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Comedy: December 25, 2024 Issue [#12848]




 This week: Christmas Capers
  Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI back on Jan 4 Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

For me, 'Comedy' and 'Christmas' mean my Dad's capers as Santa! *SantaHat*


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Letter from the editor

Dear Reader,



When I was a year old, I accepted a gift from Santa at the club, and was quite pleased with it. I don't recall what the gift was — but what's more important, I didn't know that I was taking the gift from my own Dad! Yes, Dad played Santa at the club a couple of times. He invited my cousin to the North Pole, and the boy was pleased and boasted about it to his aunt (Santa's wife, though the five-year-old didn't know it)!

Dad changed out of his Santa costume, unstuck the beard, rubbed off the make up and chauffeured us home. We were dropping off some friends who lived along the route, and their little boy opened his Santa gift in the car. "That old, bearded guy has no sense," the child remarked. "I'd asked for a rifle, all he has given me is this stupid choo-choo train."

Some years later, Dad was Santa at a luxury hotel. This was before the days of mobile phones, so when he got a minute, he went to the nearest phone and called Mom and me at home. "They've opened a room for me," he said. "Come on over, let's be together in this luxury."

We had to get some chores done before we could luxuriate, so we got there toward the end of his Santa-shift. His beard was looking a bit straggly by then. More surprising, he was looking glum, sitting on the king-size bed in his room. There was a lull in the proceedings outside and he'd come in to rest.

"Why the long face, Santa?" I asked.

"Did you see the buffet as you came up here?"

"Yup, quite a spread. Must be costing a lot of money."

"It does," Santa replied. "And I'm allowed to eat anything from it that I want."

I was confused. "And this makes you sad because ..."

"This dratted beard!" he choked out. "This dratted beard! It's stuck across my lips. I can't get my mouth open to eat. I can only sip soup thorough a straw."

The drawbacks of being Santa! *Smile*

But that wasn't the end of his grumbling.

"And there aren't any kids here, either. This is a swanky place, not a family friendly one. I've got this sack filled with toys and no little ones to hand them to."

"But the sack looks half-empty," Mom commented. "You must've given out some."

"Yeah, there was a foreign tour group with some eighty year old women in it. I asked them if they've been good girls and handed them a doll each and everyone giggled."

There was a knock on the door. Apparently, the lull was over and Dad needed to put his game face on again and walk out.

He looked at us. The glum look disappeared. A smile appeared. Then he threw back his head and laughed. He stood up, picked up the sack and headed for the door. "Ho, ho, ho," he yelled, marching out.

A few years later, he was called to be Santa at a department store. They had a Santa coat, but no trousers or shoes. We found this out very late and didn't have any red trousers for Dad. So he wore the red suit with the closest thing we could dig up in his wardrobe ... orange trousers. It looked a bit peculiar, but it had to do.

I wanted to get photos of this assignment, him with the kids, but most of the kids burst into tears when they got near enough for a picture. Come to think of it, Santa is scary looking if you are tiny, haven't seen him before, and nobody has prepared you for him.

Dad was great with kids, so he understood what to do. As soon as a parent carrying a kid approached, he signaled them to slow down. Then he spoke gently to the kid till the kid trusted him. Only one or two actually sat on his lap, but most of them did finally overcome their fear enough to stand next to him and tell him what they wanted for Christmas.

This assignment was a two-day one, and we had to carry the suit home overnight. I had an idea. "Dad, let's get the neighbour's grandkids to pose with you while we have this suit, I haven't got too many good pics at the store."

That didn't actually work out well either. We didn't have time to buy real gifts, so what they were 'getting' wasn't as interesting as the lady holding the camera and trying to get them NOT to look at her. I got some shots of Santa looking earnestly at the kids while the kids looked into camera.

The only thing to do was to take a photo of Santa with his own kid, now grown up. That's the one you see on the trinket above!!

Ho-ho-ho
- Sonali

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good write!


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