Hi. My name is Max. I found your story on "Please Review" . I enjoyed reading it and wanted to share some thoughts with you about it.

Item Reviewed: "Endings and Beginnings Ch 1"   by Gndrat
Reviewer: Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈

                                                             
As always, these are just one person's opinions. Always remember Only you know what is best for your story. I've read and commented on your work as I would try to read my own. I hope you find something here useful , and that you will discard the rest with good cheer.

                                                             
What I liked best
This is a well-written opening chapter. There are two initial ideas that launch the story. First, that the sun is starting to expand and, hence, is dying. The second is that an (exo-?)planet is available. From the description, it appears to correspond to the Proterozoic eon on earth. This appears to launch the plot, apparently an expedition to colonize the newly discovered planet and save the human species from extinction. The pairing of these ideas adds urgency to the colonization aspect. The initial planning shows awareness that both events will cause widespread social disorder.

Ordinarily, I only review things on request. My usual review is in-depth, with extensive line-by-line comments. That's a bit much for most authors, especially if unsolicited. For this reason, I'm going to restrict myself to some general observations and questions.

Just my personal opinion
First, on the question of the sun's expansion. I'm certainly no expert, but I'm pretty sure that current theories predict the sun has about five billion years left before it exhausts its hydrogen and starts expansion to a red giant. There is some evidence that the sun is a variable star, with a few cycles deduced from tree rings and other observational data. But a cataclysmic expansion of the type suggested in this chapter doesn't seem to be in the cards. Most SciFi readers will have this general knowledge, so your novel will need at least a plausible explanation. For example, maybe there is geologic evidence (yet unknown) to support solar expansion as an explanation for past mass extinctions.

The second issue has to do with the habitable planet. The microprobes that Stephen Hawking proposed could conceivably gather the kind of data you describe. Given the four decade turnaround in data, however, that would mean that the planet is probably in the Alpha Centauri system, since it would take decades for even a microprobe to get there. At the same time, there is mention of challenges having something to do with Uranus. I sincerely hope that the novel won't propose an earth-like planet around Uranus. There really is no candidate for this.

A third issue has to do with colony size. In terms of genetic drift, the minimum size is probably on the order of 500 breeding pairs. However, by freezing human eggs and sperm, the genetic diversity of the colony could be vastly increased, so the more basic issue is the size needed to start a viable colony that could take advantage of the frozen eggs and sperm. The chapter mentions 5,000, which seems a reasonable minimum. However, the colony would also need an entire ecosystem to be viable. Domesticated plant species, especially grains, would be needed, along with a broad range of domesticated animals, probably starting with horses. Horses have the advantage that they produce more horses, something tractors can't do. Then there's the rest of the ecosystem that supports fertile soils in which the plants grow, and so on.

Oh, there's also mention of grass-like plants on the new planet. On Earth, grass is a fairly recent evolutionary addition, not appearing until the Cretaceous when there are already large land creatures, i.e., dinosaurs. Evolution on an exo-planet won't necessarily follow that of earth, of course, but it's the best model we've got.

Finally, there's the question of how we get 5000 colonists to an exoplanet. I think most SciFi readers will be willing to posit a breakthrough FTL drive, but a multi-generational ship, or a ship using suspended animation are also possible alternatives.

Anyway, I'm betting that you've given thought to at least some of these ideas. Your first chapter was stimulating enough reading to give rise to this set of questions, which is an achievement in itself.

If you wish, I can send you a more detailed and in-depth review with line-by-line comments...but beware! That might be more than you want or need at this point, where the most important thing is to get the ideas down on paper.

Overall, I think this is good first chapter with lots of interesting ideas and great potential for a SciFi saga. thank you for sharing!!!

PS

I'm currently working on a new SciFi novel myself. If you're interested, I can send you a link.Proterozoic


                                                             

I only review things I like, and I really liked this story. I'm a professor by day, and find awarding grades the least satisfying part of my job. Since I'm reviewing in part for my own edification, I decided long ago to give a rating of "4" to everything I review, thus avoiding the necessity of "grading" things on WDC. So please don't assign any weight to my "grade" -- but know that I selected this story for review because I liked it and thought I could learn from studying it.

Again, these are just one person's opinions. Only you know what is best for your story! The surest path to success is to keep writing and to be true to your muse!

Thanks again for sharing this item. Keep on writing!

Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈
http://MaxGriffin.net/
http://MaxGriffin.net/blog/
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Thoughts on Writing  (NPL) Short essays on the craft of fiction. #1847273 by Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .