Chapter #5Duke Weaselton by: Unknown The leopard--not an old cat but one that had seen middle age come and gone--scratched at a graying spot and sucked his bottom lip. "And... these really work?"
"Of course they work!" Duke Weaselton beamed his brightest, which was still dull. His eyes gave the appearance of being narrowed no matter how wide he opened them, and his smile never quite straightened out. His teeth seemed to be pointing in all directions as though preparing to flee at the next inevitable beating.
The weasel waved one paw slowly over a folding table strewn with flasks of bright, unnatural colors. Hastily slapped-on stickers made bright, shiny promises of youth, vigor, strength, and power.
"These are the kinda secrets that they" he leaned in and half-covered his mouth with the back of one hand in conspiratorial whisper, "Don't want you to know about. Big Pharma, you know, Monkeysanto and Glaxo-Smith-Feline. These are the things that can make a guy like you or me feel like a real predator again."
He realized as he said it he shouldn't. The 'or me.' Comparing the two of them was too much of a promise and he felt his customer building up walls, the leopard looking the little weasel up and down. A shirt that didn't fit, too much belly and too skinny at that. He was losing the deal now, and had to try one last hail mary to get him back.
"I mean, if it can make a guy like this," he gestured to himself, as he looked down, and rubbing the stomach that stuck out between high shirt and low pants, "Feel like a real predator, imagine what it could do for you."
Duke could feel it was about to work. The leopard turned this over in his mind and seemed to be badly resisting temptation. "Well," he said, and reached out a hand slowly, but looked up wide-eyed and frightened. He turned around in the quick and nonchalant way of the guilty, and strolled away at twice a normal walking pace.
Duke didn't need to turn around to know what was there. He sighed, defeated, and turned around to the cop car. He leaned on his table and said "Ain't you guys got any real bad guys to find you gotta keep pickin' on me?"
The window rolled down, the driver revealing themselves to be...   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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