“You know, honey,” your mom muses as she holds you in her lap, “there’s just so much that has to get done right now. The house is a mess, and needs to be cleaned top to bottom. Then there are a bunch of errands I have to run. And I’ve been meaning to tackle that big project in the basement, and finally get that workout room completed. I’m sorry, sweetie, but there’s just no time for fun and games today.”
You breathe a sigh of relief. As much as you love your mom, and hate having to compete for her attention, you did not feel like spending an entire day avoiding a mishap from this woman, who in her overly perky, bubbly state, becomes particularly accident-prone. Thankfully, your mom will be too busy working today, so that you can have that nice, relaxing time to yourself that you originally planned on. You do your best to feign disappointment as you react to her news.
“That’s alright, Momma,” you reply, doing your best to hold back any sign of elation in your voice. “We can always do that another time. I know you’re really busy today, and have too much to do. I guess I’ll just stay out of your waaaarrrgh...”
Your face is suddenly stretched like elastic as your mom grabs your cheek and playfully pulls it up and down, rendering you unable to speak. Her next words once again squelch all hopes of you having an easy-going, accident-free day. “And guess what?” she continues, with the same chipper tone as before, “You get to be Mommy’s special little helper for all of it. It’s going to be so much easier if we do it all together.”
Trish lets go of your cheek, letting it snap back at your face like a rubber band, leaving you dizzy, slightly distorted. This was not good. You are once again resigned to spending a day tied to your mother’s apron strings, and she once again placed you directly within the radius of her clumsiness. You try to protest, but are momentarily unable to speak as a result of the cheek-pinching your mom gave you moments ago.
“I know, sweetheart,” Trish says in response to your moaning. “It’s not what you wanted to do today. But time will go by so fast when we do it together. And who knows, maybe we will have some fun. After all, it’s going to be a big, long day of Jack-Mom time.” Before you can say anything else, your mother grips you tightly in her arms and whisks you off for a day that would be boring at best and hazardous to you at the worst.
“Let’s see,” Trish mutters as you struggle to free yourself from her iron grip, “What should we do first?”
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