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 Review #3998973 |
  Hi again dragon woman ! I am back for more of your Flash! ! Oh my gosh! This has a totally unexpected twist--to me anyway. Horrific too. It certainly reversed the reaction of visiting a dentist as usually the person feels the pain. Good show!  The title has us expecting pain and yet the patient has none. It keeps the mystery.You began with what looked to be an ordinary trip the dentist yet gave a misleading clue in the doctor's name! I loved the details about being shortsighted and descriptives like "muffled garble". "juicily" was an odd word to use too. You really present the mundane work of the dentist and the strange request to the patient in a clear way with vivid descriptive elements to give me a picture ,eg. speaking through wads, drool bib. and all the vocabulary effective for a dental office. The dialogue was purposeful and the line about dinner accident seemed normal til the end.Then I got the clue! LOL You hide these hints well. That he got paid in the end was a comic touch. I noticed some missing commas around phrases. eg. "mouthwash,of course,".." I really enjoyed reading this flash piece and it is amamzing how you get so much across in 300 words!  Light on the path as you write on! Eyestar ** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!"  .
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You responded to this review 06/01/2014 @ 9:24am EDT