Hi Viv,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+].

Overall Impression:

This is a beautiful poem, dear Viv. The Christmas story in poetic form. I liked it very much.

You do an excellent job portraying the situation Joseph and Mary find themselves in. No room, exhaustion, desperation. Then the relief of finding shelter, even if it is in a stable, surrounded by the animals.

The kindness of the innkeeper's wife, the shepherds, the angels, the joy at the end... all are perfectly reflected in this work. It has a beautiful and, may I say it, soothing feel to it.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. It has a pleasant rhythm and flow to it. That isn't always easy to maintain throughout a poem of this length, but you managed it. Well done!

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions. I hope that you will find them helpful!

I know that many poets capitalise the first letter of each line, and that this is very much a personal choice. However, in a poem of this kind, which is a poetic story, I think that allowing the capitalisation to depend on the individual sentences within the piece would enhance the overall clarity and reading experience. Just my opinion.

Stanza 10:

I think that "manager" should be "manger".

My Rating:

A beautiful poem, dear Vivian. I was glad to read it, even in July!

I did have a couple of suggestions. One was a matter of personal preference. The other, just a tiny typo. I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .