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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4503032
Review #4503032
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ruwth is writing... Open in new Window. [18+]
I will be adding stories & reflections as time marches on. Take a gander today!
by ruwth Author Icon
         Review for entry/chapter: "~ A Few Birthday Parties ~" Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Balloongo* Yipppee! Hey Party gal! Celebrating WDC's 19th birthday with a review for your "I Write in 2019" story item! *Delight*

*Cake* Wow! This was a delightful read and I could sense to love of the poet for these people and birthday surprises. I like how you wove the chosen words into the work so seamlessly.

*Balloonp* The story was coherent in its succession of memories and the details made a lively picture. I wondered why the mom would not be happy about her daughter's first surprise..but then, she may have been worried about the house not being neat or her not being up for it. etc. LOL ah moms! I thought it was sweet of the girl and wow, did you make the treats yourself? How did mom find out? Though I suppose you would have to mention it...LOL

It was cool how twice you wrote what you did NOT have or do at the parties. It was a lovely change. *Wink*

I wondered who else came to the sister's party and did they stay at the camp as well. I was curious as to how grandma had set it up. Would add interest and detail to know how it was then. *Smile*

*Quill*I only noticed a few little typos:

You missed a "t" in "a the dollar store". Aren't they great places for this kind of thing, especially so kids can participate with their bit of cash. *Smile*

"campgrounds": I wondered if it should be singular though maybe people do use the plural for one campground place. *Think*

*Cake2*The ending was fun! I did that once: gave myself a party..gave gifts to friends. It was small but I like it better! Fun!

*Star**Confettir*I enjoyed this memory story and how the vibe of the birthday reception changed for your mom. *Heart* It is cool too how you and your sister reconnected.

Good luck in the contest and thanks for supporting Rimad's activity.

eyestar
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