  Comedy
This week: Edited by: elizm446
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”You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. “
-- Robin Williams
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Hi everybody!! 
I’m a guest editor this week so you’re getting a double dose of Mia. 
I think the best and worst job I had was being a driver for Domino’s Pizza for a couple of years. It was the best job because my schedule could be as flexible as I wanted. I could work there and still attend school. I also made some pretty good money, especially on the weekends. It was sometimes the worst job because I’d have to deal with some difficult customers at times and of course there were the occasional robberies. 
Our busiest times were Friday and Saturday nights between 4pm until around 8pm. That was our dinner rush. During this time, phones are ringing off the hook and we’ve got orders on top of each other. When you take a phone order, it shouldn’t take more than 60 seconds. This one particular Friday night, I had a guy who couldn’t make up his mind.
Me: Would you like to hear our specials?
Customer: Oh …. um …. no.
Me: Okay, what can I get for you?
Customer: Um …. hold on … *yells* Babe, what kinda pizza do you want? What? What? Pepperoni? What else? What? What? Oh. Okay. *back on the phone* Okay, I want two large pepperoni, sausage, and ham.
I ring it up and give him the price.
Customer: Whoa, that’s a lot of money!!
Me: Do you have any coupons?
Customer: Hold on … *yells* Babe! We got any coupons? Babe! Babe! Coupons! Babe, do we have any coupons? No, that’s Pizza Hut! Look over there! Okay, nevermind. *back on the phone* Nah, no coupons.
Me: No problem, do you want to hear our specials? We’ve got some good deals going on.
I read him the specials and after changing his mind three times, he places an order. Four minutes have gone by.
Me: Okay, I’ll have it out to you in about 30-45 minutes.
FIVE MINUTES LATER, THE SAME CUSTOMER CALLS BACK
Customer: Uh, no … I called earlier. I want to change my order.
Me: No problem.
I tell the CSRs to stop making his old order. After asking me to name every topping we have, he places another order. Five minutes have gone by.
Me: Okay, I’ll have it out to you in about 45 minutes.
TWO MINUTES LATER, HE CALLS BACK
Customer: Yeah, it’s me again. I wanna change my order. Do you have any other specials?
Me: Well, we have a two-for-one special but it’s carry out only. But if you place a carry out order, it’ll be cheaper and your order will only take 15 minutes.
Customer: Okay, I’ll get that then.
He takes about three minutes to decide want he wants.
Me: Okay, it’ll be ready in about 15 minutes.
FIVE MINUTES LATER, HE CALLS BACK.
Customer: Uh, it’s me again. I want to change-
Me: Oh my god. Are you serious?
Customer: Uh yeah. My girlfriend found a coupon.
Me: Alright, fine. What would you like?
He places his order and I give him the price and delivery time.
Me: Listen man, I have your address right here in our computer’s database. If you call here again, I’m coming for you.
Manager: Mia!
Me: Seriously man ….
Customer: *laughs* I know. I’m sorry, hon. This is the last time I’ll call, I promise.
Me: Okay. It should be about 40 minutes.
He didn’t call back that night and the driver got a good tip. 
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Editor’s Picks:
Therapeutic writing. And chock full of Anti-Slam entries. 
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Have you always wanted to be problematic? Well, now you can! 
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Think your story is so funny that it could be on the screen? Then enter this contest!
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An experience I can relate to. 
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Yay!!! Feedback!
Beyond the Cloud9  wrote:
I'm glad I don't have your mom to embarrass me more than I embarrass myself! Great first NL, Mia!
billwilcox wrote:
Mia!
I can relate to your mom...lol. My mum did a similar thing just before leaving my girlfriend and I alone in the house for the first time. She said, "Bill, remember not to sacrifice any virgins while I'm gone!"
*kicks Mia* Did you know you had a sign on your back?
Problematic Content  wrote:
I laughed so hard I peed myself a little. Oh wait... never mind, that's old pee.
Sophurky  wrote:
Great first comedy newsletter, Mia! Congratulations, and thanks for some great laughs! I think we all have some great mother (and other family member) stores - I know that I do! Looking forward to your next one.
Paige Turner wrote:
Your comedy newsletter brightened my day, Mia.
Just wanted to let you know.
fleckgirl wrote:
Mia - GREAT newsletter! Some really good featured items and your scenarios with your mom - well, we can all relate to stories like that, can't we? LOL Thanks again. I enjoyed it!
Fleck Girl
⭐Princette♥PengthuluWrites  wrote:
I feel so sorry for your teenage self! Reminds me of the embarrassing stuff my mom's done! Great newsletter!
Dhoc-li Llama wrote:
WAAAH! YOU POOR THING, YOU SOUND SOOOO LONELY!!!
Well...
Never fear, I'm here to cheer you up >:K MUAHAHA!
*ahem* I love talking to people... Please don't be lonely, and have a good day 
diana wrote:
I Loved your newsletter. I hope you will do more. If only all parents were straight shooters, lol.
Lornda  wrote:
Hi Mia.
Yes, I did enjoy your first newsletter. I laughed at your "mother stories." I can relate that is for sure. You are so right, it is hard to believe these stories or even admit that they are true. This is what I have been basing my stories on, so far mostly my mother and one on the out-law oops, I mean the mother-in-law.
Keep on writing.
Lornda
spazmom wrote:
I loved the conversations with your mom. Only parents can embarrass in quite that way...LOL
Good newsletter.
Puditat wrote:
Mia, thanks for sharing those personal situations. They certainly put a smile on my face.
Katya the Poet wrote:
Wonderful newsletter! Great article about parents embarrassing kids. It goes both ways, so I look forward to a possible future newsletter article about kids embarrassing parents with the cute things they say IN PUBLIC! Thanks for including one of my Anti-SLAM comic entries!!
Thanks for all the feedback, everyone! I really appreciated it. Don’t hesitate to drop me a note and please feel free to submit any Comedy items you’d like to see featured in upcoming newsletters.
And please don't unsubscribe! Thanks! |
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Comedy: March 28, 2007 Issue [#1625]
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