Hi jimmar

Congratulations on your account anniversary! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion.


Positives

I like the setup and some of the details you've provided here. In a couple short paragraphs, you've set up a story that feels like it's authentically part of a larger world.


Suggestions

The narrative itself feels more like a vignette than a full story with a beginning, middle, and end. It's a great setup, but it would be great to flesh it out a little bit.


Overall

Overall, this was an entertaining read. Nice job!


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Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .