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Review #4741573
Viewing a review of:
 The curse became a blessing Open in new Window. [E]
A Rshi's curse on a prince became a blessing. To know how? please read the story.
by Ravi Ranjan Goswami Author Icon
Review by Nobody’s Home Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Ravi Ranjan Goswami!
You're receiving this Anniversary Review from Nobody’s Home in conjunction with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*BookOpen* Impressions/Suggestions:

It's apparent immediately that English is not your first language. Please don't receive this negatively, as it is not meant as a criticism. There are many members of WDC for whom English isn't their second, third, or even fourth language. Something that can be helpful to a reviewer of your writing would be for you to note at the beginning of the text that English is not your first language or that these are your efforts at improving your written English.

Something else that can help make your writing easier to read for everyone, regardless of language, is for you to include a blank line of space between paragraphs -- even if it's just during a dialogue. Including that space between lines can help the reader's eyes keep better track of what they're reading and also who's doing or saying what and when.

One thing that would help me to understand the story better would be fewer uses of the word "he" and more actual naming of the characters, especially towards the beginning of the story. I found it confusing to follow that first section because I wasn't sure which character the story was following until a few lines later when you'd mention the prince by name. Paying more attention at the beginning of your stories to be more clear in identifying which person is doing which action can be very helpful.


*BookOpen* Take-Away

I really like this story and appreciate its theme very much. Wouldn't it be a great thing if young people today would receive clear, positive feedback on the good things they do and receive clear, negative feedback that really matters to them when they do things they shouldn't do? I think it's lovely the way the prince in your story discovers he enjoys the life of doing good deeds and that he's rewarded in the end, and so is the woman who fell in love with him before he made these changes within himself.

I hope you'll continue to work on and improve this story and any others you post in your portfolio. Thank you for sharing your writing with me and the WDC Community.

Happy Writing!


Respectfully,

Angie

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/06/2024 @ 11:05pm EDT
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