\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743639
Review #4743639
Viewing a review of:
One Long Day in Chicago Open in new Window. [18+]
Private Detective Lou Ryan, 1930s Chicago.
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window. "The Iron Bank of BraavosOpen in new Window.

A Review from "The Iron Bank of BraavosOpen in new Window.!


Hi Webbie,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: One Long Day in Chicago

First Impression: The footnote at the end was perfect, I know the location and the year the story is happening. Lou and Gloria again hot on the heels of a murderer to get Gloria's hard on his luck brother. I had younger siblings and I was always bailing them out for one thing or another.

What needs your attention: Thank you, doll for the larger font and better use of white space. I didn't notice any grammar or punctuation issues. Kudos.

What part I liked best: Lou's falling for Gloria, ahhh. That didn't take long for that old softie. I thought it was a nice touch with us learning the rest of the story by his conversation with Gary on what not to telll Gloria.

Overall impression: Webbie has a collection of detective stories that appear to be in the 30's with the protagonist Lou Ryan and his secretary Gloria who appears to be a crime magnet. This story introduced to Gary, Gloria's brother and some of Lou's low life connections and a murder that Gary was arrested for but didn't commit. His sister believed he was innocent and he was.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? 6 of 10 I don't think I'll get all 10 done tonight. I'm exhausted.
created by Gervic

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4743639