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Review #4011652
Viewing a review of:
 If the world knew who I am Open in new Window. [E]
"Everybody's got a dark side". Used the word 'I' so you would read it IF IT WERE YOU ;D
by Ethereal Elixir Author Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi there! "Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie! *Blush*

*FlowerT* Personal Impression: I found this to be dark and depressing, but I think you were going for that. It sounded more like a letter to yourself than a poem, but some poems are letters to ourselves so, I wouldn't worry about it much. It needs a little work. Fewer words with more of an impact. It has great meaning, but it could have such a more impact with fewer words if you work on it a bit more.

*FlowerR*Tone & Mood: Mood is a little sad and depressing and the tone is good and solid.

*FlowerP* Emotional Impact: It has a very worrying effect on people. Worry for you and pity. I prayed this isn't really about you and just about someone you know or just your imagination.It brings out emotion, but poems are suppose to bring out emotion..

*FlowerV* Grammar/Punctuation: You did an excellent job with this. I see these problems.
Could it be an annoy face? (should be "annoyed")
Would the people whom I loved dearly left me alone, confused in this creepy world? (should be " leave me alone")
But I always ended up behaved in poor manners, (doesn't make sense)

*Flowerw* Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this poem. Please keep on writing more poems just like this!

*BalloonR*WelcometoWDC "Newbie Welcome WagonOpen in new Window.! *BalloonR*


   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/01/2014 @ 9:39am EDT
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