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Review #4741268
Viewing a review of:
 Boy vs His Sister’s Coat Open in new Window. [E]
A Boy and his Sister’s Coat Feud, with hilarious consequences for both of them.
by Sophia Snowflake Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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What an unusual and amusing story. I’ve never read anything quite like it, to be honest: a boy and a coat with a mind of its own. At first I was afraid it might be some kind of fetish story, as so many things are around here in the dustier corners. But it’s charming and harmless, albeit perhaps a bit pointless as well.

I see you’ve chosen a quiet narrative form, telling the story without dialogue and with nice descriptive details that show as well as tell. I understand the coat can’t actually “talk,” so no dialogue is required here. But I do wonder why it had to be his sister’s coat, when it could just as well have been his own. What became of it when his sister outgrew it? Did Timmy take it and stash it away safely? Also, it might be more fun to have stuffed animals with minds of their own, as that would create something more meaningful and memorable to bond with.

I would suggest usually size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability across devices. Other than that your grammar and formatting are good.

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