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Comedy: May 06, 2009 Issue [#3040]

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Comedy


 This week:
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

"I had thought — I had been told — that a 'funny' thing is a thing of a goodness. It isn't. Not ever is it funny to the person it happens to. Like that sheriff without his pants. The goodness is in the laughing itself. I grok it is a bravery... and a sharing... against pain and sorrow and defeat."
- Valentine Michael Smith
(Robert Heinlein,
Stranger in a Strange Land)


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

FOOD


         One of the mainstays of comedy is shared experiences. If the subject matter is something that we're all involved in, you'll always have an audience. This might explain why fart jokes are so popular... but this issue isn't about fart jokes. No, I'll concentrate on the other end of things: food.

         While jokes about eating disorders are not politically correct (yet they're still funny), food gives us plenty of other material. Eating with the in-laws. The dinner on the first date. Some kid making a mess of her food. And my favorite - attempting to share food storage space with other people.

         Few of us live and work alone (with the possible exception of comedy newsletter editors), so we all have the lovely experience of sharing - sometimes, with disastrous consequences. There's a book out called Who Moved My Cheese? about dealing with change in your life - well, just a couple weeks ago I went to the office refrigerator to enjoy a nice piece of cheese, and it was gone. So now I need to write a book: Who's the #@#$ &$%# Who Ate My Cheese? subtitled Because I'm Going To Make Your Life Hell.

         Just recently, I had a shared-kitchen experience that I shared in my blog - for those of you benighted souls who do not read my blog, here's a link to the entry: "Eat MeOpen in new Window.

         And if you follow the link from within that post - http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ - you'll find lots more funnies, mostly (but not entirely) food-related. My favorite so far is one where a person taped a note to their salad dressing: "DO NOT USE! I spit in this - (since someone keeps using it)" - to which some wag added: "I spit in it too *Heart* (since you're a jerk)"

         I thought the *Heart* was a nice touch. Really takes the sting out of potential disease transmission, doesn't it?

         Or how about food packaging? I can understand needing to see "Nutrition Facts" on a box of Triscuits, but why do they bother with bottled water? "Calories: 0 Sodium: 0 Fat: 0 Taste: 0" and, there at the bottom: "Ingredients: Water."

         Yeah, they make them label bottles of water, but not Big Mac boxes. Go figure.

         Sometimes, I get these single-serving pizzas that consist of crust, sauce, and cheese, that you heat up in a toaster oven. They've taken to labeling the individual pouch that the crust comes in: "PIZZA CRUST. Remove crust from pouch to heat." You know some idiot tried to heat it in the pouch and wondered why her pizza tasted like polystyrene.

         And I can't talk about food comedy without mentioning all the weird (to us) foods that people eat worldwide: haggis, termites, and gefilte fish, just to name a few. Heck, there's something inherently funny in gefilte fish, whether you like it or not (I consider it just one step up from raw sewage, myself).

         Food. You can't go wrong. And if you feel the least bit guilty because you're making food jokes while millions of people are starving, you can always send them cake.


Editor's Picks

Food Funnies:

 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 Mirror Open in new Window. [18+]
A mirror mocks lifestyle choices
by Chebabi Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


The Bologna Sandwich Open in new Window. [E]
This is a true comical story about something that happened to me.
by tchurt Author Icon


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor


 Late Night Food Delivery Open in new Window. [13+]
A delivery man confronts an apartment dweller [Dialogue 500 Contest Entry]
by Sam N. Yago Author Icon


And a tasty interactive:

 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

 
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Ask & Answer

Last time, I discussed the rare gift of spontaneous comebacks.

Shannon Author Icon: Great NL, Robert, and I LOVE the Churchill quote! But my favorite Winstonism is when Lady Astor said to him, "If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee," to which Churchill replied, "If I were married to you, I'd drink it." *Laugh*

         Thank you! And yes, that's a good one, too - but better known, so I eschewed it for what I hoped would be a more obscure quote.


THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! Author Icon: * Thinks hard to come up with a witty one-liner to get back at Waltz for his Newsletter and his airing the mistake with the closed italic tag. Can't. *Frown* * *Cry*

         Oh, I'm sure you'll have thought of one by now *Bigsmile*


Acme Author Icon I love your British accent; you sound just like my mum *Heart*

         I didn't know my voice was so high. Or is hers low? Either way, go clean your room!


Thomas Author Icon "Oh yeah....well, you're brain has a shell on it. SHUT UP RICHARD!" -- Chris Farley in Tommy Boy.

         Your momma.


Elaine's Beary Limited*~ Author Icon: I love comedy. I love to read comedy and I like to write comedy.Good work I enjoyed this newsletter.

         And you have to wonder what's wrong with people who don't. *Bigsmile* Thanks for the compliment *Smile*


andromeda Author Icon: ah ha. well, you know a lot more about comedy than I do. but like you comedy keeps working it's way into my stories no matter how serious they are. sigh...it would be funny if I could do it better.

         Well, Andromeda, it's a lot like getting to Carnegie Hall. Practice, practice, practice! The more you write, the better you get. But I'd disagree that I know more about comedy than you do - comedy's not a "know" thing, but a "feel it in your gut" thing. All the academic papers about sense of humor still can't tell a joke right. You already know all you need to know - just keep practicing!


         And that's it for this week, folks! Until next time,

LAUGH ON!!!

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