Hello again, steviekey. I'm back with another review, this time of your poem, "Invalid Item" . I hope it finds you well. Thanks for sharing your writing with us and giving us a chance to review.

As someone who can't stand abandonment, I definitely feel your sentiments here. I chose to read the poem just because I liked the title and figured I could relate. I think the best thing this poem has going for it is the emotional impact. I think we've all been in this situation where we're just waiting for the person to reach out to us, and it's a pretty awful feeling when that never comes to fruition. My favorite lines were the final ones:

To see if I was still breething
To see if I was needing you
I was.

It's hard to realize that someone might not care as much as we think they would. As in, they don't even bother checking on you or don't even realize that you need them. People always tell me I need to work on my communication, so that might be a part of this too. I think people who are sensitive to rejection have a way of projecting their ideas onto other people. We think we've made ourselves clear when we actually haven't.

A couple things with this poem to mention. In this italicized part above, "breething" should be spelled, "breathing" instead. I also don't know how much I dig the use of the word "abating" here. I'm assuming the narrator isn't actually dying or ebbing away, so to speak. I think there might be a better word to use here that would conjure more imagery.

Other than those two little nitpicks, I really enjoyed this piece. Good job! Thanks again for sharing with us.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .