well i was not the person i am now back then you see i was raised up in a cathloic family and instead of listening in mass i crawled around under the pews. and i didnt belive in god at all. And in sunday school you always hear about how god dose things for a reason and well i was 1 of those kids that littraly got torn apart from all the teasing that he got every day of his lifeand it really sucked because this hapened every day of school every day of my life. so i went through elementry school and i was in 7th grade and i was at the middle school and as you can guess the picking got worse and i had few friends at all and so i manage through m7th grade and when 8th grade comes around all the people who had ever picked on me seemed to go at it with gusto and i tried to skip so manny times just not to go because it hurt so bad and agin out of no where im reading a book for class and in the book one of the characters(who was a preist) said god loves you and he will let nothing bad happen to you and i sat there and in the middle of class i said bull sh** there is no god and the teacher sent me to the office for that 1.
i went home and i knew i was gonna get it good from my parents and so i didnt want it happen and i wanted all of this to go away and so well my dad hunts and i know the combo to the gun safe and i will never forgit how the gun felt, how heave it was, the feeling if the cold steel on my head and i said to my self god f*** u if ur out there send me a sign not to do this. and paused..... and i was seriously so close to pulling the trigger when the phone rang and i got up and answered it... it was damien and he said hey jarrett are you coming to the confrmation retreat and i said yes.
i went to the retreat and there was this break where we where supose to got and talk with god and well i had alot on my mind and so i was thinking oh boy im giving you a peice of my mind and i go to a bench and sit down and said out loud alright why god...... why me what the heck are you doing to me hu? if you never let any thing bad happen to me then what the flip god wait im sorry there is no god im just talkin to my self here comon if there is really a god come down here comon right here right now lets see what you got you get the first hit( bnow remeber i was 14 and bullet proof then) and by then jule jones who i love so much came uhp and huged me and held me tight and said (i kid you not) jarret i love you and i will never let anything bad happen to you and the moment she said that the memory of the gun and the phone ringing came rushing in to my head and all of the suddedn i felt as if like i was on fire but it didnt hurt i was so on fire i felt like the sun i was burning i was on fire for god and as jule huged me i cried for the first time since childhood and i cried out for god and i went and prayed for others and after the mind blowing life changing exprince of the retreat where over juile jones came up to me and huged me and said jarrett you are so amazing i loved being aroun you every time i was i could feel the presenc of the holy sprit in you and it was intoxicating and it was the moment i belived and the fire that was lit has only kept growing and growing and lighting other peoples fire and that is my faith story
"truth is belife held in the mind but faith is a fire that burns deep in your heart"
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