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 Review #3998991 |
  HI J.Edwin Phillips! I am happy to do a review with to celebrate you! I found your piece on the Daily Flash Contest page! It is amazing to me that folks can write a whole story in 300 words! Your opening was strong hook as it began with an confrontation and amazing descriptive language that brought the epsiode to life. I really liked the sound elements like "Reggie, wedgie, and the alliteration in the first line. It added emphasis to the sterotypic character types of bully and bullied. Fun to read too though it was about a serious issue.. Character was well illustrated through dialogue and description and I could differentiate their tones. I had to grin at the italicized inner thoughts of the one who called the bully off. I Iiked his attitude and he seemed intelligent and honoured his word. My notices: I don' know if you needed the word "obviously". You need a comma after "said(,)laughing." and mabybe after "Alright then(,)" The tension is well done and I didn't expect the twist at the end. I was pleasantly surprised. It shows that bullies don't have to be all bad. I really enjoyed reading this well written episode and liked the style. The big font was nice too.  Light on the path as you write on! Eyestar ** Image ID #1919873 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!"  .
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You responded to this review 05/31/2014 @ 8:41pm EDT