Hi there! "Gasp!" You are being reviewed by a newbie!

Personal Impression: It started out good and solid, but it never morphed into a story. It stopped with the grandfather reliving the story in his head. I was expecting to read a good old fashion story about love or the way things use to be. So, it fell a little flat for me. I think you are heading in the right direction though and it should be extended. You should include the story and it will bond the pair together like you started doing with what you wrote. I do hope you do extend it. It seems like it will be a great little story once it is told.

Tone & Mood: Great tone and mood. It was reflective and gave a sense of longing for the days gone by.. It revealed a lot in a few words, but could be extended into a great story..

Emotional Impact: You did a great job with what you wrote, but like I said, it needs that little extra. You will done wonders with it and that is what we strive for as writers.

Grammar/Punctuation: You did an excellent job with this. I see no problems.

Summary: Your overall story was well presented and held my attention.

Overall: I would recommend this to others and would rereview it if you extend it a little.

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this story. Please keep on writing more stories just like this!Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this story. Please keep on writing more stories just like this!