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 Review #4742141 |
 | Touch  [18+] Do we dare? Writer's Cramp entry - 25 lines  |
| (4.0)| Hallo Gratefully IE ! I will be reviewing your work "Touch" on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: Written for a prompt-driven contest, this is a poem that touches (no pun intended) on a relationship that appears to be on the forbidden side. Pluses:Well done incorporating the prompts given into the poem, which reads as a free verse, if I'm not mistaken. I do like the format, however, as it reads almost as 'careless' as the participants in this forbidden tryst. The way the poem starts off, it gives one the illusion that we are dealing with a set of lovesick teenagers, and I'm desperately trying to come up with a backstory as to what might have happened to make the first meeting occur in the first place. Are they neighbours or best friends from childhood or just strangers meeting each other for the first time? Whatever the case, it appears the attraction started from that summer night. The theme of 'touch' is prevalent in this piece. And I see the clever progression as we read through the poem. They all tend to stand out; 'You want to touch' to 'Do we touch?' to 'We touch' to 'I want to touch again' - could almost read like a dance of seduction as it goes through the stages of a relationship. Of course, the stand out section that really grabs your attention is: In your car On that night Far from the prying eyes Of your spouse And of mine Well darn, there goes all thoughts of this being teenagers, yes? What makes things even more troubling (or fun depending on how you look at it) is that both are still enamoured with each other as seasons pass by. I guess one can only wish our lovebirds the happiness they truly deserve in the future, eh? Suggestions:Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. I cannot think of any productive suggestion to give to you regarding this. Or at least anything that constructive. I simply enjoyed it!    Thanks so very much for sharing your poem with us. Keep on writing!   Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/05/2024 @ 3:17pm EDT