%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4737366 |
 | To Grass & Water  [E] Moving cattle  |
| (4.5)| An Angel Army Review Hi strlcuckoo . I'm JACE , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "To Grass & Water" . I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.  Overall Impression. A heartfelt, yet disturbing poem about the vicissitudes of ranching. For most of us unaccustomed to those kind of trials every day, I'm grateful to the few who work such long hours to feed the masses.I suspect few think about what's provided to them on a daily basis, and hard journey for those things to arrive. Your offering is a five-stanza poem with an a-b-a-b rhyming pattern. Well done in that regard.  Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. I believe you need a possessive apostrophe in rivers. Rivers a trickle, River's a trickle, Need a space after drive. Drive'em to the loading pen. Drive 'em to the loading pen. My Rating. 4.5.  Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.Reviewed by JACE    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/16/2024 @ 3:13pm EDT