%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4793112 |
 | Holiday Shopping 2023  [18+] Holiday Shopping 2023  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: When I started reading, I thought this would be a humorous story. Something about shopping for Christmas; maybe a fight over the last special present or the last roast, or perhaps something funny with the inflatable ornaments. Instead, I was treated to a biting social commentary that took a pop at pretty much everything associated with Christmas consumerism and the current state of the country. While the first paragraph was quite funny, the tone changed with the second, and the real intent of the tale became clear. By the time I read about the humiliation and shame of not spending money they didn’t have and would have to borrow at a twenty-six percent interest rate , I understood what kind of story this was and was looking forward to reading the rest.  Suggestions: The story was well written, but I noticed a couple of punctuation issues where you might need a comma (however, I’m no expert so I would recommend checking it first): Sandy had asked the kids and they said they only wanted money. I believe there should be a comma after “kids”. If he could find no gifts then at least a roast on Christmas eve would do. Again, I think there needs to be a comma after “gifts”.  Final Thoughts: Bob didn’t come across as particularly materialistic like some of his neighbours with the inflatable decorations. He seems more concerned with providing for his family and had there been a chance to get a few presents as well, that would have been nice. This is going to sound like a stupid question, but I was wondering how ‘current’ the world you described here is. I’m from the UK so I don’t know how much this tale resembles the US right now. The part about most of the shops in the mall being empty is certainly true here, but the price of the food made me think (or rather, hope) that this might be set in the future? If not, I’m not sure how anyone can afford Christmas, but I suppose that’s the point of this story. You said this was a contest entry, but you didn’t complete the other two genres which might give the readers a clue if this is realistic or speculative fiction. Either way, this was a very good story that made me think.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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