you say. "And one.. two..."
There's a puff of smoke and Kltpzyxm appears again. You let out a sigh. "Don't you have anything better to do?" you ask. "Uh-uh," says Kltpzyxm with a smirk. "You denied me my fun last time, but this time..." "This time I'm at work and as you can see I'm working on a succubus, you know how nasty they can get when you don't pay attention to them. There, done Lee." Lee smiles and then holds up her nail. "You've just got to try out this nail job. This little guy is the best in the business." Kltpzyxm lowers her head to get a closer look at Lee's nails before she reads the letters inscribed on them. Once she realizes what they spell, her eyes pop and she glares at you. "I hate you so much right now!" With that, Kltpzyxm vanishes in a puff of smoke. Lee lets out a scoff. "Jealous," she says. "Simply jealous."
The succubus holds up her foot and you see her massive hoof in front of you. "Don't forget the pedicure Neil. Try to make it flash." "And while you're at it," says Prima. "If that friend of yours comes back, tell her about the sign." The mammoth giantess points to a "no-smoking" sign as you work on Lee's massive hoof.
One week later, you're already waiting for Kltpzyxm to appear and start the process over again. At that moment you're visiting with your sister Meryl and playing a game of chess with Flint, your golem brother in law. As you push one of your pawns forward, Flint notices you're troubled. "Something bothering you Neil?" your brother-in-law asks. "You might say that Flint," you say. "I'm expecting company and not looking forward to it. And no, it's not Cattleya. This time." Flint moves his bishop to take your pawn and then rubs his chin. "Worse than Cattlya? How is that even possible."
You move a knight forward and stop to catch your breath. "Well, I don't know if Meryl already told you but back on Earth we have comic books involving heroes and villains. You must have heard of Superman right? Well, he has an enemy called Mr. Mxyzptlk." Flint raises an eye slab at that before moving a pawn forward. "That's a funny name." "There's nothing funny about him," you say. "He's an annoying trickster that can warp reality. The only way to get rid of him is to get him to say his name backwards, Kltpzyxm." Flint actually lets out a laugh at that as his stone body makes noises.
"Don't laugh. I recently ran into someone just like Mxyzptlk named Kltpzyxm. Meryl ran into her too." Meryl comes forward and places drinks on the table. A glass for Flint and a thimble for you. "Believe me dear," says Meryl to Flint. "That babe is dangerous and she's gonna be on the warpath now that Neil's outsmarted her thrice. Does Maggie know about this?" You just take a drink. "She'd probably think I was crazy if I told her. I'm worried. Kltpzyxm should've been here by now." "Maybe she gave up." Says Flint. You shake your head. "No," you say. "If she's anything like Mxyzptlk. I doubt it."
At that time, Kltpzyxm was flying overhead and was in a sour mood. "I can't believe it. He fooled me three times. I'm not gonna take this anymore! Maybe I better change tactics. There has got to be somebody in this town who hates this punk as much as I do.
As Kltpzyxm flies over your house, she looks across the street to the home of Meagan the were fox, your ex-girlfriend. Inside there are photographs on the wall of you that have knives jabbed into them and Meagan appeared to be chewing on an effigy of you. Twenty-years and she still has a grudge. "Hmm," says Kltpzyxm. "Interesting. But I wonder." Kltpzyxm then proceeds to fly downtown above your mother-in-law Cattleya's house. Inside Cattleya was washing dishes but Kltpzyxm saw inside that there was a photograph of you on a dartboard. "Interesting," says Kltpzyxm. "It seems that there are two hotheads who sound like fun. Maybe we can team up against Neil, or maybe they could be good for a laugh."
Who does Kltpzyxm decide to visit?  indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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