This week: Needful Things Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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Hello folks! Happy month before spring arrives!
I know I don't need to remind all of you that we've had one kooky year with a continuation of said kookiness overflowing into 2021. Our mobile home park in the tropical south Florida has had it share of growing pains trying to adapt to the whole Covid business and what to do and what not to do to keep the community "safe." In Florida, our governor has opened up the state, no mask mandate. He has left that up to individual counties according to their infection rates in the mask mandating department. Individual shops can mandate them in order to enter the premises. However the rules are determined, this state is much more open that my other state up north.
That being said, our clubhouse has gone from closing down every three hours for cleaning the pool area and inside rooms to now just once a day, early in the morning. The pool opens at a specific time after the initial cleaning, then closes at 7:30, because everyone knows the Covid only comes out to get you after 7:30. I never did understand the reasoning behind the 7:30 choice of time. A couple of us hang out socially in the TV room with old reruns on the ION channel. Just when the show starts to get us hooked, it's time to leave. I asked the manager why the Covids couldn't wait until 8:00, on the hour rather than half-hour. He said the rules come down from corporate, in Chicago. 
As time has gone by, even the manager found the restrictions to be a bit unnecessary in our community in a smaller town, not a huge city with lots of people elbow to elbow and lots of youth wanting to party. We are hoping normal hours will return soon.  In the meantime, the management has been catching up on supplies as needed
I learned when I returned South in the fall, that something was missing in the pool room. I wanted to practice my pool playing again, but was told I needed my own ball. How very sexist of them to exclude those who didn't have their own balls from playing. Covid strikes again! (Regular balls, sticks and racks belonging to the house were locked up. Players would have to supply their own and take them home with them and tend to their cleaning -- maintenance wasn't going to be responsible.) I ordered a set of balls online, and now I too can play pool with the boys! 
With longer hours at the clubhouse, paper goods needed replenishing. They had months of a closed building and enjoyed the money-saving part of not having to place as many orders for such items. Maintenance began to notice the rolls running low for the automatic paper towels. One day I went in the washroom and noticed an empty towel-feeder and a couple rolls of paper towels left on the sink. I asked a maintenance guy why they weren't replacing the automatic feeders. He said the office ordered the wrong size, so they were awaiting the right size order to come in. I told him paper towels left on a sink's counter weren't very hygienic. All of us ladies hated grabbing hold of towels everyone was touching. I asked him if he could do an exchange by procuring a feeder roll from the guy's room and leaving them the loose rolls. He thought about it for a minute and said he could do that. He didn't think guys minded as much as the ladies did about the hands-free roller . So, we got our quick refill.
A week later, the new boxes of paper goods arrived. I was at the clubhouse during the evening the head maintenance guy came in to replace them. He was going to wait until morning before opening and replace the rolls, but I asked him to replace them then because a weekend was coming up and they probably wouldn't do anything about them until Monday. I stood watch in the ladies’ room to warn any women intending to use the facilities that there was a handyman present. This guy was always one I got along with over the years. We laughed at jokes and had more of a friendship rather than worker-resident social type of distancing. Some people simply don't appreciate what these guys do and especially how hard he had to work during strict Covid restrictions with the cleaning several times per day, and no other help for months.
He unlocked the dispenser, and fed the towels through. When he waved his hand in front of it, it jammed and came out one-sided. He reopened the dispenser and noticed he missed one of the threaders. He had to re-thread and lock it up again and pull them through until it was even again. Now they worked!
Suddenly, I heard him mumbling under his breath. I asked him what was wrong. He had locked his other keys on the inside of the dispenser. He again, reopened the case, took out his keys. It took a bit longer than usual to replace the towels due to the aforementioned issues, but the third time was the charm! The paper towels fed through smoothly, the keys were back in his possession and the ladies would be thrilled to have the hands-free paper towels back!
With the paperwork done, we both exited the ladies’ room. He, grateful that I stayed there as a lookout for him so he wouldn’t be embarrassed by the sudden entry of an unsuspecting lady intending on using the facilities. At the open door way of the ladies' room, which was visible from pool room, we exited and he said, “thank you, WebWitch!” All the guys looked up at the two of us leaving the ladies' room. I turned and walked right into the pool room and said ... ” Anyone got a cigarette?" 
That's all she puffed-out for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time -- laugh hard, laugh often!
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And, to put you in a Slam Cupid mood ... One-Star Rated Poetry from a previous Bard's Hall Contest: (If you haven't reviewed these yet, please remember that a 1-star rating is preferred. Really, I'm serious about this. )
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(This one was actually too good to be a one-star poem. It's quite humorous and deserves it's place in Slam Cupid!)
Want to join in on some one-star rated poetry fun?
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Elby Wordsmith 
Hello Web - Witch
Your current articles on Pranks caused me to write down one that has been in my life for 40 yrs and I plan to implement. I just wrote it out and hope you will take a look.
any comments would be appreciated if you have time.
enjoy
Elby Wordsmith
It sounds like a fun read! However, there is no link included here. Perhaps you could respond to this newsletter in the comment section below and put the link to your item in it. You just never know ... it may be highlighted in next month's Comedy Newsletter edition.
Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it.
It's always a pleasure to read your comments, folks!
See you next month.
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Comedy: February 17, 2021 Issue [#10614]
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