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Review #4194873
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Hannah ♫♥♫ Author Icon,

I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. in affiliation with "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window..

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts" Open in new Window. *Flowerw*


Title: It's the lament of one of Winnie's comma students, seems like a suitable title to me!

First Impression: This just reminds me why I hate the comma and have given up trying to master it. 30 rules, with who knows how many exceptions? It's mind-boggling, and you're making me self-conscious about the commas I'm using now!

Flow: This poem flows well, with the punctuation (yet only one comma!) giving the reader instructions on when to breathe. Some poems don't need this, but it works well here to show your frustration with commas and apparently your lack of use of them here. *Wink*

Rhyme: The end of every line rhymes, which helps the poem flow well when read aloud. The rhymes are all true rhyming words, rather than similar words, so good job. *Thumbsup*

Word Choice: Queen and dean. To be good with commas, you have to truly be in control of them, it seems from your word choice. This is a great image to plant in the readers mind.

Spelling/Grammar: No errors spotted, and I daren't comment on commas if I did spot anything! *Wink*

Closing Thoughts: I'd love to see this expanded into multiple stanzas, there seems to be plenty to comment on, what with so many rules! Thanks for the entertaining read. I hope Winnie didn't get her ruler! *Wink*

Lorraine

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Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr.


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