  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Bubbles can be funny, whether they be tiny bubbles, large, walk through bubbles or the regular old bottled bubbles that kids love to run around with and wreak slimy havoc all over the kitchen floor. 
Sometimes, bubbles can mean trouble. Don’t believe me? Well, just read on and see what can happen when the bubbles have a mind of their own ...
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I have to admit, I really don’t look forward to that time of year when the doctor’s check-ups are due. Thus, until recently, I’ve merely ignored those nasty appointments to the point of not setting them up, at all. 
Under the advisement of a good friend, I finally made all those appointments. You know the ones, Mammograms, Pap smears, blood tests, blah, blah, BLAH. The thing about it is, that I went to the doctor’s because of my chronic, severe back pain. I soon became one of those patients the medical profession drools over when they see you--Ka-Ching!
“Wow, you haven’t been for a check-up in how many years? Hmmmm! Well let’s start off with the things that should be done on a yearly basis and move forward from there.”
“But, Doc, my back hurts, why are you looking in my ears, nose and throat?”
The doctor wrote up a list of demands, I mean tests--no, I mean demands, for me to get done first, and then, re-group after the results come back. Then she would discuss what to do with my back, once the x-rays were in her hands.
“Okay, okay, I agree I need x-rays, but why all those other tests?”
“Because it’s good for you. From this point forward, you are my patient, do you hear me? Mine, mine, MINE!!!” I swear I heard a maniacal laugh come from those parted lips!
As part of the new patient work-up sheet, I was asked about my sex-life, if I own a gun and did I feel safe at home. Excuse me? I said my back hurts. Last time I looked, I did not find a bullet hole there! Am I safe in my home? I own a gun, what do you think, Doc? Really, folks, were you waiting for my response about my sex-life? We can save that for another Comedy Newsletter! 
However, I digress. This story is about the danger of bubbles.
With almost zombie-like nodding on my part, I allowed the doctor’s receptionist to set up all the testing and x-ray appointments on one day, and then to return to the doctor’s office at the end of that day for my final check-up--the Pap test. 
Since I lived an hour and a half away from the clinic, and the blood tests required me to show-up, after fasting, I decided to stay at a hotel the night before, and not fight the workday traffic in the morning. I checked into a Holiday Inn that was located a couple blocks from the clinic and labs. I figured I deserved a little pampering in the hot tub, and the fact that Margaritas, bar and grille was on the premises made it even sweeter.
I figured I would get to the lab at 9:00 a.m. Taking into consideration the twelve hour fast I must do, I had to plan dining and drinking accordingly.  Thus, I knew I could drink margaritas until 9:00 p.m.! C’mon, folks, I know I told you math wasn’t my forte, but even I can figure that one out without a calculator! 
Oh, yes, I soon forgot about the torture tests awaiting me in the morning. After my, um, -- well let’s just say it wasn’t my first margarita, I looked across the bar and noticed this guy, making toasting motions with his drink, toward me. Hello?!!! Do I look like a lady looking for unladylike meetings? Don't answer that question. It was at that moment that I decided to head back to my room. No, I did not invite the guy from the bar. Sheesh, get your minds out of the gutter!
I had the foresight to order a room with a whirlpool tub in it. I thought I could relax, and perhaps ease some of the back pain. The tub water was started, and I got this brilliant idea. I had some scented body wash, so I poured a little bit into the tub.
I must mention my son’s comment about the event when I told him.
“Mom, a whirlpool is a bubble machine. That’s its job. If you add soapy stuff, you are going to get super bubbles.”
Go figure. Bubbles were rising higher over my body and out of the tub, and there was no end in sight. Actually, I lost sight of the whole bathroom. Bubbles, bubbles, everywhere, in the tub, and in the air. They worked their way out the door and covered yet, another floor . Yeah, I’m a poet, too.
I managed to pull the plug and run the shower on the bubbles to wear them down. I spent a copious amount of my time scooping bubbles off the floor.
 No wonder they put whirlpool tubs only in ground floor rooms!
Finally, the suds, subsided and everything was back to normal. That is, at least as normal as things tend to be around me. 
Folks, all my tests came back just fine. I can breathe a sigh of relief and wait another twenty years to go back to that hell hole! At least, this time, the power didn’t go out while some very sensitive flesh was being squeezed in the mammogram machine--but that’s another story.
That’s it for this month, folks. See you in May.
Until then, laugh hard--laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch
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When a refrigerator becomes a combat zone ...
Monitor this!
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Dipping into other's refreshments can be risky business ...
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Judging is much easier than parenting!
Sardine Sandwiches and Sentence Fragments--A true educational experience ...
You said I was HOW old?!!!
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Ralph 
Submitted Comment:
Hiya,
Funny stuff, I'm reminded of a Christmas where my idiot brother swore his gifts for our mom must have been stolen from his car at the mall and then we found them in my kitchen cupboards. What is especially refreshing is the story telling without profanity, not a (bleepin') one. I joke about, but true-ly respect that.
R.R.
I am happy you enjoyed my newsletter.  BTW, I had to bleep your bleep so we could keep this totally bleep free!
drjim
Submitted Comment:
Hi WebWitch!! THIS newsletter was ever-so-meaningful! In every sense of the word, we fully counted on you 'delivering the goods' ... and no doubt about it, this episode could be described as Mission Not Accomplished!! I thouroughly enjoyed this newsletter - as I indeed enjoy ALL of your editorials. Keep 'em coming!!
- Dr J
Thanks, Doc! You are making me 
Elaine's Beary Limited*~
Submitted Comment:
I seem to always enjoy the comedy newsletter the best. You always have some really good story to tell. Thank you for putting your time into writing these for us here at WDC. I hope everyone enjoys your newsletters as much as I do
Thank you very much, Elaine. You have made my day, my month! I am thrilled to know when my Newsletter reaches out to a reader. 
THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! 
Submitted Comment:
Hi WW! Enjoyed the Comedy Newsletter! - Sonali
Why, thank you, Sonali. I am happy you enjoyed it.
Thank you for your feedback. It is always appreciated.
Remember, if your nose runs and your feet smell, you're built upside down!
WW
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Comedy: April 29, 2009 Issue [#3013]
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