Hi Kelly,

This is a fantastic story. The tone is filled with confusion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is wondering what the woman who has walked into Jack's office needs. They will read to the last word to find out. In the story, a woman asks a private investigator for help with a personal problem. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. You have accomplished a great deal in just a few words. Great job.