You immediately get the feeling that it is obvious that this spider can talk and you have no doubt that it is good.
"When did you learn to speak English, this places has been sealed for thousands of years of nobody could have taught you" Rick asks.
"I completely analysed the language centre of your brain. I calibrated it with the thoughts you had whilst you were looking at the murals. I now know every word that you know, including a lot that you don't know that you know, I could make a fairly go guess at a lot more of them. I didn't look at any other bits of your brain, that would be rude," explained the tiny spider.
"How did you know I was going to come here, that last carving must be thousands of years old?" Rick asks, just a little bit worried
"I didn't that mural was made only when you came in, but also thousands of years ago." the spider explains and Rick is really confused "This temple is actually a vessel for travelling across space and dimensions. It can speed up or slow down the passage of time of any space within it. It can't travel back though, the laws of physics in the this universe are a pain in that way. It can also shape-shift into almost anything," boasts spider as it made some fancy golden idol exude from the wall.
"So are the murals are prophecy or something that happened before?" asks Rick.
"A bit of both. The shown here is actually my, well I guess father is close enough. He landed on another version of your planet about 50 000 years ago. You've already seen what he did. Me and all my, lets say brothers, were blasted into space and across several nearby dimensions. I was supposed to do the same sort of thing that my father had done, but better from having learned from him but there was a bit of a delay," admits the spider with embarrassment.
"So that happens, why isn't the whole galaxy orbiting around you already?" Ricks asks.
"The thing is that I, and my vessel get all of our powers from the positive thoughts of sapient beings. I should be had enough power to find one of them," confesses the spider
"But you landed on the wrong continent tens of thousands of years before humans got there. You mustn't have had enough power to cross the ocean and even known if there was anyone on the other side, so you've been suck here," rick postulates.
"That's it. I had so little power left I couldn't even stop myself from getting buried. There was some sort of event year before you started digging, it released all sorts of positive thoughts, whilst they weren't about me and so weren't nearly as effective they gave me enough power to make this temple. I thought that if I made something interesting enough somebody smart would come and look at them and wake me up properly. Looks like it worked," expositioned the spider.
"So I guess the plan now is, well this this" you say pointing to the mural. "You going to have to go it differently because me already know all of that stuff."
"That's always the plan with my people. Finds sapience, help them to advance, grow to cosmic sizes create spawn and repeat. We'll keep at it until every lifeform on every planet in every galaxy in every universe and all of everything has a spider god to look after them," proclaimed the spider.
"From anyone else that would be terrifying but I have the feeling that the planet could use a giant spider to help out. Pity you weren't there from the beginning or a lot of trouble could have been avoided. You've got 50 000 so years of lost time to make up for, how do we start?" asks Rick with great conviction.
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