(Chapter originally written by worstfailure)
"I heard you talking to that girl," Piper spoke to Jenna while still scowling at you. "Is it true this guy's your brother?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Jenna sighed. "My big brother, actually."
"Then say no more. I believe you when you said he had it coming," Piper said, her problems with her own brother clearly being projected on to you.
"Oh he has waaaaay more coming to him than that," Jenna said lightly. "The day is young, after all."
"Jenna, wait, please--"
You tried to protest but Jenna put down her soda, then grabbed your lips between her fingertips and pinched them together, smushing them into what looked like a fleshy duckbill.
"Shush," Jenna said. "The important people are talking, Matt."
Piper let out another high-pitched gremlin-like cackle as she watched you trying to desperately pry your mouth open.
"I can't tell you how jealous I am of you!" Piper said, when she finally got the giggles out. "I wish I was regular-sized so much! Then I could wipe that stupid smug smile off Doug's face. I could do anything I wanted to him! I could squash him like a bug, or trick women into crushing him like you do. I could even--"
UUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPP!
Piper was interrupted by Ally Gator's stock belch sound effect signaling Froginner had once again failed to escape his belly prison.
"--do that," Piper murmured too low for Jenna to hear.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Piper said quickly.
"So you never tried getting your brother squashed?" Jenna asked, as if it was the most natural sounding thing in the world.
"I tried! But it never went well. I tried to push him down onto the couch when mom was about to sit down once and once into her jogging shoes, but he saw me coming each time, sidestepped and I'm the one who fell and got flattened both times! And now I've lost my chance. He only ever comes down for holidays now and it's only to rub it in my face what a big-shot he is and... what a loser I am," Piper mumbled.
Jenna considered the tiny woman in front of her. She was a strange one, no doubt about that, but Jenna couldn't help but like her for some reason.
"Well, you're in luck, cutie," Jenna said, smiling. "In addition to being fluent in French, I am also fluent in Pranking, and, since I was going to have some fun with this little idiot anyway," she said, motioning towards you again, "how would you like to try my patented tiny brother pranking class, absolutely free?"
"You mean it?!" Piper asked excitedly, like she'd just been offered the keys to a kingdom.
"Absolument!" Jenna said, lowering her other hand for Piper to board. Jenna had spent so long hiding her pranks from her family and friends, it felt nice to have someone appreciate her genius.
Piper was deposited on her classmates shoulder and told to secure herself by tying a strand of Jenna's dirty blonde hair around her waist. Piper eagerly did so, unable to believe her current situation or stop herself from enjoying the intoxicating fragrance of Jenna's lavender shampoo scented hair. Her heart racing and her face flushed as Piper took in the visage of the goddess-like beauty she was allowed to set foot on. She couldn't believe what was happening! It was like something out of one of her wildest dreams! How many times had she snuck glances at the glasses-wearing beauty who sat in the back of her French class and spoke with a voice like honey in her ears? She'd been convinced her crush would never even notice her! And now, here Jenna was, about to whisk her away for a day together! Piper decided there was no time like the present. She was going to shoot her shot.
"So," Piper said trying to sound as flirtatious as possible, "when you pick up cute chicks, you do it literally?"
Jenna chuckled at that. "If only it was this easy to get a date. You see how fast that girl brought up her boyfriend to shut me down? Honestly, it might be better if I take a break from dating for a while." Jenna shook her head ruefully, then shot Piper a playful smirk. "At least I got a new little friend to spend time with."
OUCH. You may have spent fifteen minutes having your entire body flattened under the foot of a dancing woman but that didn't hurt anywhere near as much as the sympathy pain you felt from hearing Piper getting friendzoned. It'd been abundantly obvious to you that Piper was flirting with your sister, but Jenna seemed completely oblivious to the blatant signals Piper had been throwing out. You had no idea if Jenna would ever pursue a romantic relationship with a tiny woman, let alone someone like Piper, but that had still been absolutely brutal to watch.
Desperately trying to cover up her embarrassment, Piper looked away and caught your eye again instead. She scowled as if she thought you were laughing at her getting rejected. It didn't take a degree in psychology to realize Piper was projecting her feelings of resentment for her jackass of her brother on to you, and intended to vicariously live out her revenge fantasies towards him through Jenna's torment of you. Not that knowing why someone was about to do something horrible to you made it any less dreadful anticipating that horrible thing happening. Especially with the malicious gleam in Piper's mint green eyes.
Piper turned to Jenna, "What're you gonna do to him first?"
Jenna looked at you and considered...
Choice 1) Jenna flicks you under the butt of one of the women racing on the replica motorcycles.
Choice 2) Writer's Choice
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