"Plump up that body of yours. A girl needs her PHAT to look Fetch!"
It had been two weeks and that damn phrase haunted Jesse’s life. He would answer to Jasmine when Aunt Kelly would call him, but he was still Jesse damn it! “I’m still Jesse,” he assured himself in the most weak and pathetic voice a man could muster.
“What was that Jasmine?” Kelly asked.
“Nothing,” Jasmine replied weakly.
“Oh, that’s totes cool. Now drink up dear, or you’ll never get PHAT!” Kelly motioned towards the milkshake in front of her nephew/niece. It would be Jasmine’s fourth in under 90 minutes, and (s)he was getting filled. And as for getting PHAT Jasmine had to beg to differ, as the newly added 23 pounds said she was plenty PHAT right now. “You’re like totes skin and bones!”
“Skin and bones? Aunt Kelly my abs are gone! I’ll probably never get them back!” Jasmine complained.
FFFFRRRRRRTTTTT!
“That’s what a PHAT girl thinks of that! Now hurry up! I want to grab an entrée from every restaurant we can before we head home for our pre-dinner snack!” Kelly laughed bubbly. She waddled down the street to an outdoor café, which she told Jasmine she would absolutely die for.
Jasmine looked around the restaurant at all the PHAT women and their daughters as Kelly got them a table. Kelly and Jasmine were dressed in matching cheetah print tracksuits and wedge sandals, Kelly with the word PHAT GRRL on her ass and on Jasmine’s ass PHAT GRRL with a bedazzled IN TRAINING below it. And yet they didn’t stick out at all. Even Kelly’s voluminous blond ringlets and Jasmine’s matching wig were conservative in this room. “This whole town is so weird,” Jasmine grumbled.
“Yeah, you’re the one to judge PHATTY,” a girl(?) scoffed at Jasmine with a voice that was deeper than he was comfortable with. The PHATTY comment bothered Jasmine though, did she really look that much heavier? (S)he admitted that he(r) booty was a little bigger and (s)he had the beginnings of some moobs, but did (s)he really look that more feminine?
“C’mon cutie, I got us a table!” Kelly giggled. They were shown to their table where Kelly decided to warm the seat up with a fart.
TTTHHHHRRRPPPTTT!
It was like a call to other PHAT girls of her kind as almost every one else reciprocated Kelly’s fart in the restaurant, including the wait staff. Jasmine just watched amazed, and was late to realize that now everyone was staring at her waiting for her to do the same. “Oh,” Jasmine smiled nervously. She leaned to the side and tried to push out a fart. Her face contorted and a drop of sweat rolled down the side of her face until-!
FART!
“My PHATTY PHAT PAHTALICIOUS Gurl! Kelly clapped as the hustle and bustle of the restaurant commenced again. The fondue came and the two sampled the chocolate fountain. Kelly busied herself by gossiping about each woman who came under her gaze to Jasmine.
It was during this gossiping that a lull in the conversation came about. It was of course Kelly who broke the silence, “Jasmine, I want to tell you how much it means to me that you want to be a PHAT girl like me.”
“Oh dear God,” Jasmine thought. “This is going to just make me shrivel up on the inside.”
“I tried to get your mother to be a PHAT girl like me,” Kelly told her wistfully.
“Yeah you mentioned.”
“Yeah,” she twirled a ringlet as s he got a far away look in her eyes, “You mother never wanted to snack with me, or fat with me, or go clubbing with me, or get laid with me,” she snickered at that one. “She never wanted to party with me or fart with me…”
“You said that already.”
“She really never wanted to do that,” Kelly smirked. “It was like our mother was ashamed of me or something. And if that was true then that makes me, like, real sad.”
Jasmine gulped. (S)he didn’t know what to say, but then it occurred to him/her, “C’mon Aunt Kelly, since when is a PHAT girl sad when she has food?”
Kelly brightened up and smiled, “No, no it’s not!”
“So what would a PHATTY PHAT like you say to those dumb thoughts about my mom being ashamed of having the hawtest PHAT girl for a sister?”
“She’d say blow it out your PHAT ass!”
FFFRRRRAAAPPPTTTT!